written by the representative of ちょっと訳して.com
今日の国際社会にかかせない英語表現： 「やったわ･･･」／「そういうことなのだ」
ゴキブリって、この世で二番目にキライだ。アレでもやっぱりなんかの役に立っているのだろうか？
数年前アパートを借りてまだ家具も食料も何にも入れてないときに部屋に入ったらヤツがいた。オマエまだ何も用ないやろ！？
ヤツらと住むのは絶対イヤだから死ぬほど対策している。おかげで住み着いているヤツはまだいないようだが、窓から入ってくる！もー、死んでくれ。一番の進入経路は居間のベランダだ。台所ではほとんど遭遇しないのに、なぜ居間で遭遇するのか？と思っていたが、そういうことなのだ。
先日、ベランダに出たら大胆不敵にも私と入れ違いに飛んで入ろうとした。あわてて網戸を閉めたらいなくなったから「しまった、網戸と窓枠の間でつぶれたか？！」と思ったら、つぶれるどころかその間にいて上下に移動したりして元気そうにしている。あんな薄い空間で！！つぶれたらヤダと思っていたが、つぶれていないのもやっぱりヤダ！どうしたらいいんだ、と思案していたら既に室内側に移動してきたので、慌ててガラス戸を閉めたら、網戸とガラス戸の間に閉じ込められたので、外に回って網戸越しにゴイスをかけたが、いつ死ぬ！？ってぐらいジタバタしてほんっとにヤダ！と思っていたら窓の隅にかかったクモの巣に自ら突入して、にっちもさっちも行かない状況になってくれたので、クモの巣ごと取って封筒に入れて踏んだ。
今回は水際で進入阻止できた。そのあとベランダの外壁にゴイスを塗布したが、屋外用ではないので、いつまでもつか？
いつも思うがゴキブリと戦っているとき、エイリアンと戦っている時のシガニー・ウィーバーを思い出す。どうしようもなく怖くて気持ち悪い強敵にひとりで立ち向かい、戦いの後はいまだ駆け巡り続けるアドレナリンを感じつつも放心状態で「やったわ･･･ゴキブリめ･･･！」と思うのだ。
You know what I hate? It's cockroaches. They come second on my "hate most" list. Do they do anything good for the ecosystem or in any way?
A few years ago, a few days after I rented my apartment, when I came home, there, a cockroach was right in the middle of the living room. It was when there weren't anything yet, no furniture, no food or no garbage, just a floor lamp and a carpet. What fricking business are you here for?!
I have no tolerance to live with any of them, so I do everything in my power to keep them out. And I am pretty confident that no roaches inhabit in my apartment, but they come in from windows!! DURRRRRRRRR!! Die you roaches! Die out!!
Recently I've figured that balcony in my living room is their favorite intrusion route. I used to think it's funny that I almost never see them in my kitchen, but I encounter them usually in the living room. But that's it. The balcony.
I found out this fact the other day when I went out into the balcony. As soon as I stepped out, a roach tried to FLY in passing by me. How dare it!? Promptly I closed the screen door, and it was gone. "S***! Did I smash it with the screen door and the doorframe?!" I opened the door very carefully and very slightly. ...And, it was there, not at all smashed, walking up and down between the door and the frame!!! AAAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!! The space was like a few millimeters! How can it move up and down like that in such a narrow space!? You super-flat filthy greasy looking creature!! Extinct!! Now!! I thought smashing it between the screen door and the frame would be messy, and I would be scared like hell even to clean the mess. But looking at it moving lively like that, I wished I would have smashed it. What am I gonna do!? I had no time to think much because it came out of the slit to the room-side of the screen door. Hurriedly I closed the glass door, and it got trapped between the glass door and the screen door. I went out onto the balcony through other door and sprayed roach killer on it through the screen door. But it started to run around like crazy in agony and didn't die forever. In the corner of the window there had been a spiderweb for some time, and the roach plunged into it. The web was a thick, concentrated-in-a-small-space type one, and the roach got caught in it pretty tight. I waited until it weakened more, took it along with the web with 4 layers of tissue paper, put it into a thick envelop and stomped on it.
My heart was racing. My pupils were fully open. I was breathing like I ran a kilo or two. I prevented the invasion at the border this time. I sprayed the roach repellent outside the balcony wall, and because now I remember the horrible story I had heard sometime before about how they enter someone's house through air conditioner piping, I sprayed around the air conditioner compressor. The repellent isn't meant for outdoor use, so I will have to respray soon. But now I know that if I focus on this balcony area, my apartment will become uninvadable.
Everytime I'm fighting with a roach, it reminds me of Sigourney Weaver fighting with an alien. Fighting with something totally scary and creepy all alone with no help, and finally winning. And with adrenaline still racing around the body, but with an empty mind, I murmured "I got you, son of a bitch...!"