I've been still a morning bird neverthless Eiken was over.
That's because I have a hunch that I'll need to keep studying for Eiken yet.
I've been busy these days, which avoids me to comtempt my life especially how I'd like to live.
I'll pick up some cases I'm wondering why I think so.
1. I don't want to have any apointments.
Having appointment often means I get new customers, so I should welcome these kinds of meeting, but actually I'm not so glad to see my diary start filling up.
I want more free time,but if I were hired by someone, I would have less time to use for myself.
More than that, what would I like to do in my spare time?
I might hope to work another job.
2. I want more money.
If I get profit from my classroon, I don't feel money I can use is increased.
That's because the money I earn is lower than I expect?
It might be the one reason.
Another considerable reason is that my job is very fluctuate.
If I get new students, some students leave, which is inevitable of this job.
But everytime my students leave, my heart is always hurt so much and I always think I was something wrong.
I know these kind of regarettable feeling is not so good, but it can't be helped.
The reasons mentioned above, it's somtimes difficult to use the money from students freely even if they are mine.
So, I'm thinking about getting another job as side job and the salary I earned would be used for the fun with my daughters.
3. I really reluctant to build my own house in this area.
Of course, there is money concern and the risk of natural disaster to build a house.
Moreover, however, I don't have desire to build my own house in this area.
If I set loan program, I could build a house as the same cost as I pay for my apartment.
Plus, it's quiet natural in this area to build their own house after having a child.
One of my students asked me the reason why I didn't build my own house before.
I was a bit embarassed and somehow I replied I had a dream to live in the upper floor of high-rise apartment someday.
Unfortunately, in these area, there were no condominium.
I guessed he though how idiot I was.
Actually, I don't have any image that I'll continue to live in this area forever.
After my daughters graduate high school, they would live in other rigion.
Then, I might have little regrets in this area.
I've heard that people would head for the place where their mind head for.
My mind has already been far away from here?
Most of people may work for their livelihood, but I'm not satisfied to work for only my living.
It seems not easy to solve my all issue in my mind right now.
I'll try to sometimes throw up my negative feeling to organize my idea on this blog like this.
That's all today.
Have a nice day:)