誰のせいなの？
因为我不能果断一点，老实一点，直接一点，
我开始想念以前自由自在的我。
那个快乐享受着alone time的我。
要到什么时候，我才会开始再快乐起来？
不许要每天烦恼着，担心着，埋怨着。
我不要开始讨厌自己。
我从来都没有讨厌过自己，不管我的缺点多么的多，不管我的自信多么的少，我都没有讨厌过自己。
可是，现在我真的有些厌恶自己。
怎么会这样？
我开始想念以前自由自在的我。
那个快乐享受着alone time的我。
要到什么时候，我才会开始再快乐起来？
不许要每天烦恼着，担心着，埋怨着。
我不要开始讨厌自己。
我从来都没有讨厌过自己，不管我的缺点多么的多，不管我的自信多么的少，我都没有讨厌过自己。
可是，现在我真的有些厌恶自己。
怎么会这样？
Funerals
Okay, I don't mean anything bad but I'm just saying my thoughts about humans, responsibility and well, funerals.
Besides the most heart-wrenching place/event ever, how I feel about funerals is that it is also the most AWKWARD event ever. Okay, this does not apply to funerals of your closest kins (AND CHOOOYYYY!!!!! TOUCH WOOD LA!)
What sucks about me is that, sadness, grief and pain are freaking latecomers, just like how I am always late.
They only strike me when the event/climax is over. So when people are crying their hearts out, I'm actually trying to think back about the memories and try to show some sadness. That's honestly the most inhumane part about me, BUT wait, I'm not trying to say I don't feel sad about the loss of another awesome person, but it's just, I feel it later than usual. That, to me, is awkward point number 1.
Second awkward point is, WHAT TO DO during a funeral. Yes, what to do. What can you do, and cannot do, should you console, or not console, can you sit here or cannot sit, can you eat or cannot eat,. how to do when asked to do and how to do it nicely so that others won't think you're a bitch. An example, others are folding the paper gold ingot, and obviously they have more than enough people to fold, so.....you sit there and stone........ sucks. I remember bringing back chicken bao for godma when godpa died, and wah, she gave me the horrified look, and said "didnt you know we have to eat vegetarian meals during the three days?" uhhh, yup, I didn't know and screw that look, tyvm.
Third awkward point, you have work piling ad infinitum, and yet you can't leave that place. Okay, I experienced this, and what's worse is test is coming. Okay, so now what? Going back to do = heartless, unfilial, cold-blooded, but wait, staying there = a waste of time. You can't possibly read books or start typing away at such a place, if not, be prepared to get dagger shots all over you. So the fact that it's hard to balance responsibility for work and the image you portray or negative image that you try not to portray is AWKWARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
So you see, awkward or not?
Besides the most heart-wrenching place/event ever, how I feel about funerals is that it is also the most AWKWARD event ever. Okay, this does not apply to funerals of your closest kins (AND CHOOOYYYY!!!!! TOUCH WOOD LA!)
What sucks about me is that, sadness, grief and pain are freaking latecomers, just like how I am always late.
They only strike me when the event/climax is over. So when people are crying their hearts out, I'm actually trying to think back about the memories and try to show some sadness. That's honestly the most inhumane part about me, BUT wait, I'm not trying to say I don't feel sad about the loss of another awesome person, but it's just, I feel it later than usual. That, to me, is awkward point number 1.
Second awkward point is, WHAT TO DO during a funeral. Yes, what to do. What can you do, and cannot do, should you console, or not console, can you sit here or cannot sit, can you eat or cannot eat,. how to do when asked to do and how to do it nicely so that others won't think you're a bitch. An example, others are folding the paper gold ingot, and obviously they have more than enough people to fold, so.....you sit there and stone........ sucks. I remember bringing back chicken bao for godma when godpa died, and wah, she gave me the horrified look, and said "didnt you know we have to eat vegetarian meals during the three days?" uhhh, yup, I didn't know and screw that look, tyvm.
Third awkward point, you have work piling ad infinitum, and yet you can't leave that place. Okay, I experienced this, and what's worse is test is coming. Okay, so now what? Going back to do = heartless, unfilial, cold-blooded, but wait, staying there = a waste of time. You can't possibly read books or start typing away at such a place, if not, be prepared to get dagger shots all over you. So the fact that it's hard to balance responsibility for work and the image you portray or negative image that you try not to portray is AWKWARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
So you see, awkward or not?
Before I forget what I heard
Three must-have traits to be a successful person:
INTELLIGENCE
HONESTY
HARDWORK
a missing of any of these three makes you, unfortunately, far from success.
INTELLIGENCE
HONESTY
HARDWORK
a missing of any of these three makes you, unfortunately, far from success.
So there are many kinds of friends...
But, what if, when you think about a certain friend, and all you feel are negative feelings or bad experiences with her, is she still a friend?
Perhaps I'm too reliant on my so-called instincts and heart. Yes, I should see at her in a positive light, I can do that, takes time and effort tho.
But, really, honestly, is she still a friend? If her influences are not exactly positive, albeit all the nice things she has done to you. My lower self says don't befriend her, keep her at arm's length, my higher self says, all friends are friends :)
uh ho.
glum chum me.
Perhaps I'm too reliant on my so-called instincts and heart. Yes, I should see at her in a positive light, I can do that, takes time and effort tho.
But, really, honestly, is she still a friend? If her influences are not exactly positive, albeit all the nice things she has done to you. My lower self says don't befriend her, keep her at arm's length, my higher self says, all friends are friends :)
uh ho.
glum chum me.
good morning
new post early in the morning.
tumblr is inspiring, altho rrcently all the photos seemed to about bgr rather than life. okay might come in handy someday.
anyway, so tumblr posts kept telling us to be ourselves. i think there's an over-emphasis and overrating of being ourselves. the greatest and most successful people out there didnt be themselves when they are struggling, if they did, most prolly they wouldnt be successful.
i think being yourself comes with conditions and only certain circumstances you are able to use them, if not it'll just be an excuse for one to give up trying or hurt others.
example, cn always says be yourself, and so her words are sharp blunt and harsh. true, it's great she's not pretending to be someone else, but dont you wish she will stop being herself when her words prick you?
i think life is more about balancing and holding 'mid way' values, uh i mean like, when you're confident, dont be too confident, when you're humble dont be too humble. perhaps one impt lesson in life is learning how to do things and behave in a moderate way:)
iPhoneからの投稿
tumblr is inspiring, altho rrcently all the photos seemed to about bgr rather than life. okay might come in handy someday.
anyway, so tumblr posts kept telling us to be ourselves. i think there's an over-emphasis and overrating of being ourselves. the greatest and most successful people out there didnt be themselves when they are struggling, if they did, most prolly they wouldnt be successful.
i think being yourself comes with conditions and only certain circumstances you are able to use them, if not it'll just be an excuse for one to give up trying or hurt others.
example, cn always says be yourself, and so her words are sharp blunt and harsh. true, it's great she's not pretending to be someone else, but dont you wish she will stop being herself when her words prick you?
i think life is more about balancing and holding 'mid way' values, uh i mean like, when you're confident, dont be too confident, when you're humble dont be too humble. perhaps one impt lesson in life is learning how to do things and behave in a moderate way:)
iPhoneからの投稿