Volumes 13-18 Part I, Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story Chapter 4
Volumes 13-18 How Chizuru views Kazuya
❤Trust, 100%: Someone she respects, appreciates and trusts.
For Chizuru, her dream of showing her grandma that she was in a movie was something she wanted to achieve at any cost. She is very grateful to Kazuya for working hard to make her dream come true through crowdfunding, and for actually making it come true. It was truly a dream for both of them, made possible by Chizuru's desire and Kazuya's support. Kazuya at that time sometimes looks dependable. Even if people say he is an idiot, a bum, or a moron, his life is still wonderful. Chizuru comes to deeply respect and trust Kazuya.
❤ Attraction, 100%: She wants to be his "real girlfriend" but...
Chizuru has tried not to divulge her true feelings. However, her love for Kazuya grows to the point that she cannot hide it. She gets embarrassed that she's by the person she's in love with (Kazuya) and jealous over trivial things. On the shooting trips when they were alone together, she even panicked. As they spend time as partners in the movie production, Chizuru becomes more and more attracted to Kazuya. Grandma Sayuri celebrates their relationship, and Chizuru wishes to become Kazuya's real lover. However, she cannot believe that Kazuya will fall in love with her, and she is distressed.
Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story
■ [Introduction] Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story
■ Volumes 7-12 Part I, Chapter 2
■ Volumes 7-12 Part II, Chapter 3
■ Volumes 13-18 Part I, Chapter 4
■ Volumes 13-18 Part II, Chapter 5
■Someone who Will Truly Make Me Happy
Volumes 13-18 Highlights and Commentary
Chizuru Can No Longer Hide her Love
◆IF YOU'RE ALREADY FLIRTING THIS MUCH WHY DON'T YA JUST GO OUT ALREADY? (106)
Chizuru realizes that she is in love with Kazuya (Chapter 86: The Paradigm Shift that Happened to Chizuru). Combined with the fact that Kazuya has kept her dream alive, her infatuation grows to the point that she cannot hide it.
IF YOU'RE ALREADY FLIRTING THIS MUCH
WHY DON'T YA JUST GO OUT ALREADY?
While discussing crowdfunding with Kazuya, a resident (Yaemori) who lives next door to Kazuya teases her by saying, "WHY DON'T YA JUST GO OUT ALREADY?, " which makes her embarrassed. The previous Chizuru would have calmly ignored the comment, but now that she is aware of her love, she cannot help but feel embarrassed that she has been seen as a lover with him. She blushes and involuntarily puts her face down.
◆DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA. (107)
DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA.
WE'RE NOT FLIRTING HERE, OKAY!
I'M ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE MY MOVIE!
DON''T GET ANY WEIRD IDEAS!
They decide to discuss it in Kazuya's room because it would be a nuisance to others. Alone time with Kazuya. She really wants to be Kazuya's girlfriend, but because she really wants to, she is extremely reluctant to have it exposed out of embarrassment. So she reminds Kazuya that she has no intention of making out with him and takes an offensive attitude (a tsun attitude).
My Dream will Come True
◆My dream will come true. (107)
Kazuya seemed unreliable at first, but the truth is that he's steadily prepared for the crowdfunding. This surprised Chizuru! She realizes that her dream, which she had almost given up on, is now running toward realization.
◆Chizuru is nervous about being alone with Kazuya. (107)
She has never been this close to Kazuya in private before. When Kazuya's body comes close to hers, she becomes so conscious of it. Maybe because her confusion was about to show on her face, or maybe because she was afraid that her feelings of love would be revealed, she could not make eye contact with Kazuya when he asked, "SOMETHING WRONG?"
◆Kazuya used to be so unreliable and always relied on Chizuru, but... (108)
Chizuru was planning to attend the movie without remuneration, but Kazuya does not seem to intend to do so.
I'M OFFERING A ROLE TO THE ACTRESS ''MIZUHARA
SO IT WON'T BE GOOD... IF WE HALF ASS THIS
Kazuya used to be so unreliable and always relied on Chizuru, but now he is very dependable. He was changing because of being with her. She realizes that growth. I am sure she was happy that she was rewarded as a rental girlfriend and that Kazuya is now reliable. At the same time, she may have also realized that she had become important to Kazuya over time, even though he had always caused trouble for her (even though she wasn't important to him) when they first met.
Growing Jealousy
◆Homemade omu-race (109)
Kazuya is working hard to make the crowdfunding a success. It seems that he is so absorbed in his work that he is not eating properly. She gives him the reason the she's in trouble if he falls ill, and serves him homemade omu-rice.
Tell me, Chizuru. Why do you serve him homemade food when you can just buy some meals at a convenience store or grocery store? Lol.
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
THERE'S NO DEEP MEANING BEHIND THIS.
I FYOU COLLAPSE DUE TO MALNUTRITION, I'LL FEEL RESPONSIBLE.
She says "DON'T GET ME WRONG" and gives him a plausible reason, but of course the truth ith that she wants him to say it tastes good, to be happy, and to think she is cute.
◆WHAT DO YOU THINK? (109)
Kazuya is crazy about eating her homemade omu-rice. Chizuru's frustration leaks out when he doesn't say anything.
HEY. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
She wanted Kazuya to tell her how delicious it was. She gives all kinds of reasons why it wasn't "perfect," like it would have been better with whipped cream, or it's a shortcut recipe. I want you to praise me because I can make it even better, and because I was able to make it this well with the ingredients I had on hand and in a short amount of time. She is overflowing with such feelings. She's so Kawaii lol.
I'm glad Kazuya said it was delicious, Chizuru. LOl.
The meeting is over, and on the way home, Kazuya's trial girlfriend Ruka visits his room. When she found out that she went into Kazuya's room and made homemade omu-rice, a big commotion broke out! Ruka suspects that Chizuru and Kazuya are really dating and cries a lot.
◆?! CURRY... 13巻111話
In order to settle the matter, she told Ruka that she had done too much, and so from now on, Homemade cooking is off-limits. In the end, Ruka joins the movie production! Ruka takes away her alone time with Kazuya. Then Ruka?
BETWEEN CHIZURU-SAN'S OMURICE AND MU CURRY.
WHICH TASTES BETTER?
?! CURRY...
In fact, unbeknownst to Chizuru, Ruka had made curry for Kazuya. Chizuru is puzzled when she finds out it.
◆CU-CURRY... PROBABLY... HAHA... (111)
To be allowed to make a movie, Kazuya answers that it is Ruka's curry. Ruka happily gives Kazuya a hug. Although she knows he has no choice, she really wanted him to answer that it was her omu-rice.
◆WHAT ABOUT YOU RUKA-CHAN? WHEN ARE YOU GOING HOME? (111)
When the discussion is over and Chizuru goes back to her room, she asks Ruka, "WHAT ABOUT YOU RUKA-CHAN? WHEN ARE YOU GOING HOME?" and urges her to go home. However, Ruka does not want to leave. Chizuru's frustration rises in her chest. Unintentionally, she sarcastically tells Ruka, "I SEE, PRETTY LOVEY DOVEY"and the vibe is tense.
◆FUUUU... (111)
On the other side of the door, Ruka and Kazuya are talking happily. As she listens to their conversation, her frustration with Kazuya, who didn't answer that it was her omu-rice, leaks out.
FUUUU....
Ruka is Kazuya's real girlfriend, even if it is just a trial. Unlike herself, who is a rental girlfriend, she can go see him when she wants to. Unlike herself, who cannot be honest, she can honestly tell him how much she likes him.
I don't like that Kazuya is getting along with Ruka. I envy her.
She can't show this kind of expression to Kazuya.
BUT I DON'T THINK THERE EXISTS A PERSON WHO IS BETTER SUITED TO YOU THAN HIM
When Chizuru's dream was about to be interrupted, Kazuya rushed in again (Chapter 103). In Chizuru's eyes, he must have seemed like a truly wonderful person. But their relationship is a lie.
She was supposed to be in the rental girlfriend/client relationship with Kazuya, but she fell in love with him on her own. There is no guarantee anywhere that Kazuya will fall in love with her. Rather, after Christmas, Kazuya told her, "I'm not in love with you" (Chapter 32), and when Grandma Sayuri collapsed, he told her, "We're not going out, right?" (Chapter 91). To Kazuya, Chizuru is just a rental girlfriend, not a lover.
This is Chizuru's first time in love. Chizuru must have been very anxious. She may have been wondering if she should go ahead to this love that started from a lie and she did not know if it would come true.
◆THE TIME... I TOLD YOU I HAD A BOYFRIEND... WHAT DID YOU THINK... GRANDMA...? (112)
On this day, Chizuru visits the hospital and asks Grandma Sayuri, whom she trusts more than anyone else in the world.
THE TIME... I TOLD YOU I HAD A BOYFRIEND... WHAT DID YOU THINK... GRANDMA...?
◆SO I WAS WORRIED ABOUT WHETHER YOU HAD BROUGHT A DECENT GUY... (112)
Chizuru nervously waits for a reply.
◆BUT I DON'T THINK THERE EXISTS A PERSON WHO IS BETTER SUITED TO YOU THAN HIM. (112)
EVERYONE SURVIVES BY SUPPORTING EACH OTHER.
A 'PERFECT PERSON' DOESN'T EXIST.
THAT'S WHY, WHEN YOU LACK SOMETHING,
YOU MAKE UP FOR IT WITH THE HELP OF ANOTHER PERSON.
BUT I DON'T THINK THERE EXISTS A PERSON WHO IS BETTER SUITED TO YOU THAN HIM.
No one is perfect, and that is why we need someone to fill in for us what we lack. That's what Grandma Sayuri say. She told Chizuru that she needs Kazuya. In this way, Grandma Sayuri celebrated their relationship.
Grandma Sayuri, who has been watching Chizuru since she was a little girl, must have realized her love long before Chizuru herself did. She also knows that Chizuru's feelings are genuine. That is why she responded so earnestly and celebrated their love.
How much courage these words must have given Chizuru! How relieved she must have felt! At this moment, with the celebration by her favorite grandma, Chizuru's mind must have been made up.
It is okay to believe in this love.
I want to be Kazuya's true lover.
By this time, Chizuru has already realized her true feelings that she really wants Kazuya. She hopes that one day she will leave behind the rental girlfriend/client relationship between Kazuya and herself and begin a real lover relationship with him.
◆YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON. I MEAN IT. YOU ARE A VERY GOOD PERSON! (112)
YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON.
I MEAN IT. YOU ARE A VERY GOOD PERSON!
The time left for Grandma Sayuri is not long. She expresses her gratitude and goodwill to Kazuya, who gave her grandma a wonderful time, even though he is now her false boyfriend.
Thank you for always running to me when I was going through a tough time.
Thank you for being there for me.
Thank you for suggesting making a movie for me.
Thank you for setting up and preparing the crowdfunding.
My grandma agreed that you're a wonderful person.
I love you for that.
Chizuru must have been happy that her favorite grandma recognized Kazuya as someone she needed. She is also full of gratitude to Kazuya. Although she cannot put "I love you" into words yet, she was able to convey it in the best words she could.
THAT'S WHY NOW I FEEL IT'S MY TURN TO DO SOMETHING... FOR HER SAKE!
Meeting with the movie director today.
HUH? DIDN'T HE TELL YOU ANYTHING?
ABOUT HOW HE PERSUADED ME INTO HELPING YOU.
Chizuru hears from the director, Tabuse, that Kazuya has been working very hard to enlist the cooperation of the movie study group (the movie production group at Nerima University).
She then learns his true intentions.
◆THAT'S WHY NOW I FEEL IT'S MY TURN TO DO SOMETHING... FOR HER SAKE! (117)
SHE HELPED ME A LOT AT A TIME WHEN I WAS FEELING REALLY DOWN.
JUST HER BEING BY MY SIDE MADE ME WANT TO TRY HARDER AND KEEP ON GOING.
THAT'S WHY NOW I FEEL IT'S MY TURN TO DO SOMETHING... FOR HER SAKE!
Chizuru had previously thought that Kazuya was helping her with her dream because he wanted to support the actress Chizuru Ichinose. She had also heard from him that it was his own dream and that he was doing it because he wanted to.
But in truth, that was not the only reason. Kazuya thought the time was precious when she spend with him as a rental girlfriend during the one year since she met him and until he recovered from his broken heart.
Chizuru only did help him just because she wanted to so as a rental girlfriend. Rather, it was Chizuru who was helped by having him rent her. The false lover relationship, the incident at the beach, and Christmas were all fun times.
It was Chizuru who was encouraged. He was always there to cheer her up when she was having a hard time. He never gave up on her dream. He gave her the strength to dream. Today, he is again helping her to achieve her own dreams.
◆ALRIGHT! NEXT TIME, I'LL BE THE ONE GIVING IT MY ALL! (117)
ALRIGHT! NEXT TIME, I'LL BE THE ONE GIVING IT MY ALL!
Chizuru once again reminds herself that she has to complete their movie!
He Likes you as a Woman!
◆HE LIKES YOU AS A WOMAN! (122)
IT'S MORE THAN THAT!
HE LIKES YOU AS A WOMAN!
The "PLAN 203" started running with the goal of a successful crowdfunding campaign. While searching for return gifts, she and Yaemori get into a conversation about boyfriends and she receives an unexpected confession. Chizuru tries to hide her upset by scrunching up her expression.
◆An agreement (a contract) without romantic feelings. (122)
YOU'RE WRONG.
I'D ALREADY ASKED HIM WHETHER HE LIKED ME OR NOT.
AND I SAID THAT, IT'D BE A DIFFERENT STORY.
HE DIDN'T MINCE WORDS.
"I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOU YOU."
Chizuru explains that Kazuya told her "I'm not in love with you" and that her relationship with him is an "agreement" (a contract) without any romantic feelings. All the support Kazuya has given her so far is simply because he adores her as an actress, and that is not the same as "being in love" with her.
Chizuru tries to hide it because she is truly in love with Kazuya and does not want to show it. By denying the possibility of becoming lovers with Kazuya, she is avoiding revealing her true feelings. Still, she didn't say, "I have no intention of going out with him" or "I don't have feelings for him" perhaps because she was afraid that Kazuya would learn that she said that she wouldn't fall in love with him. If that happened, Kazuya would no longer see her as a potential girlfriend.
However, what she told Yaemori was not a lie mended to hide her true feelings, but the reality that she is facing.
After Christmas, Kazuya told her "I'm not in love with you" (Chapter 32), and when Grandma Sayuri collapsed, he also told her "We're not going out, right?" (Chapter 91). To Kazuya, Chizuru is just a rental girlfriend, not a lover or a potential lover.
◆FIRST OFF, GETTING SERIOUS ABOUT A RENTAL GIRLFRIEND? HE'S NOT THAT STUPID. (122)
FIRST OFF, GETTING SERIOUS ABOUT A RENTAL GIRLFRIEND?
HE'S NOT THAT STUPID.
Chizuru looks lonely and denies the possibility that Kazuya is in love with her. I really want him to like me. But I'm sure he doesn't like me or anything. What he needs is myself as a rental girlfriend. He's going to find a real girlfriend, and then I'm not the one who will be chosen. That is what Chizuru believes.
Then Yaemori!
◆YOU REALLY THINK A SINGLE ONE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS... WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YOUR REAL BOYFRIEND?! (122)
MIZUHARA-SAN... YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
YOU REALLY THINK IT'S JUST THAT EASY?
PAY SOME CASH, GO ON A DATE, AND THEN END IT WITH "SEE YA!"?
YOU REALLY THINK EVERYONE'S OKAY WITH THAT?
DO YOU THINK THEY JUST GO "YUP, FINE BY ME!"?!
YOU REALLY THINK A SINGLE ONE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS... WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YOUR REAL BOYFRIEND?!
◆AND I BET ONE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS OUT THERE... COULD GIVE YOU A WHOLE LIFETIME OF HAPPINESS! (122)
IT'S NOT STUPID! IT'S NOT STUPID AT ALL!
AND I BET ONE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS OUT THERE...
COULD GIVE YOU A WHOLE LIFETIME OF HAPPINESS!
She scolds Chizuru, saying that people are not that simple to be convinced by such an agreement, that even customers can fall in love with rental girlfriends, and that one of her customers might be the person who makes her truly happy!
Chizuru escapes from Yaemori's insistence by using logic such as "terms of use" and "absence of the person in question," but she is upset when confronted with the possibility that Kazuya is in love with her.
Later, Kazuya spoke to her in front of her room.
Kazuya likes me!?
Embarrassed, Chizuru immediately runs away to her room.
◆UGH... COME ON... (122)
Behind the door, holding the ring she received from Kazuya's grandma, Chizuru is troubled. Her relationship with the Kinoshita family has grown deeper and deeper, as Kazuya's parents and Grandma Nagomi took good care of her and she even received the ring. However, her relationship with him is just a lie. He has no intention of turning this lie into the truth.
I just fell in love with him on my own.
He will never fall in love with me.
Chizuru hides her true desire to be Kazuya's true lover while pretending in front of him that she has no such intention. And as a rental girlfriend, she has to support Kazuya in his love with someone who is not her.
A Story About Surechigai: Rent A Girlfriend
The fact that the rental girlfriend/client relationship between Chizuru and Kazuya is an "agreement" without romantic feelings is the most important point in the story of "Kanojo, Okarishimasu". Like Kazuya, Chizuru is also unable to realize her client Kazuya's feelings for her. It is truly a "すれ違い surechigai".
NOTE: すれ違い (surechigai) originally "means" to pass each other by. In Japanese love stories, there are often stories of two people who love each other but are unable to become lovers because they are unaware of their feelings for each other. For various reasons, they are unable to say what they really feel to the person they love, and they are unable to ask him/her what he/she really feels. The reader enjoys watching them overcome surechigai.
Kanokari is not a story about Kazuya and Chizuru going out if they fall in love. The fundamental story differs from romantic comedies that show them going out and making out as soon as they fall in love each other, or from romantic comedies that make you think who will win. It is a story of the two who really love each other but are unaware of their feelings for each other and still wish to be lovers. It is a story about the two who try to overcome the "surechigai" that arise from their rental relationship by their own strength.
Kazuya is unable to confess to Chizuru (unable to tell her that he's really in love with her) due to the terms of service and the agreement with her. This is because he knows that if he does so, he will never be allowed to rent her again. He thinks that she will think that he said he was doing it for his grandma, but really he was doing it for ulterior motives, and that she will criticize him and even hate him. Furthermore, if he cannot rent Chizuru, he will have to tell his family that he and she have broken up. So all along, he pretends that he has no intention of really dating her in front of her so that his true feelings will not be revealed.
Chizuru, on the other hand, thinks that there is no way Kazuya could ever fall in love with her because of the terms of service and the agreement she has with him. Furthermore, the day after Christmas, when he told her that he was not in love with her and she as well told him that she had no intention of falling in love with him (Chapter 32), and when he told her that they were not dating (Chapter 90), this causes her to misunderstand his true feelings. As a rental girlfriend, Chizuru is in a position to support his love, and she can't reveal her true feelings to him until she realizes that it is she who he really wants to be his girlfriend.
Thus, Chizuru and Kazuya believe that they have a "unrequited love" for each other due to their rental relationship. In order for them to become lovers, both Chizuru and Kazuya must confess their true feelings to each other and overcome this surechigai. What kind of process they go through and what kind of feelings they use as energy to overcome this obstacle are the highlights of their love story.
(To be continued in Volumes 13-18 Part II, Chapter 5)
Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story
■ [Introduction] Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story
■ Volumes 7-12 Part I, Chapter 2
■ Volumes 7-12 Part II, Chapter 3
■ Volumes 13-18 Part I, Chapter 4