お疲れ様です。
筆者はそれほどお疲れ様でもなかったはずなのに、
昨日お風呂でしゃんぷーして、空気がもわってなってきたから
窓を開けよっと立ったら、腰が
ぎっくりしてしまったのさ。
神様教えて、なにこれ？
重いもの持ったとか、腰をひねりながら空中で3回転したとかで
ぎっくりするなら反省もしよう。
でも
立っただけ
とかではもうどう考えたらいいのかあたしにゃさっぱり。
予防もムリじゃんか？
だってできないじゃんか。
もうこれからは立たないようにしよう！
とかできないよな？え？神さんよ！？
明日の朝は年に2回の町内一斉大掃除だというのに。
町内一斉大掃除はスキではないが、
こういうのを休んで、その後近所の住人に会うたびに
「こないだはすみませんでした～、ギックリしちゃって～。」
とか言って謝らないといけないのはもっとスキではないので
休みたくないのだが。
だけど、全然かがめないし、かがめないと使い物にならないし、
休むしかないかもしれない。
善良な市民であるこの筆者を町内行事に参加できないようにして
なんかイイことありますかね、え？神さんよ！？
恨む対象がないので神様にあたりちらす筆者である。
だって神様なら許してくれるんだろ、え、神さんよ！？
＜英語版＞
Hi, there.
I'm suffering a sprained back, a condition called GIKKURI-GOSHI.
It started yesterday afternoon when I was shampooing.
The room air got too hot and humid, I stood up from the stool I was sitting on
to open the window, and,
SHAZAMMMMM!!
It struck me like electricity or something.
Tell me, God, what is this?
If it's caused by my action like carrying a heavy object or
spinning three times in the air using my hip as a pivot or something,
then it's my fault. I get it. I wouldn't blame anyone or anything.
AND I would be very careful not to carry such a heavy thing or
turn three times in the air in the future.
But I just stood up from the stool.
I just stood up.
That's it.
And I have to suffer this?! C'mon!!!
How am I supposed to even prevent this in future?!
Because I can't not stand up, can I, God?!
I CAN'T. You know what I'm saying, God!?
It gets worse;
biannual neighborhood cleaning day is tomorrow.
How am I supposed to participate that, huh, God!?
I can't even turn my head down!
How am I supposed to broom the neighborhood!?
I'll have to call Mrs. M to report my absence,
which I hate!!
I don't particularly love a neighborhood cleaning day,
but I hate it when I have to say something like;
"Oh, hi, Mrs. I/O/M/U, I'm so sorry I couldn't make it
the other day, I had a GIKKURI-GOSHI,"
every time I come across Mrs. I/O/M/U for a while.
I can't participate in an important social activity
because you gave me this goddamn GIKKURI-GOSHI, God.
Happy, God?!
Since there's no one or thing I can blame,
I decided to use God as my punching bag.
Because you're so nice to people, right, God!?