Now I hardly recognize the name “Fibromyalgia”.

A lot of people are talking about “Fibromyalgia” on the Internet, since Lady Gaga opened up about her illness few weeks ago.

◆Lady Gaga hospitalized, pulls out of Rock in Rio, due to Fibromyalgia

It was on the 12^th, when she opened up about her condition on social media, saying, “In our documentary, the chronic illness, the chronic pain I deal with is Fibromyalgia. I wish to help raise awareness and connect people who have it.”

Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain musculoskeletal disease that causes widespread pain, with patients often experiencing extreme fatigue, sleep disturbances, depression and headaches. It may also make it difficult to carry out daily activities.

In the first trailer for her documentary, titled “Five Foot Two,” the musician was seen at a doctor’s office.

Though she had revealed that she was going to take a ‘rest’ from music after her world tour at the beginning of this month, she has now been hospitalized and forced to pull out of the upcoming Rock in Rio music festival in Brazil. She posted a photo on Instagram of her arm with a needle in it and a tube running outside the photo’s frame.

Her representatives said in a statement on the 14^th that she was suffering from “severe physical pain” that affected her ability to perform and that she was under the care of “expert medical professionals.”

◆Getting Through as Fibromyalgia patient

“Many of you may not be familiar with Fibromyalgia, despite the fact it is estimated that there are two million patients who suffer from this illness in Japan. Unfortunately they are often misdiagnosed and are not treated properly.” Says Dr. Arata who has seen these patients for almost ten years as a dermatologist in Tokyo.

As I revealed in the book ‘Denpa Zuma’, I was once diagnosed Fibromyalgia in 2008.

Having gone thorough all kinds of examinations, I was told

I had ‘Fibromyalgia.’ Yet there were no established methods of treatment to ease the pain or stiffness back then. (Dr.Arata currently has written on her weblog, “Though the disease is still not common among the doctors here, the treatment drug was approved in Japan in 2012. And it is easer to treat the patients or ease the pain compared to the past, if its symptoms are found at earlier stage”. )

I visited Dr. Arata and other skilled doctors who were considered to be the best in the field all around Japan. I travelled a thousand miles every week to get acupuncture therapy in Kyoto. In Ishikawa prefecture, I had an injection that would act on my trigger point. I was counting on every new medicine to escape from the pain.

As I went along, I met some doctors who blamed it on my weak spirit and doctors who had never heard of Fibromyalgia. That was when I started writing blogs about myself struggling against it, and took interviews for news media to raise awareness of Fibromyalgia.

◆Awakened to move forward

One afternoon, I was at a hospital for a block injection then the doctor unexpectedly questioned me, “Are you trying to stay diseased?”

I did not understand what she meant by that, but I remember I felt extremely offended and miserable for myself because the pain was not in my imagination but the whole truth. She could’ve treated me better, but it was my reaction to her words that clung to my mind for years after this incident. I felt something strange in my reaction toward her words. I kept asking to myself, “If it was just her lack of sympathy, then why did it get me so off?”

It took me five years to shift my mind to do and achieve things I love, rather than disappointing myself by focusing on every little thing the pain prevented me from. I became more honest with myself and decided to take a challenge by entering a hospital for almost six months, just to ease myself so that I could learn how to save and renew my energy to accomplish my wish under the condition of the illness. It was quite a big challenge for me to let my thoughts out and convince the doctors, nurses and my family that I had to take that period of time to get rested, as it was rather experimental and no one knew how it would turn out.

By the time I accepted who I was, and started to move forward, I read this one weblog, which encouraged me to keep going. It was written by Jinnosuke Kokoroya, the Japanese psychological counselor, who had been my mentor since I started learning in the psychological field. I felt strongly connected to the article as if it was written to let me know that I was heading in the right direction. Then something became clear, when I remembered the question the doctor gave me at the hospital. I was literally trying to stay diseased that time, because I accepted the illness to take control of my life. I could have said ‘No’, only if I wanted to, but I didn't, until the time I set my mind to quit being fibromyalgia. I finally admitted the truth that it was myself who‘d let everything happen.

Here are the quotes of the weblog that inspired me to get through.

Anything that falls on to you, which makes you feel like you are unfortunate, it is just happening to you, but it doesn't mean you have to wear it or get wrapped up

If it is happening and finds you where you are, you just have to finish it like you are experiencing a nice morning shower.

If the illness has found you in the past, it doesn't mean you have to stay sick the rest of your life.

It is always in your hand, if you want it to end, then you can decide when and how it ends.

(Partially omitted)

You could always call it ends, only if you decide.

Some people may say ‘It’s not that easy.’

And I am not saying it’s easy.

But I am quite certain that you are the one who is picking which one to believe. When you have a choice to believe it’s impossible, you already have a choice to believe in ‘totally the opposite.’

(Quotes end)

After I read this article, I stopped writing the weblog. It’s been four years since then, and I do not feel severe consecutive pain any more just like when it first appeared. Yet I only know how to get along with the pain and stiffness, because I know they are still in me. I rest myself in advance when I have to work hard or travel long distances, so I can prepare myself to channel the energy towards the tasks. This is how I keep up with my life these days, but I hardly recognize the name ‘Fibromyalgia’, as it has become only a tiny, tiny piece of me.

Maybe it was my imagination that the disease mistakenly caught me up that moment, but I felt the pain, that was for sure.

When the pain takes over you, it is difficult to fight back. They would tear you apart, destroying your soul to live.

‘I know you are hurt’.

When you say it to yourself, these words could save your life and soul.

You will never see someone else’s pain, because you are the only one who can feel.

‘I want you to know I am hurt’.

‘I do not want you to leave me behind’.

After I took the pain as my voice calling from inside, I let it be a part of my life.

This is how I think I broke free from the illness, ‘Fibromyalgia.’

“I’m looking forward to reflecting and slowing down for a moment and healing, because that’s important,” said Lady Gaga.

I felt for her, when she said it’s important to slow down. When a world famous pop star like her comes forward, we are all reminded that it is essential to take care of ourselves besides anything.

(End)

This article was originally written on a weblog of Biwacchi, also known as Miwa Shiraishi, a writer/Psychological counselor/consultant who has been through Fibromyalgia in Japan.

Her Weblog

https://ameblo.jp/aisarerucocoro/entry-12309977955.html

Her Book

https://www.amazon.co.jp/未来の〝わたし″を思い出す-愛される心のつくりかた-びわっち/dp/486471391X%3FSubscriptionId%3D175BC0N2BCT0X4DAZG82%26tag%3Damebablog-a2256944-22%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D486471391X

Facebook Account

https://m.facebook.com/mousouroudokulove/

Sources of Lady Gaga.

http://edition.cnn.com/2017/09/12/entertainment/lady-gaga-fibromyalgia/index.html

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/09/15/lady-gaga-hospitalized-pulls-out-of-rock-in-rio-im-in-severe-pain

Dr. Arata Tomori official blog

https://ameblo.jp/arata1107/entry-12310500644.html

Kokoroya Jinnosuke official blog