Ms Bowdery wrote:
You never think it will happen to you. It was just a Friday night at a rock show. The atmosphere was so happy and everyone was dancing and smiling. And then when the men came through the front entrance and began the shooting, we naiively believed it was all part of the show.
It wasn't just a terrorist attack, it was a massacre. Dozens of people were shot right infront of me. Pools of blood filled the floor. Cries of grown men who held their girlfriends dead bodies pierced the small music venue. Futures demolished, families heartbroken. in an instant. Shocked and alone, I pretended to be dead for over an hour, lying among people who could see their loved ones motionless.
Holding my breath, trying to not move, not cry - not giving those men the fear they longed to see. I was incredibly lucky to survive. But so many didn't. The people who had been there for the exact same reasons as I - to have a fun friday night were innocent. This world is cruel. And acts like this are suppose to highlight the depravity of humans and the images of those men circuling us like vultures will haunt me for the rest of my life. The way they meticoulsy aimed at shot people around the standing area i was in the centre of without any consideration for human life.
It didn't feel real. I expected any moment for someone to say it was just a nightmare.
But being a survivor of this horror lets me able to shed light on the heroes. To the man who reassured me and put his life on line to try and cover my brain whilst i whimpered, to the couple whose last words of love kept me believing the good in the world, to the police who succeded in rescuing hundreds of people, to the complete strangers who picked me up from the road and consoled me during the 45 minutes I truly believed the boy i loved was dead, to the injured man who i had mistaken for him and then on my recognition that he was not Amaury, held me and told me everything was going to be fine despite being all alone and scared himself, to the woman who opened her doors to the survivors, to the friend who offered me shelter and went out to buy new clothes so i wouldnt have to wear this blood stained top, to all of you who have sent caring messages of support - you make me believe this world has the potential to be better.
To never let this happen again. But most of this is to the 80 people who were murdered inside that venue, who weren't as lucky, who didnt get to wake up today and to all the pain that their friends and families are going through. I am so sorry. There's nothing that will fix the pain. I feel privileged to be there for their last breaths.
"And truly believing that I would join them, I promise that their last thoughts were not on the animals who caused all this.
It was thinking of the people they loved. As i lay down in the blood of strangers and waiting for my bullet to end my mere 22 years, I envisioned every face that I have ever loved and whispered I love you. over and over again. reflecting on the highlights of my life. Wishing that those i love knew just how much, wishing that they knew that no matter what happened to me, to keep belieivng in the good in people. to not let those men win.
Last night, the lives of many were forever changed and it is up to us to be better people. To live lives that the innocent victims of this tragedy dreamt about but sadly will now never be able to fulfil. "
RIP angels. You will never be forgotten.
- Daily Telegraph
パリの同時多発テロで１００名近くが命を奪われたコンサート会場 Bataclan（バタクラン）の生存者、 Bowdery さん。Facebookの個人ページにあった手記の一部を 先日の記事で 訳して紹介したのですが、内容がパブリックになっていたのでこちらでも原文を掲載することにしました。
盛り上がる満員の会場で銃を手にしたテロリストがあらわれたとき、みんな最初は演出の一部だと思っていたそうです。
身を危険にさらして銃弾から自分の頭をかばってくれた男性、最期の別れのかわす恋人達の言葉、最愛の人が死んでしまったに違いないと打ちひしがれていた自分に声をかけ、励まし続けてくれた人、生存者に家を解放した女性、血まみれになった服の着替えを買ってきてくれた友人、たくさんのメッセージをくれた人達
人々の愛と善意にふれて
「あなたたちのおかげで、世界はもっとよくなる、その可能性を信じることができた」
前半は読んでいていたたまれなくなりますが、悪夢のような体験をしたにも関わらず、悪ではなく善を信じることができた、と私たちに希望の光を照らしてくれた Bowderyさん。ありがとう。
＊ 青字斜体のパラグラフが、友人の反応、生還者の言葉で訳した箇所です。（当初より少し増やしてます）
窓の外の景色がみれて、音楽がきけて、ごはんが食べれて、お風呂にはいれて、今日があって、明日があって・・
命があるってなんてありがたいことだろう。
天気が悪い日がつづいたり気持ちが乗らなかったり体調が悪かったり、なんだか今日はイマイチ・・なんてこと誰でもあるとおもうけど、それはそれで別によくて
ただ、無駄な日、無駄な時間なんてないんだと思います。
そのことを忘れないようにしよう。
友人をはげましたくて、火曜日に一念発起、フランス家庭の味のヨーグルトケーキを焼きました。タルト・オ・ポムの作り方を教えてくれたマダムがたまたま先週レシピを送ってくれてたんです。子供でも作れるほど簡単でリピート確実、レシピまた紹介しますね。
誰かによろこんでもらおうと作るお菓子って、作ってる本人もめちゃくちゃ幸せに・・ありがたかった。
この日は朝からこのお菓子づくり、午後はバレエのアシスタントで子供たちからあかるい希望のエネルギーをたくさんもらって、夜は自分自身のレッスン。感謝の気持ちであふれた一日でした。
今週は、日～木と毎日バレエに行ってしまい（ぜんぶ違うクラス）、ロイヤルバレエの MonotonesとTwo Pigeonsを観て、料理上手の友人に中華風スペアリブの煮込みをおしえてもらいました。今日はのんびりの金曜日・・ ダメもとで電話してみたら予約がとれたのでカットに行くことに。だいすきな美容師さんに会えるのがうれしい。
すべての瞬間を愛おしくかんじる一週間です。