News Rakugo: “The Election of First-Time Everything”
Disciple: Master! Big news! The election became a landslide—everyone says it was a divine wind!
Master: A divine wind, huh? People love calling “math” a miracle.
Disciple: It was first-time everything! A historic result!
Master: First-time, first-time… at this point it’s not “first-time,” it’s “nice to meet you.”
Disciple: So it’s really kamikaze, right? The gods helped!
Master: No, no. In politics, “divine wind” usually means… strategy and calculation.
Disciple: Calculation? But people were shocked!
Master: Exactly. When the plan works, people call it fate. When it fails, they call it gambling.
Disciple: Then what was really blowing?
Master: Kami-kaze.
Disciple: …That’s the same word.
Master: Different kami. Not “god” kami—paper kami.
The wind that matters is the paper wind: ballots, paperwork, and where the votes drift.
Disciple: So we should pray to… paper?
Master: If you want to pray, don’t go to a shrine—go to the election office.
No paper, no victory.
Disciple: That’s painfully realistic.
Master: Reality is my favorite genre.