Volumes 13-18 Part II, Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story Chapter 5
Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story
■ [Introduction] Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story
■ Volumes 7-12 Part I, Chapter 2
■ Volumes 7-12 Part II, Chapter 3
■ Volumes 13-18 Part I, Chapter 4
■ Volumes 13-18 Part II, Chapter 5
■Someone who Will Truly Make Me Happy
I DON'T LIKE HIM... BUT I DON'T NOT LIKE HIM, EITHER
Today is the last day of the crowdfunding campaign. Chizuru and Kazuya are on the brink of making their dreams come true.
Chizuru wanted to go with Kazuya and the others to hand out the leaflets, but her fellow actor Umi invited her to go see a play. She had asked him to retweet on Twitter, so it was hard for her to refuse it. She was planning to go to Kazuya as soon as the play was over.
◆BUT.. HAVING SOMEONE THERE TO SAY "WE CAN DO IT"... SOMETHING ABOUT THAT IS REALLY PRECIOUS. AND THAT'S THE TYPE OF GUY HE IS... (125)
She can talk honestly about Kazuya to Umi, who is out of the community around Kazuya. Chizuru happily continues to talk about him.
BUT.. HAVING SOMEONE THERE TO SAY "WE CAN DO IT"... SOMETHING ABOUT THAT IS REALLY PRECIOUS.
AND THAT'S THE TYPE OF GUY HE IS...
Having finished watching the play, Chizuru is about to go to Kazuya, but...
Here's something unexpected!
Umi's approach...
I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE. WE ALREADY BROKE UP.
Chizuru doesn't think it's possible, but when he asks her to go out to dinner, she's convinced that Umi wants to go out with her.
◆TODAY'S A REALLY IMPORTANT DAY. (126)
TODAY'S A REALLY IMPORTANT DAY.
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WORKING NONSTOP TO MAKE TODAY A SUCCESS.
WHILE I'M OUT HERE WATCHING PLAYS, THEY'RE GIVING THEIR ALL FOR MY SAKE.
SO, I KNOW YOU HAD ALL THESE PLANS, BUT...
I REALLY NEED TO GO NOW!
For Chizuru, the success of this crowdfunding campaign and Kazuya's willingness to help her dream were more important than anything else. She wants to head to Kazuya right now to distribute leaflets. So she tries to refuse and leave. But
◆SO YEAH, DO YOU LIKE HIM? THAT FRIEND OF YOUS? (127)
DO YOU LIKE HIM?
THAT FRIEND OF YOUS...
DO YOU LIKE HIM?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM?
In this way, Umi stops her.
IT'S WRITTEN ALL OVER YOUR FACE. YOU LIKE HIM.
FOR A WHILE... IT SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE ALWAYS DOWN, NO MATTER WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
BUT THEN, SOMETHING HAPPENED. THINKING BACK ON IT, IT WAS AROUND WHEN YOU GOT THE MOVIE IDEA.
IT WAS LIKE... YOU WERE BACK TO YOUR OLD, LIVELY SELF.
"You like him, right?," Umi asks her. He has already fully realized that Chizuru is in love with Kazuya.
Chizuru can no longer get him to let her go unless she tells him how she really feels. Puzzled, she desperately considers whether she should answer that she likes him.
Chizuru knows exactly how she feels. But at this moment she is struggling with her love for Kazuya. She and Kazuya were just a rental girlfriend and a customer, and she couldn't believe that he liked her. It is not a good idea for a rental girlfriend to fall in love with her customer, and it is impossible for a customer to fall in love with someone who cannot be a real girlfriend. Maybe she was about to give up. She could have answered, "I don't like him," or "I don't have any feelings for him".
But what came to her mind at that time was Yaemori's words.
◆IT'S MORE THAN THAT! HE LIKES YOU AS A WOMAN! (127)
IT'S MORE THAN THAT! HE LIKES YOU AS A WOMAN!
AND I BET ONE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS OUT THERE...
COULD GIVE YOU A WHOLE LIFETIME OF HAPPINESS!
LOVE CAN START AS A RENTAL. THATS WHAT I THINK ANYWAY.
"OUR FAIR MAIDEN." JUST HAD TO GET A PIC!
Chizuru ties her mouth into a tight knot.
◆I'LL GET IT DONE! NO MATTER WHAT! (127)
When she was about to give up on her dream, Kazuya came running to her. He went ahead with everything from the launch of the crowdfunding campaign to the preparation of the project. He read through many novels to find the ones that could be used for the script and even bowed down to the director. Now that my dream may or may not come true is at stake, I cannot afford to waste my time here. Wanting to answer his feelings, Chizuru makes the decision to speak her mind.
◆I DON'T LIKE HIM... BUT I DON'T NOT LIKE HIM, EITHER. (127)
I DON'T LIKE HIM... BUT I DON'T NOT LIKE HIM, EITHER.
This is the only way for Chizuru, who is in a position to support Kazuya's love, to put it this way. She is not good at showing her true feelings, so this is the best she can do. Still, this was the best she could say, "I love him".
I'm sure he won't like me. So I can't say I like him now.
But I still want him. I want to believe that one day I will be able to turn the lie into truth.
◆Chizuru stares at Kazuya distributing leaflets (126)
Chizuru struggled with the fact that Kazuya wouldn't fall in love with her, but still she said she likes him. Chizuru stares at Kazuya distributing leaflets for the success of the crowdfunding campaign, believing that one day this lie will become real.
(Click here for detailed explanation [Commentary] But I Don't Not Like Him Either)
NEVER ONCE HAVE I REGRETTED MEETING YOU. NOT A SINGLE TIME
◆NEVER ONCE HAVE I REGRETTED MEETING YOU. NOT A SINGLE TIME. (131)
During the filming of the movie, Kazuya feels inferior when he sees her acting, which causes him to avoid her. Chizuru scolds him, "YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? SO WHAT IF I'M AN ACTRESS? SO WHAT IF YOU'RE A SHOP MANAGER?". Chizuru didn't like it when Kazuya, who was a benefactor to her, to speak ill of himself, and she wanted to encourage him in by saying this.
NEVER ONCE HAVE I REGRETTED MEETING YOU. NOT A SINGLE TIME.
NOW HAVE I WANTED TO PUNCH TO YOU? LOTS OF TIMES!
Kazuya is not the only one whose life began to shine after that day's rental. Chizuru was also able to change her life after meeting him. Even though he was a bum, a moron, and pathetic, even that seems important to Chizuru now. Even the bad memories of the day they met must be precious to her now.
Two Loves Passing Each Other
◆LET'S SHOOT THE SCENE QUICKLY AND GET BACK. SO QUICK THAT IT MAKES YAEMORI-SAN'S HEAD SPIN. (133)
LET'S SHOOT THE SCENE QUICKLY AND GET BACK. SO QUICK THAT IT MAKES YAEMORI-SAN'S HEAD SPIN.
On a shooting trip, Chizuru is unexpectedly alone with Kazuya! It was Yaemori's plan to make them lovers.
◆COME ON... SERIOUSLY? (133)
She was acting calm in front of Kazuya, but she was actually not calm due to nervousness. When she is alone, she cools her burning cheeks to calm herself down.
I DON'T NOT LIKE HIM EITHER.
She remembers herself saying "I DON'T NOT LIKE HIM EITHER" that day, and then she let out a big sigh, "COME ON... SERIOUSLY?".
As Chizuru spent time with Kazuya as a partner in the movie production, she became even more attracted to him. In the midst of the tension of being alone with him all the time, she has to act calm and finish the filming.
◆SO... IT MADE ME SO HAPPY. WHEN YOU SAID "LET'S MAKE A MOVIE!" IT... IT MADE ME SO HAPPY. (136)
Chizuru tells Kazuya about her grandpa, who she promised to show him how she became an actress. Grandpa had always supported Chizuru like an idiot until he passed away three years ago. Thanks to him, Chizuru was able to keep her dream of becoming an actress alive.
SO... IT MADE ME SO HAPPY.
WHEN YOU SAID "LET'S MAKE A MOVIE!" IT... IT MADE ME SO HAPPY.
Chizuru puts into words how happy she was that Kazuya said he would make her movie. She could not say it for a long time, but she was sincerely happy.
And that night
Is that him, the one who supports me that Grandpa was talking about?
◆Chizuru gazes at Kazuya (137)
She gazes at Kazuya, who has fallen asleep, and thinks about this.
When Chizuru first started dreaming of becoming an actress, Grandpa told her that if she looked forward and worked hard, there would always be someone who would support her.
By this time, Chizuru should have already realized who that person was who would support her and who she wanted that person to be.
、
◆UGH. THIS SUCKS. (137)
Even though she acted calm in front of Kazuya, inside she was nervous about being alone with the person she loves. After all, she can't sleep.
◆WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU THINK IT'D GO WELL WITH RUKA-CHAN? (138)
On the way home, Chizuru asks Kazuya what he thinks of Ruka and Mami now. Actually, while they were waiting for the bullet train to go, he told her that he and Ruka had been having fun talking on the phone lately (Chapter 133). She was worried that maybe the relationship between Ruka and Kazuya was developing.
Chizuru wants to help Kazuya as a rental girlfriend. She wants to help him to find a real girlfriend and thinks his feelings should come first. But deep down, she wants him to choose herself and she wants to be his girlfriend (So Chizuru only watches over Kazuya's love life and does not try to help him and Ruka make their relationship work. She is trying to remain Kazuya's "girlfriend" even if it is a lie).
WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU THINK IT'D GO WELL WITH RUKA-CHAN?
◆THE NEXT PERSON I INTRODUCE TO THEM... IS GONNA BE SOMEONE I LOVE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. (138)
YOU'RE RIGHT. SHE'S A REALLY GREAT GIRL.
BUT... I MADE A DECISION... I CAN'T JUST KEEP MANIPULATING MY FAMILY.
THE NEXT PERSON I INTRODUCE TO THEM... IS GONNA BE SOMEONE I LOVE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Kazuya answers like that. Chizuru must have been relieved to hear that he does not like anyone yet.
Kazuya says these words with Chizuru in mind. The "SOMEONE I LOVE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART" is Chizuru, and he thinks how wonderful it would be if she were his real girlfriend. However, Chizuru does not realize the truth of this.
When will Chizuru realize Kazuya's true feelings?
Love
◆YOU TWO DID IT TOGETHER! (143)
The film shoot was cranked up. When she comes to visit her grandma Sayuri, she finds her junior rental girlfriend, Sumi Sakurazawa. There she learns that Sumi had been cooperating with Kazuya without her knowledge. Sumi then tells her.
KAZUYA-KUN REALLY GAVE IT HIS ALL.
HE'S BEEN SO TORN UP OVER NOT BEING ABLE TO HELP YOU AND YOUR GRANDDMA.
FROM THE MOMENT HE DECIDED ON THE CAMPAIGN, HE HAD SETBACK AFTER SETBACK.
BUT HE KEPT GETTING BACK UP FOR YOU!
I KNOW IT'S BECAUSE YOU WORKED TOGETHER.
BETWEEN YOUR PASSION... AND HIS SUPPORT...
YOU TWO DID IT TOGETHER!
CONGRATULATIONS!
Kazuya was troubled and worried and almost faltered many times, but he still stood up for Chizuru and Grandma Sayuri.
◆...CHIZURU. THERE'S A MOMENT WHEN LOVE TAKES ROOT. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT? (143)
Chizuru is so happy that Kazuya worked so hard for her and her grandma, that Sumi could see that in Kazuya, and that she congratulated them on the completion of the movie, that she's eager to tell someone about him.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO HOLD A CAMERA WHEN WE STARTED!
AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A SCRIPT, EITHER!
AND YET HE SWORE HE WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE IT!
AND THE CROWDFUNDING? HE BARELY GOT PERMISSION FROM THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF OUR PROJECT.
AND THEN WHILE WE WERE WORKING ON IT, HE WAS BARELY EVEN FEEDING HIMSELF!
ALL HE DID WAS CHUG CANS OF MONSTER!
I THOUGHT HE'D KEEL OVER ANY DAY!
Chizuru is constantly talking about Kazuya to Grandma Sayuri. At that time, she shows her biggest smile.
◆IT'S WHEN TALKING ABOUT THAT PERSON... FILLS YOU WITH LAUGHTER AND JOY. (143)
Then, Grandma Sayuri tells her that the moment when love takes root is when you happily talk about someone you like.
No romance between the two of them. They cannot realize the other's true feelings, they cannot even tell each other how they feel, and they surely will not turn to each other. Even with such a partner, Kazuya and Chizuru supported each other, took each other's hand, and achieved their dream together.
BETWEEN YOUR PASSION... AND HIS SUPPORT...
YOU TWO DID IT TOGETHER!
The Kizuna (strong bond) between Chizuru and Kazuya would be more appropriately called "love" rather than just romantic feelings.
Grandma Sayuri's Death and Loneliness
When she goes to the preliminary inspection of the screening venue, Grandma Sayuri collapses. Even though she knows that the time will come, she cannot hide her bewilderment.
◆GOD REALLY IS CRUEL, HUH? (147)
GOD REALLY IS CRUEL, HUH?
We did what we had to do. So we have to accept this reality that God has given us. Chizuru pretends to be unconcerned. Just one more step and the realization of their dream will be far away.
◆Chizuru was able to show the movie to Grandma Sayuri. (149)
Then, however, Kazuya carries a projector into the hospital room and keeps Chizuru's dream alive. It was only for 10 minutes, but Grandma was able to see Chizuru on the screen.
Right before Sayuri passes away, Chizuru wonders until the very end whether she should tell her that the relationship with Kazuya is a lie.
◆I JUST... DON'T KNOW ANYMORE... NOTHING... MAKES SENSE ANYMORE...! (150)
I JUST... DON'T KNOW ANYMORE...
NOTHING... MAKES SENSE ANYMORE...!
Chizuru cries out.
She wants to say it's a lie and apologize. Because that love is just a unrequited love of Chizuru's, Kazuya doesn't have feelings for her, and it's all a false lover relationship. It will not be the wonderful future that Grandma Sayuri is hoping for. If she cannot tell the truth here, she can never apologize again. She will continue to deceive her beloved grandma for the rest of her life.
When Chizuru realizes that Grandma Sayuri has woken up, she tries to tell her the truth.
◆I'M SORRY, GRANDMA... I... THIS WHOLE TIME, IT WAS ALL A LIE. THE TRUTH IS...! (151)
I'M SORRY, GRANDMA... I...
THIS WHOLE TIME, IT WAS ALL A LIE.
THE TRUTH IS...!
But...
◆I CAN'T... (151)
BUT I DON'T THINK THERE EXISTS A PERSON... WHO IS BETTER SUITED TO YOU THAN HIM.
IT'S WHEN TALKING ABOUT THAT PERSON... FILLS YOU WITH LAUGHTER AND JOY.
But when she remembers Grandma Sayuri's happy face, she can't reveal it's a lie. Grandma loved Kazuya and was truly happy that her granddaughter had a wonderful boyfriend. She took her and Kazuya's love seriously and told her that she needed him. If she confides that it is just a lie, she will make her sad and worry.
Seeing Chizuru in pain, Grandma Sayuri says it doesn't matter either way.
◆BUT WHATEVER MY BELOVED GRANDDAUGHTER DECIDES... I CAN ACCEPT IT... (151)
A PART OF ME WANTS TO KNOW... AND A PART OF ME... DOESN'T...
BUT WHATEVER MY BELOVED GRANDDAUGHTER DECIDES...
I CAN ACCEPT IT...
There is rarely a right answer. Still, to keep thinking is integrity to one's life. I am happy that you grew up to be a woman who can live that way. Saying this, Grandma forgives Chizuru for not being able to tell the truth.
◆I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, CHIZURU. YOU ARE MY PRIDE AND JOY. (151)
THE MOVIE WAS WONDERFUL...
THANK YOU
PLEASE GIVE KAZUYA-KUN... MY THANKS AS WELL...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, CHIZURU. YOU ARE MY PRIDE AND JOY.
Grandma Sayuri breathes her last, leaving behind words of gratitude to Chizuru and Kazuya for making the dream come true. Chizuru eventually failed to tell Grandma that her relationship with Kazuya was a lie.
◆I'M FINE! (152)
Chizuru is deeply lonely and saddened by the loss of her only immediate family and the most important person in the world.
Kazuya asks, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT...!?" and cares for her. However
I'M FINE!
Chizuru smiles back. As usual, Chizuru continues to play her strong self.
Grandpa and Grandma
Chizuru lost her grandpa three years ago and finally her grandma. For Chizuru, Grandma and Grandpa were so important to her that it could be said that they were a part of her.
Grandma was the "mother" who raised Chizuru, the one who understood her, the one she admired, and the one who gave her the dream of becoming an actress. And she was the only one who Chizuru could show her true vulnerable self to.
Grandpa was the first person to support Chizuru's dream. He was the one who always stood by her side. He was the one who is so important to her that she would want to absolutely fulfill her promise to him that she would become an actress and show him herself in movies.
After losing both of them, Chizuru is left with deep sadness and loneliness. She is not good at showing her weakness, so she is unable to express her pain to anyone or cry in front of others. When Kazuya worries about her, she smiles back and pretends to be fine. Now Chizuru has no one she can truly rely on.
(To be continued in Volume 19, Chapter 6)
Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story
■ [Introduction] Chizuru Mizuhara's Love Story
■ Volumes 7-12 Part I, Chapter 2
■ Volumes 7-12 Part II, Chapter 3
■ Volumes 13-18 Part I, Chapter 4
■ Volumes 13-18 Part II, Chapter 5
■Someone who Will Truly Make Me Happy
Volumes 13-18, Impressions
Thank you so much for sticking with me for this long, long review commentary, front and back. Kanokari has entered a very serious phase of movie production and grandma's death. Where did the initial silliness go? Where is Kazuya's scrappiness?
Chizuru is conflicted about whether to confess the lie or not. The separation from Grandma Sayuri. Chizuru still pretends to be fine. Kazuya can't do anything. It's really tough to watch. I cried many times while reviewing.
After the serious development of the crowdfunding started, in parallel with that, the story depicted Chizuru struggling with the rental girlfriend/client relationship. It's so sad, so sad that she has to support someone else's love with someone she loves, while still having the unrequited love. Chizuru, hurry up and realize Kazuya's feelings!
Chizuru became aware that Kazuya was 'the one who supports me' through the movie production. They did not become lovers, but Chizuru's love has made great progress. I had a lot to tell you in my review because of the rich content. The most interesting volumes to read are 13-18.
(To be continued in Volume 19, Chapter 6)