慣れてきた？ / Am I familiar with complexity?

仕事の混乱は相変わらず続いてますが、早くもその状況には慣れてきました。
疲労困憊だけど。
みなさんが非常に協力的で感謝の思いでいっぱいです。
元いたところでは、できるだけ早く手離れできるように配慮してくださるし、新しいところでも温かく迎えていただけてます。
大変だけど乗り越える目処は立ってきました。(ポジティブ)

同僚が私のことを「ハンター」と表現していて、うまい表現だなと思いました。
お客様との新しいプロジェクトを始めようとするときのワクワク感が楽しくて、たくさん仕事を抱えていてもさらに新たなものを求めるタイプです。
今はまだハントしに行けませんが、早く本領発揮できるように立ち上げたいです。
でもたぶん疲れてるから、あまり急がないように。


Although my work is still being complexing, I have already been familiar with this situation.
It is sure that I am exhausted.
I appreciate everyone’s support and kindness.
Those who belong to the organization I led until last year are cooperative with my leaving and those who belong to the organization I started leading are welcome.
I could see the light at the end of tunnel. 
Am I too positive?

My colleague described me as a hunter and I thought that was a happy expression.
When I am about to start new projects with clients, I am excited about them and I want to have more even if I have already had many projects.
Now I am too busy to go hunting but I want to build my pace in order to demonstrate my full capacities.
But I might be exhausted and I should tell me not to hurry up.

仕事初め / the first workday

想像通り、仕事が始まったらたくさんの新たなものが舞い込んできて大変なことに。
まだほぼ何も知らないのに、所信表明演説的なのもやらなきゃならなかったし。
でもそれにより急いで新たな仕事に慣れなきゃという気にもなり、ちょうどよかったかな。
いつものように、少し経ったら楽しくやれるようになっていますように。

As I imagined it was hard to be given new more tasks when the workday was started.
Even though I didn’t know anything about a new role, I should have made a speech of my will.
But it made me notice that I would have to catch up with the new role and that was good for me.
I wish I would enjoy playing the role in some days as usual.

昔の双子たち / very young twins

三男が生まれる前の動画をいくつか見た。
久しぶり。
2人の乳児、幼児を育てるのはつくづく大変だ。
でも2人ともかわいくて、動画の中の私もものすごくかわいがっている様子が伝わってくる。
よくもわるくも、ああやって育てたから、今の彼らが育ったんだなぁと思った。

I watched some movies of my twin sons when they were less than 4 years.
I remembered that taking care of two babies or infants were hard.
But I found that I had been fond of them because they had been very cute.
Whether it was good or bad, I thought that it makes them now.

やっと / Finally

やっと家の片付けと息子たちの諸々の終わりが見えました。
ある意味、充実した休日でした。
楽しいことはあまりなかったけど、家が多少きれいになったのでよしとします。
普段やってないのがいけないからね。
明日からは仕事だ。
大変になりそうだ。

At last I can see the goal about cleaning up and my sons’ tasks.
I have had meaningful holidays.
Even though I didn’t enjoy anything, I thought that my house became cleaner.
It would be better if I regularly cleaned up.
I will re-start working tomorrow.
It will be hard for me.

三男の宿題仕上げ / my youngest son’s homework

そして願書の合間に三男の宿題。
社会と理科の合同レポート仕上げ。
勉強できないけど、パワーポイントは得意な三男が、資料を作成しているも、英語化に苦戦。
知らない単語の嵐なので、三男と辞書をひきひきようやく仕上げ。
あとは本当の仕上げだから、自分でやってもらおう。

やはり片付けはできず、夫がやってます…。


I helped my youngest son with his homework while my second son was writing his applications by himself.
The homework was a common report for Science and Individuals and Societies.
Even though he isn’t good at studying, he is good at making a deck with PowerPoint.
He made is by himself but he struggled with translation into English.
He and I didn’t know many terminologies and finished it with dictionary.
The final completion will be done by himself.

And I cannot clean up so my husband is doing.

次男の出願 / my second son’s application

次男の出願に一緒に取り組んでます。
結構大変よね。
志望動機を書かなくてはならない大学とか、一緒に内容を考えてます。
受験料もかかるしね！
人生がかかってるからね。
片付けが残ってるけど、そっちのけに。

I am focusing on making my second son’s applications to the universities.
It is hard for us.
I am thinking of reasons for the applications with him.
I should pay examination fees as well.
It is the most important for him, isn’t it?
Even though I haven’t completed cleaning up, I cannot care.


メッセンジャー / messenger

アメリカ人ボスたちに、異動に伴う感謝のメールをうっていたら、女性先輩エグゼクティブからメッセンジャーが。

あけおめ。
待ってたよ。

彼女は今日正式アナウンスを受け、早速連絡をしてきてくれたようです。
彼女と私は今年からともに働く機会が増えるのです。

歓迎してもらえてうれしいのですが、新たなロールも大変そう。
といいつつ楽しみなんですが。

さっさと引き継いで新しい仕事しなくちゃね。
感傷に浸る暇もないですね。


When I wrote a thank-you letter for my American bosses because I move to the new role, I received a messenger from a female senior executive.

Happy new year.
I am waiting for you.

She sent it as soon as the formal announcement was issued.
She and I will work together from this year.

I was pleased to be welcomed but I thought that it would be tough for me to take a new role but I look  forward it.

I will have to complete transition of the previous role.
I don’t have enough time to miss the previous projects.

片付け / clean up

年末ほとんどできなかった片付けをしてます。
普段からやっておけばいいんだろうけど、なかなかできておらず。
一年前は三男の中学受験で親の私たちもあまり時間がなく、あまりできてないので、かなり捨てるものありです。
今年は次男が大学受験生で、長男が卒業試験勉強で、家族みんな出かけないんだけど、勉強は自分たちでできるので、片付けるのに最適。
今日は仕事のメールをしようと思ったけど、銀行で用事をすませたり、無心で片付けをしていたのでできてない。夜か明日やろう。
まだまだ続きます。

I am cleaning up my house as I could not at the end of last year.
It is better to always keep clean but I cannot.
I didn’t enough time to clean up a year ago because I should have focused on my youngest son’s exams to get into the junior high school.
Therefore we have many thongs to throw away.
My second son is preparing for exams for the universities and my first son is preparing for the graduation exams.
We cannot go out as well as a year ago but the high school students can study by themselves and it is good for us to clean up.
Although I was supposed to send some emails for my job, I haven’t done almost all of them year because I dedicated to going to the bank and cleaning up.
I will do them this night or tomorrow.
I will continue cleaning up my house.

男女差別にうとい / don’t feel big issues about gender d

西武そごうのCMが炎上していると読んだ。
正直、あまりこの手のことに熱くなれない私。

実はあまり男女差別とかを感じたことがないのです。
男性と女性は違うので、全く同じ扱いをしてほしいともあまり思ったことがなく。
息苦しいと感じたこともなく。
ただ目の前のことを一生懸命やるのに、私は女だからとか関係ないしね。

こういう女性はそれなりにいるらしく、ただ子供を産んで急に差別を感じてしまい、苦しさにもがくのだというストーリーは納得がいく。
私もその1人なのかなとずっとなんとなく思ってたけど、やっぱり違うんじゃないかという気がしてきた。

就活のときに、男女って区別されるんだと初めて知り、面接でも「女性でも活躍できる仕事がいいです」と言ってました。
そしたらどこかの面接で、「あなたならそんな心配いらないでしょう」と面接官に言われたのです。
で、そんなもんかなと思い、深く考えず、あまり気にせずに就職。

子供を産んだらそりゃいろいろびっくりしましたよ。
ただ、私は優秀な母親でもないし、双子だったし、ワンオペできるほどの才覚なし。
結局、夫だって子供ができた影響を受けたのよね。
だから、まぁ仕方ないか、人間を育てるんだし、どこか我慢しなきゃねぐらいな感じで。
もちろんもがいたし、悩んだけど、女性だからとはさほど思ってなかったのかもね。

で、次には、男性の仕事の仕方がサッカーに似てるなと思い、一人でも頑張る女性と違うなと思ったことが。
ただ、なんとなく感覚を理解でき、あまり気にならないようになるのにさして時間がかからず。
外国人と仕事をすると違いがあるよねというのと似た感じ。
別に理解すれば大したことじゃない。

以上3点が唯一感じた女性だからポイントだったけど、あまり強くないから結局大した影響がなかったようです。
そもそも、多少なにかを感じても、その前提で最善策が取れないかと考えてしまうため、あまり深く考えられない。
議論より行動してしまうタチなのです。

女性活躍系のリーダーは、私のような気にしない人がやるべきではないんではと思ってたけど、まぁこれはこれでいいのかな。
女性たちがいろんなことで悩むのを聞き、いろいろ学び、彼女たちを落ち着かせるリーダーもありなんじゃないかしらね。


I read about trolling of the commercial of Seibu&Sogo.
To be honest, I cannot be excited about this type of things.

Honestly I haven’t felt gender discrimination.
I have thought that there are some differences of genders and I haven’t wanted to be treated as the same.
I haven’t felt sense of stagnation.
I don’t think that making great efforts to cope with thigs I am facing relates to gender.

Women like me exist but I agree that most of them feel discrimination after they have children and struggle with sense of stagnation about balancing between work and life.
I have thought that I am one of them but I just know it is not correct.

While I was applying to companies before the graduation from the university, I knew gender discrimination at the first time and I spoke that I would like to get jobs which don’t have gender discrimination.
One of the interviewers told me that you didn’t have to worry about it.
Therefore I thought it might be right without thinking of it deeply and I got into the first company.

I was surprised with many things when I had my twin sons for sure.
But I was not an excellent mother and couldn’t operate taking care of my children alone.
As a result of that my husband was affected as well as I.
Therefore I didn’t think that I had any ways and I accepted to have to put up with something because I had big tasks to raise my children.
I struggled with many things for sure and was worried about them but I didn’t think that it was because of a woman.

I felt a new difference from men when I knew the way how men work was like soccer and it was different from the way women work alone.
But I got understanding it with sense and it didn’t take time to accept it.
It was like the difference from foreigners’ work-style.
They were not big deals if I understood them.

The three points I mentioned above were only what I felt the differences but they were not so big and they didn’t affect me a lot.
Originally I am a person who tries to think of the best solutions based on the assumptions given to me and I cannot think of the discrimination or differences deeply.
I am a person who wants to take actions rather than discuss with others.

I have thought that I was not an appropriate leader because I didn’t have any big issues about it but I start to think that a leader like me is one of the solutions.
It might be good that a leader listens to many women’s concerns, learns from them, and makes them calm.