選ばれし者

I was walking to the train station after work. The street is very crowded with middle aged men in suit who are going home just like me. Then there's a guy standing in the middle of the street doing nothing. Seems like he's supposed to be giving out flyers of something but he never gives it to anyone. So as soon as he saw me when I walked by, he opened his eyes widely like he found a long-awaited hero to save this world, and gave that flyer to the chosen one, all smiling and saying "titty bar?". 

外れたベルト

Morning rush hour train is crazy. Today l got on a very crowded one, and I could not even move. I felt something got stuck on somewhere but can't do shit. Then at one of the biggest stations in Tokyo, a lot of people got off, so I could finally move and stand in front of a seat that a young lady was seated. She kind of kept looking up and down, so I'm like "Yeah baby what's up?" and I looked down, I found a metal buckle of my belt was totally off and it looks like I'm pissing on her. And you know how it feels to tighten a belt right in front of young lady's face at 8:30 in the morning?

社交性とは

I think one of the most important skills to learn in your life is social skill. So I try to teach my daughter to be social and make a lot of friends.

I took my daughter to her daycare this morning, saw a dad with his daughter. He's like "Good morning, Rico-chan's father! Hi Rico-chan!" I'm like "Hi... You..." He also knows other kids' names, "Hi Saki-chan! Hi Jun-chan"

I don't understand. I think he just comes in the morning to take his daughter and go to work, just like I do. It only takes 5 mins everyday. How the hell could he know kids' names like that and be so friendly? Kids are excited to see him too. I'm like "How!?" And my daughter sees me like "Dad, what was that you were trying to teach me? Social..." I'm like "Forget it".

別れ際の娘

My wife and daughter went to wife's hometown for the long weekend. I gotta work on some days so I stay in Tokyo. So I went to the airport to see them off today. I felt I was gonna miss my daughter, so I tried to kiss her, but she rejected me blocking my face with her hands. My wife was like "Rico, you won't see your daddy for a week". So she was like "alright" and let me kiss her cheek. We said good bye and I was seeing them walk toward the boarding gate. I felt sad, not because they are leaving me, but because I saw my daughter wiped off her cheek with her hand.

人生は短いか

Some people say "Life is too short to worry about what others say. Do whatever you want. Say whatever you gotta say". In Japan, average life span is over 80 years. I think 80 years is too long to live while everybody thinks I'm an asshole.

裏切り

I took my daughter to a daycare service this morning. The front door to the building has a security system, which requires to input passcode to open even from inside. So I was holding the door for my daughter with half of my body in the building, but she plays around and did not come. The security system starts beeping because the door is open for too long, so I yelled "Come on Rico, I'm leaving you!" and pretend to close the door. She turned around, looked at me and rushed toward me. I'm like "Ha, got ya" so I pushed open the door for her, but she pushed back from outside and the door got closed. I'm like "Holy shit!". She smirked and ran back to the playing field. "No dad, I got ya"

銀行

Bank. There's no place like you, who shut down at 3 o'clock on weekdays, and won't even open on weekend, and charge commission fee while nobody but fuckin' machines are working. 

Bank. Do you realize most of us work until 5 or 6, and have a lot of time on weekend, and hate to pay extra 108 yen to get MY money back.

Bank. You are like an asshole but rich classmate. Usually we talk shit about you, but when we need money we treat you like you are my best buddy. 

我が子がオッサンに

My daughter is almost 2 years old, and whatever she does is really cute. So I quickly take out my iPhone and activate a camera to take pictures of this cutie, but it comes out with a smiling face of a middle-aged man with fuckin' mustache. Oh my god, my baby suddenly got aged and became a dude!!

Fuckin' front cam...

謙虚さのないブサイク

I was on morning rush hour train standing. It's crowded so we all gotta body-contact others. I was standing next to a woman, and she keeps blocking my body with her elbow so it hurts. I turned around and said "Excuse me, it hurts", and she's like "you got a space behind you, this is my territory!" I was shocked. I was shocked not because of what she says, but because she's fucking ugly and fat and still has balls to insist on what she wants. 

世界を救った帰り道

I was on evening rush hour train seated. It's been a long day, I worked for 14 hours and was pretty tired, so I bothered to skip some trains and finally could get the seat. Relaxed moment at last! Then at the next stop, a mother and 3 years old girl came on and stood in front of me. They got a big Mickey Mouse popcorn basket, so I'm sure they had a lot of fun today. The girl was so tired and almost fell asleep, the mother picked her up and hold her. Now if you look at us, it looks like a hard working mother taking care of daughter while a lazy ass salaryman doesn't even give up a seat for them. So I stood up and let them sit. That's what I gotta do, because no matter what I've done today, even if I was on the way home after saving the fucking world, mother with little kid who enjoyed Tokyo Disney Land should be prioritized. Yeah, fair enough.