[chapter 231] The Epitome of Their Surechigai
■The original Japanese version
■The previous article
[ch 230-I] The Bullseye in Mami's Feelings I
Hello, this is Korakuone. Are you enjoying Kanokari?
First, I have an announcement. I am steadily translating the serial review article from Chizuru's point of view, "Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story" into English for the Chizuru Mizuhara Birthday Festival 2022. Only the introduction was already posted in English, but I intend to publish the articles from Volumes 1-20 as well. I hope that overseas fans will enjoy it. In addition, I have also reviewed and rewritten the Japanese version once again. If you have not read it yet, please take a look at Chizuru's love story.
Recently, when I hold a talk session on the latest chapter in the Twitter space, Miyajima-san comes to listen with many listeners in tow, and I'm afraid of what he might think of me, so I can't say what I want to say. lol.
So let's talk about chapter 231. Haha. The dialogue between Kazuya and Chizuru was just the epitome of their relationship (their surechigai) too much lol.
It was also the first time Chizuru expressed her feelings for Kazuya with the word (line), "I'm in love with him".
◆BECAUSE... I CAN'T... I SHOULDN'T... FALL IN LOVE WITH A CLIENT... (231)
COME ON. IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT.
... DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
BECAUSE... I CAN'T... I SHOULDN'T... FALL IN LOVE WITH A CLIENT...
Yes, Chizuru, I am well aware of that already, you know. How much you love Kazuya lol.
Probably many readers are excited that Chizuru said (and admitted) that she is in love with Kazuya, but since neither the situation has moved nor the character's feelings have moved, my feelings are business as usual. I'm sorry, Miyajima-san. I didn't read it as you expected.
However, I have a feeling that there is some authorial intention in the fact that he explained Chizuru's feelings here in a straightforward line so that everyone can understand. Even if it is a far-fetched line or silent as usual, it is a scene that doesn't contradict Chizuru's feelings, and I imagine that Miyajima-san decided that at this point, after the Paradise Arc, he should give a clear answer to the reader's question "Is Chizuru in love with Kazuya?".
If so, Miyajima-san may want future stories to be read as a drama of two people who love each other and overcome their surechigai (misunderstanding) to become lovers. To me, It looked like Miyajima-sensei's declaration, "Kazuya and Chizuru will become lovers, so stay tuned!".
In this article, after making clear Chizuru's feelings in the last panel, I will try to organize the dialogue between Chizuru and Kazuya.
BECAUSE... I CAN'T... I SHOULDN'T... FALL IN LOVE WITH A CLIENT...
It seems that many overseas fans misunderstand Chizuru's feelings as portrayed here (and conveyed by the author), so let me clarify. It does not literally mean "I cannot and should not fall in love with my customer Kazuya. Rather, the opposite. It means, "I have fallen in love with my customer Kazuya."
Let's look at the flow of Chizuru's feelings.
◆Chizuru swims so fast that she is out of breath. (231)
After finishing her conversation with Kazuya, Chizuru goes to the pool alone and swims so fast that she is out of breath. This is a way of saying that she is trying not to think about it by moving her body to turn away from the embarrassment of kissing Kazuya and the pressure of having to reveal her true feelings to him.
While swimming, she can still be fine, but when she gets out of the pool, she remembers her kiss with Kazuya again and kisses her own knee. Her heart is filled with embarrassment. Then she remembers Grandma Sayuri's words.
◆Chizuru remembers her kiss with Kazuya again (231)
A MOMENT WHEN LOVE WAKES ROOT. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?
IT'S WHEN TALKING ABOUT THAT PERSON FILLS YOU WITH LAUGHTER AND JOY.
It hits the bull's-eye. Chizuru was already in love with Kazuya and she loved him when Grandma Sayuri said this to her (Chapter 143). Later, her feelings has grown even greater as Kazuya accepted her sadness and loneliness at the loss of Sayuri. She realized that he was the one who could support her (Chapters 164-166). And here in Hawaiians, she felt she had to confide her true feelings to Kazuya and become his true girlfriend ([ch 226] The Kiss to Become His Real Lover). So she remembers that her love and affection for Kazuya was seen through (or pointed out by Grandma Sayuri in her mind), and she becomes even more embarrassed.
That is why Chizuru tries to hide this true feeling by giving some reason for it.
◆BECAUSE... I CAN'T... I SHOULDN'T... FALL IN LOVE WITH A CLIENT... (231)
COME ON. IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT.
... DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
BECAUSE... I CAN'T... I SHOULDN'T... FALL IN LOVE WITH A CLIENT...
Because you are really in love with him, you are embarrassed and try to hide it. This is a very typical Japanese tsundere move. This line does not mean that Chizuru has no intention of falling in love with Kazuya, but rather that she is really in love with him and tries to hide it. So it expresses that she is really in love with him by her action of denying her love for him.
Naturally, no matter how many lame excuses Chizuru makes, Grandma Sayuri, who has been watching her since she was little, can see through her true feelings. She would say, "What are you trying to be so tough, Chizuru, you're not being honest.," and just laugh at her. Chizuru can easily imagine that, so she replies to Grandma Sayuri in heaven, "What are you laughing at? (Don't laugh at me)"
In case you are wondering, let me also clarify this. Chizuru is saying, "I can't fall in love with a customer," but it's not like that she really think that's why she shouldn't fall in love with or go out with Kazuya. Please don't misunderstand that part. She is just trying to hide her true feelings by giving a logic that is convenient for her. She is just inventing a convenient logic to hide her embarrassment.
If Chizuru really thought that a rental girlfriend should not fall in love with her customer, she would not have tried to confirm Kazuya's true feelings for her by saying "Do you have feelings for me" (Chapter 171), followed her to the Hawaiians (Chapter 186), or kissed Kazuya, her customer (Chapter 226). As a rental girlfriend, she should not have fallen in love with a customer, which should have put the brakes on her. In the first place, she should not have tried to continue her relationship with Kazuya by breaking many of the terms of service. Chizuru also says that having a girlfriend is not a bad thing, and that if she ever found someone she loved, she would quit her job as a rental girlfriend and want to be with him (be by his side) forever (Chapter 179). So she is willing to stop working as a rental girlfriend in order to become Kazuya's real girlfriend.
Therefore, it does not mean that she cannot be his girlfriend because she is wrong as a rental girlfriend or that she cannot make a decision to be his girlfriend because she wants to continue her rental girlfriend job. Rather, she is just trying to hide her true feelings by inventing a convenient logic.
The biggest obstacle that essentially prevents Chizuru from becoming Kazuya's girlfriend is that she immediately tries to hide her true feelings like this. In order to become Kazuya's true girlfriend, she must tell him that she loves him and wants to go out with him. Because she can't do that, Chizuru can't become Kazuya's girlfriend, and that's why she has been running away from his confession so far ([ch 190] I Love Kazuya, So I Can't Be His Lover). Now that she is acutely aware that she must become Kazuya's girlfriend, Chizuru must be suffering under the weight of that pressure.
Chizuru's "I Love You" Explained in a Line for the First Time
This is the first time that Chizuru's love for Kazuya is directly explained in a clear line. Just because Chizuru said it in words does not mean that this was the first time she admitted or became aware of her love for Kazuya. It is one thing for Chizuru to express her true feelings in words, and quite another for her to become aware of her love for Kazuya. Chizuru became aware of her love much earlier, at their joint birthday party (Chapter 86) (The Paradigm Shift that Happened to Chizuru).
Until now, Chizuru's love for Kazuya has not been explained by lines. However, this does not mean that Chizuru was not aware of her love or that her feelings were not described. Chizuru's feelings have been clearly depicted in "situations" and "actions" ([Commentary] Chizuru Mizuhara Doesn't Speak Her Heart: "I Like You" Between ｔhe Situation and Her Action!)
For example, consider Chizuru's feelings after Kazuya saves her from the sea in volume 3.
First, let me organize Chizuru's situation (including her relationship with Kazuya).
Chizuru has just met Kazuya, a customer, as a rental girlfriend. For Chizuru, who loves her job as a "cheerleader for love," Kazuya, who is trying to recover from a broken heart, is the kind of customer whom she would like to rent herself to again. But she doesn't know what kind of person Kazuya is yet, so it's not like that she trusts him.
Unluckily, Grandma Sayuri almost finds out about the "rental girlfriend" job, and she lies to her about Kazuya being her real boyfriend. Kazuya and she promised to tell their grandmas (Nagomi and Sayuri) that they had broken up. Even here at the beach, she praised Kazuya for telling everyone around him that he was thinking of breaking up with her, saying that he had a manly side to him.
Let's see what Chizuru did. When Kazuya risked his life to save her from the sea.
I told you I''m your rental girlfriend!
Saying so, Chizuru regrets that she put Kazuya's life, just a customer, in danger. At that moment, this phrase crossed Chizuru's mind.
◆I TOLD YOU, I'M A RENTAL GIRLFRIEND! (15)
HE'S NOT A BAD PERSON,Y'KNOW.
I'M SURE HE'LL MALE YOU HAPPY IN THE END.
HOW CAN I BE ANGRY, AT A GIRL WHO LIKES MY GRANDSON?
Kazuya risked his life to save Chizuru. Chizuru thought that Kazuya must be a "good guy" as Kibe-kun said. Also, her feeling of not wanting to make Grandma Wa sad for him moved her. In addition, she owed him a debt of gratitude for his rescue.
So afterwards, when Kazuya said to her, "Well, thanks for that... for going that far and saving me...!," Chizuru takes this action!
◆OF COURSE, I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND, AFTER ALL. (15)
OF COURSE, I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND, AFTER ALL.
It is a "girlfriend declaration".
She promised to tell their grandmas and Kazuya's friends that she had broken up with him, but in front of his friends, she did declare herself his girlfriend!
The feelings there are:
I will continue my false lover relationship with Kazuya.
To be more precise:
I want to help Kazuya as a rental girlfriend.
So Chizuru wanted to help Kazuya (and also she didn't want to make Grandma Nagomi sad), so she withheld her choice to break up with him. She felt that she wanted to continue to help Kazuya, so afterwards, when Kazuya said, "I want to rent you," she said, "Sure," and "Don't worry, I won't leave you alone as long as I'm still your girlfriend." She even promised Kazuya that she would continue to be his false lover until he had a real girlfriend (Chapter 20).
Chizuru doesn't put her true feelings into words. But Chizuru's feelings are clearly depicted by her "actions" (including saying the words).
This is the expression of "feelings" between "situations" and "actions"!
(For a detailed explanation, click here [Commentary] Chizuru Mizuhara Doesn't Speak Her Heart: "I Like You" Between ｔhe Situation and Her Action!)
Even her decision to come to the Hawaiians is almost like saying she loves Kazuya very much.
◆NO... IT'S NOTHING. (186)
As a rental girlfriend, you should never go on an overnight trip with a client. At one point, she winks and tells Kazuya to refuse it. But in the end, she makes the decision to go along on the trip.
If Chizuru were to tell Grandma Nagomi here that she cannot join the trip, only Ruka and Kazuya would be able to join. Ruka would be very happy to be by Kazuya's side, and Grandma Nagomi would love her. Chizuru will be left alone.
Chizuru doesn't like that, so she decides to go along on the trip even though she really should have refused.
I want to have a good time as Kazuya's girlfriend.
I don't want to see Kazuya getting along with Ruka.
Being with Kazuya is more important than being right as a rental girlfriend.
Chizuru was so happy to know that Kazuya had always loved her (Chapter 174). Even if she did the wrong thing as a rental girlfriend, she didn't want to see Kazuya and Ruka having a good time, and she wanted to enjoy the family trip as his girlfriend.
If you can properly sort out Chizuru's situation and capture what she wanted to do with her actions (her purpose), you can get a rough idea of her feelings. In fact, I think this is a more accurate way of expressing feelings than words (lines) that can be lied about as much as possible.
She even arrives on an overnight trip and spends a pleasant time with Kazuya as his girlfriend (Chapter 186). She asks him for his opinion of her swimsuit because she wants him to praise the swimsuit she chose for Kazuya (and to tell her she's cute). She promises to talk to Harumi if anything happens to her, and gives him a ring as a gift (Chapter 206). She even kisses him to protect her lie (Chapter 226). Well, from my point of view, Chizuru doesn't say that she loves Kazuya in words, and she tries to keep her true feelings from being revealed in front of Kazuya, but she can't stop herself from loving him, and she does whatever she wants to do, ignoring the terms of service (the rightness as a rental girlfriend).
However, I have a feeling that the author has some intention in explaining Chizuru's feelings here with a simple line so that everyone can understand. Even if the lines are vague or silent, as they always are, the scene doesn't contradict Chizuru's feelings. Until now, Chizuru has always said "baka" in these situations, lol. I imagine that at this point in time, after the Paradise Arc is over, Miyajima-san decided that he should give a clear answer to the reader's question, "Is Chizuru in love with Kazuya?"
If so, Miyajima-san may want future stories to be read as a drama of two people who love each other and overcome their surechigai (misunderstanding) to become lovers. To me, It looked like Miyajima-sensei's declaration, "Kazuya and Chizuru will become lovers, so stay tuned!".
Dialogue Between Chizuru and Kazuya
Chizuru was able to do what she needed to do now, although she still could not show her true feelings in her dialogue with Kazuya. That was good. I felt relieved. There are three things Chizuru wanted to do.
(I) To cover up her true feelings when she kissed Kazuya (so that he would not know her true feelings).
(II) To apologize for causing a situation where only Kazuya could be held responsible.
(iii) To continue the false lover relationship with Kazuya.
(I) To cover up her true feelings when she kissed Kazuya (so that he would not know her true feelings).
It's like she has carefully made an acting plan to hide her love for Kazuya. lol. That kiss was no big deal, I didn't feel anything special when I kissed you. I thought it would make less waves if we "broke up" rather than have our lies exposed. So I kissed you (and lied to them that I'm your real girlfriend). We had no choice but to do that.
That's how Chizuru wants him to think.
◆IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WAS OUR FIRST TIME, RIGHT? (231)
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WAS OUR FIRST TIME, RIGHT?
THAT'S TWICE NOW, ISN'T IT?
AND IT'S TOO LATE TO TALK ABOUT BREAKING THE TERMS OF SERVICE.
GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, IT WAS OUR ONLY OPTION.
◆BUT IT IS TRUE THAT IT'S BEST WE END THIS BY. "BREAKING UP." (231)
FRANKLY IT'S NOT REALLY COOL...
THAT WE'RE STILL MAKINGEXCUSES EVEN NOW...
BUT IT IS TRUE THAT IT'S BEST WE END THIS BY. "BREAKING UP."
WE CAN'T DO THAT RIGHT AWAY, BUT... WITH AN INCIDENT LIKE THIS, IT DOES SOUND MORE CREDIBLE.
Chizuru, with a cold look on her face, lays out one logic after another. Without giving him a chance to discuss it, she forcefully proceeds with her story lol.
The truth is that she kissed Kazuya because she regretted running away from his confession and felt she had to become Kazuya's true girlfriend, and at the time she was embarrassed to kiss the person she loved ([ch 226] The Kiss to Become His Real Lover). But Chizuru doesn't want Kazuya to know how she really feels, so she acts in a way that makes Kazuya think that that kiss was no big deal to her.
This causes Kazuya to misunderstand that he was the only one who was excited by the kiss. Ah, she's such a pain in the ass.
(II) To apologize for causing a situation where only Kazuya could be held responsible.
However, not everything is an act to hide her true feelings. Chizuru goes on to explain.
◆思っちゃったのよ 貴方だけのせいだなんて 冗談じゃないって 231話
I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS. THIS IS MY PROBLEM.
I COULDN'T HELP BUT THINK, YOU KNOW.
IT'S RIDICULOUS TO SAY... THAT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
I could not make you a liar because I was the one responsible for asking you to let us continue our false lover relationship. That is why I even kissed you. If the lie is exposed and everything becomes your responsibility, that would be wrong.
Chizuru was finally able to tell Kazuya that it was her responsibility. She really feels sorry for Kazuya and must feel very responsible for what she has done.
Sayuri Just before Grandma passed away, Kazuya told her many times, "We have to tell her we broke up" and "We're gonna confide in her that it was a lie. When a client says that to you, Chizuru, as a rental girlfriend, has to accept it. However, because she did not want to make Grandma Sayuri sad and did not want to lose her false lover relationship (rental relationship) with Kazuya, she asked him to let her continue this false relationship (chapters 91 and 148). So she has been quite selfish in taking advantage of his kindness.
Also, if Chizuru had not run away from Kazuya's confession, they would already be true lovers. She would not have been threatened by Mami here in Hawaiians, nor would the lies they have been continuing have been exposed. Chizuru regrets that she had run away from his confession (Chapter 223).
If Chizuru had done nothing at that time and they had found out about Kazuya's repeated lies, he would have been ragged on by Kibe-kun and Kazu-san afterwards. If that were to happen, it would be all Chizuru's fault. If Chizuru had made a wrong move, she would have made Kazuya a "lousy liar" by her own fault. Seriously, it's your fault, Chizuru. You should reflect on what you did. I want to praise Chizuru because she was able to tell him that it was her responsibility.
(iii) To continue the false lover relationship with Kazuya.
And what Chizuru has to do now is not to lose the false lover relationship. If Kazuya says that they have broken up, it will make Grandma Nagomi sad, and it will also make the Kinoshita family's impression of her worse. If she can, she would not want him to told his family and friends that they have broken up, and would probably want to turn the lie into the truth as it is.
◆PREPARE YOURSELF. I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO INTO WHITE KNIGHT MODE... AND JUST SHUTALL OF THIS DOWN YOURSELF. (231)
PREPARE YOURSELF.
I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO INTO WHITE KNIGHT MODE...
AND JUST SHUT ALL OF THIS DOWN YOURSELF.
She reminds him not to "breaking up" with her on his own because it is her responsibility to keep the false lover relationship going. The promise between them is that Chizuru will play Kazuya's girlfriend until he has a real girlfriend (Chapter 20). So Chizuru is saying to him that she intends to fulfill that promise, so she doesn't want him to tell everyone that she broke up with him without her permission.
Since Chizuru is a rental girlfriend, she should normally confirm the customer's intention before deciding what to do, right? But she does not let Kazuya say anything. She has successfully guided him with one reason after another, lol. Now the risk of Kazuya saying he broke up with her on his own is smaller.
It seems that she has started to face becoming Kazuya's girlfriend, but she is not at all ready to reveal her true feelings yet. Still, Chizuru was able to tell Kazuya that it was her responsibility, so his guilt toward Chizuru has probably become somewhat smaller. Furthermore, they had promised to pretend to have broken up when they returned to Tokyo (Chapter 219), but she successfully coaxed him into continuing their false relationship. She did what she had to do.
After returning to Tokyo, she will definitely have to serve as Kazuya's girlfriend. Even I can easily come up with a story, such as the Kinoshita family hosting events involving Chizuru, such as Christmas and New Year's, or finding out that they are dating on campus. However, since Chizuru clearly told Kazuya that it was her problem, she probably doesn't intend to get any more money from him. Kazuya, who thinks he was rejected by her, should not be able to rent uselessly for entertainment purposes either. As Kazuya declared, his renkano (rental girlfriend) life is over.
The Epitome of Their Surechigai
The dialogue between Kazuya and Chizuru this time seemed to me to be nothing more than the epitome of the "surechigai" between the two that have continued to be depicted until now, lol.
NOTE: "すれ違い surechigai (passing each other)" is when two things that are trying to get closer to each other pass each other by without meeting. In a love story, it means that although you really love each other, you can't become lovers (or your relationship falls apart) because you don't realize your feelings for each other or you misunderstand each other. In Japanese romance stories, this kind of misunderstanding is an important element that makes the story more exciting, and viewers feel both thrilled and frustrated when they see the two people approaching and leaving each other.
Chizuru does not reveal her true feelings about her love life (Kazuya). This is because she is not very good at showing her true feelings. Chizuru is depicted as a girl who is not good at showing her weaknesses (Chapter 58), and likewise, she refuses to show her love for Kazuya. Even though she really wants to be with Kazuya and be close to him, she has a hard time expressing her true feelings. So she always tries to be there for Kazuya with some reason, such as "I will help you as a rental girlfriend," "You are right to do this," "I have to do this," and so on. She's hiding her true feelings with right logic. She cannot ask Kazuya, "I want to be with you, so let me be with you." ([Introduction] Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story) .
◆IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WAS OUR FIRST TIME, RIGHT? (231)
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WAS OUR FIRST TIME, RIGHT?
THAT'S TWICE NOW, ISN'T IT?
AND IT'S TOO LATE TO TALK ABOUT BREAKING THE TERMS OF SERVICE.
GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, IT WAS OUR ONLY OPTION.
Again, Chizuru is unable to show her love for Kazuya and explains everything in a logical manner. Hearing this, Kazuya mistakenly believes that Mizuhara is just being nice to him, that she doesn't have any feelings for him, and that he was the only one who was excited by that kiss on his own. The truth is that Chizuru also really loves Kazuya, was nervous and embarrassed by the kiss, and now thinks she needs to become his real girlfriend, but her true feelings are not conveyed to him at all.
◆AAAAA! BUT SERIOUSLY! SHE WAS TREATING THAT KISS LIKE NO BIG DEAL! (231)
AAAAA! BUT SERIOUSLY! SHE WAS TREATING THAT KISS LIKE NO BIG DEAL!
◆WHICH MEANS SHE ACKNOWLEDGES THAT HER ACTIONS WERE OUT OF LINE PROFESSIONALLY... (231)
WHICH MEANS SHE ACKNOWLEDGES THAT HER ACTIONS WERE OUT OF LINE PROFESSIONALLY...
... BUT NOTHING MORE, AND NOTHING LESS...
Poor Kazuya. And yet, behind the scenes, Chizuru is blushing out of embarrassment, remembering her kiss with Kazuya. The very epitome of their surechigai. She is a real pain in the ass, this girl lol.
So far, Chizuru has rarely shown her feelings of "I like/love you" towards Kazuya. At most, the only time she has shown her goodwill is "You're a nice person (Chapter 112)" and "I've never regretted meeting you (Chapter 131)". When her feelings of love are about to be revealed, she tries her best to hide them. A typical tsundere would try to give Valentine's Day chocolates (in Japan, women usually give chocolates to men) to someone she likes, try to be with him, and properly tell him she likes him, even though she is tsuntsun, but Chizuru is really unable to do that. All she does is make excuses and logics with an uninterested attitude. A super-duper tsundere. An ironclad girl.
If Chizuru can't get over her embarrassment and confusion and reveal to Kazuya that she loves him, she can never become his true girlfriend. How she overcomes that would be the highlight of the manga.
So that's how I looked back at chapter 231. "Paradise and Girlfriends" (Paradise Arc) ends here. They are going back to Tokyo and Mini and Sumi will be back next week. When Mini-chan hears about their kiss, she will immediately go to Chizuru to interrogate him. No doubt about it lol. I wonder if we will see a conversation (chapter 122) like the one when they were looking for crowdfunding returns. Chizuru is going to make the same excuses as she told Kazuya this time about the kiss, but even if she can fool Kazuya, Mini-chan won't back down lol. I can picture Mini-chan will hit the bull's eye with her guess about Chizuru's feelings, but she still won't be honest and will troubled..............................go for it, Chizuru (my delusion).
See you in the next article!