Funerals
Okay, I don't mean anything bad but I'm just saying my thoughts about humans, responsibility and well, funerals.
Besides the most heart-wrenching place/event ever, how I feel about funerals is that it is also the most AWKWARD event ever. Okay, this does not apply to funerals of your closest kins (AND CHOOOYYYY!!!!! TOUCH WOOD LA!)
What sucks about me is that, sadness, grief and pain are freaking latecomers, just like how I am always late.
They only strike me when the event/climax is over. So when people are crying their hearts out, I'm actually trying to think back about the memories and try to show some sadness. That's honestly the most inhumane part about me, BUT wait, I'm not trying to say I don't feel sad about the loss of another awesome person, but it's just, I feel it later than usual. That, to me, is awkward point number 1.
Second awkward point is, WHAT TO DO during a funeral. Yes, what to do. What can you do, and cannot do, should you console, or not console, can you sit here or cannot sit, can you eat or cannot eat,. how to do when asked to do and how to do it nicely so that others won't think you're a bitch. An example, others are folding the paper gold ingot, and obviously they have more than enough people to fold, so.....you sit there and stone........ sucks. I remember bringing back chicken bao for godma when godpa died, and wah, she gave me the horrified look, and said "didnt you know we have to eat vegetarian meals during the three days?" uhhh, yup, I didn't know and screw that look, tyvm.
Third awkward point, you have work piling ad infinitum, and yet you can't leave that place. Okay, I experienced this, and what's worse is test is coming. Okay, so now what? Going back to do = heartless, unfilial, cold-blooded, but wait, staying there = a waste of time. You can't possibly read books or start typing away at such a place, if not, be prepared to get dagger shots all over you. So the fact that it's hard to balance responsibility for work and the image you portray or negative image that you try not to portray is AWKWARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
So you see, awkward or not?
Besides the most heart-wrenching place/event ever, how I feel about funerals is that it is also the most AWKWARD event ever. Okay, this does not apply to funerals of your closest kins (AND CHOOOYYYY!!!!! TOUCH WOOD LA!)
What sucks about me is that, sadness, grief and pain are freaking latecomers, just like how I am always late.
They only strike me when the event/climax is over. So when people are crying their hearts out, I'm actually trying to think back about the memories and try to show some sadness. That's honestly the most inhumane part about me, BUT wait, I'm not trying to say I don't feel sad about the loss of another awesome person, but it's just, I feel it later than usual. That, to me, is awkward point number 1.
Second awkward point is, WHAT TO DO during a funeral. Yes, what to do. What can you do, and cannot do, should you console, or not console, can you sit here or cannot sit, can you eat or cannot eat,. how to do when asked to do and how to do it nicely so that others won't think you're a bitch. An example, others are folding the paper gold ingot, and obviously they have more than enough people to fold, so.....you sit there and stone........ sucks. I remember bringing back chicken bao for godma when godpa died, and wah, she gave me the horrified look, and said "didnt you know we have to eat vegetarian meals during the three days?" uhhh, yup, I didn't know and screw that look, tyvm.
Third awkward point, you have work piling ad infinitum, and yet you can't leave that place. Okay, I experienced this, and what's worse is test is coming. Okay, so now what? Going back to do = heartless, unfilial, cold-blooded, but wait, staying there = a waste of time. You can't possibly read books or start typing away at such a place, if not, be prepared to get dagger shots all over you. So the fact that it's hard to balance responsibility for work and the image you portray or negative image that you try not to portray is AWKWARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
So you see, awkward or not?