Slept away the freedom days

Ok so I haven't been around but I have (no) valid reason for it lol.

Let's see...

Christmas Eve I worked until a little after 8pm. That's pretty much a good deal there since I actually wanted to be busy that day. I don't know I'm odd like that. Like I need something to keep me occupied or I don't know what to do with myself. Strange indeed...(x_x；)

Once I got home my mom had these wonderfully delicious tamales made and ready and warm (not too hot or cold They were yummy. That's my verdict on that (pounds gavel)

So then the next day [also known as Christmas Day] I slept in, got up to eat more fresh tamales, slept some more, watched movies, and then ... slept. IT WAS AWESOME!!! I kind of miss my dear old friend sleep. We used to be the best of friends back in the day ☆-( ^-ﾟ)v

So then the next day all was back to normal and I worked early and then practiced guitar. All in all it was pleasantly uneventful. I'm weird that way. I want the rush of working, and I want the peacefulness of lazying around. Can't have both though. It's either one or the other.

On a side note, I haven't played my precious piano on weeks, possibly months. it's just sitting there... all alone... unplayed and unattended. That poor little (big) thing. (*v.v)｡ I'm so ashamed. It's my favorite instrument, right up as my number one tied with guitar, violin, and cello. How could I leave it all lonely as such? I can fix it, but later cause I still don't have time to brush along it's keys in any skillful way with my current schedule.

Currently loving (^ε^)♪: GazettE's new singles are a must have Pledge, Voiceless Fear, and The True Murderous Intent. Also I highly recommend Bouquet by Chihiro, Romance (from the 'Fear' OST) and Erase My Scars by Evans Blue.

Because the dreams say never

There was a sadness with which she would not part shrouding her in the madness,
It was belittled, unreliable, and ripped into nothing but shredded paper by the strongest of hates,
Intolerance displayed and reciprocated for the bravery with which she approached,
A late night test to the hope entrusted to guide her past the faith locked gates.

Across the stillness of the pond the sounds of night come alive,
The enemy perceived doesn't exist corporeally in the forest of white lies,
Color coded each one belies the darkest yet truest intentions of the world,
A realm forbidden and littered with wasted away emotions in gardens where everything dies.

Strange shapes fill the Sheetrock with the tormenting silence of suffering psyche's,
Splattered along the walls, drawn with the escaping life, screeching into the infinity,
Who's to say I'm wrong or right or if I should pass or I should fail aside my own conscious?
Clever how your astute hunger bursts through the last of my defenseless of wills in it's divinity.

Have you taken all of me or is there bits that remain inside the prison you've tossed me in?
It's taken all freedom of words to pledge my love to you in the merest of whispers carried off by the wind in it's spiral.
In the interest of lies, deception, and caging others would you ever lose yourself completely?
Drinking in the darkness is like being pierced by a double edged sword in it's affection and clarity you can't rival.

Say goodbye and say goodnight to the sitar the plays from afar it's reverberated melody in the empty halls echoing back to the phantom of loves past,
There's a wrong that's been righted and a right that's been wrong and neither will prosper in the end that's to come,
Above the shrewd laughter of the moldering world you longed to escape and rip me away from now sets the sun
,
And when the darkness fully blankets us all you'll remember why I left in the first place as you feel the emptiness of the missing love long undone.

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So my being sick is finally gone, not completely but the after effects are much easier to deal with than the actual illness so I'm ok with that.
And then there's me just being me. And 'me' just so happens to be a big weirdo lol. But being weird is far more fun than not. At least in my mind XD

Aside from that there really isn't anything else going on. Work is work, people are people, and I get along with the one's I care too just nicely. I don't even try with the ones that just want to start problems because why bother trying to be all buddy buddy with people that will do nothing but gossip behind your back and try to tear you down? It's pointless. I'm still nice to them, but not in a 'fake pretending to be your friend and then laughing behind your back' kind of way. Essentially I've known all along you can't please everyone and it's not my objective to do so. It's working out quite nicely for me so why fix what isn't broken?

On a side note, I realized yesterday that I am a rather clingy person and that bugs me. I mean sentimentalist with a high sensibility and clingy nature just doesn't bode well for me. I can't wish for a different set of traits though because then I wouldn't be me now would I ((o(-゛-；)

о(ж＞▽＜)ｙ ☆ ﾟﾟﾟﾟﾟ-y(^｡^)｡o0○

Song of the day: You are so Beautiful : Escape the Fate

単純に素晴らしい

So I was sick, and I'm still sick, and my voice comes and goes. But on the plus side... there's like a bright side somewhere in there. Oh! I am not so bad off at work. When I'm at work I don't cough as badly as when I'm not. For instance, the last few nights I closed, I had to sneeze every few minutes, but coughing was a minimum. The nights I didn't close however, those nights I coughed until I thought I was going to cough up my insides. It was so bad.

The "simply marvellous" part is due to just how I feel.

Yes I am still sick, still coughing and sneezing and still experiencing that odd squeak that comes with my voice when I speak a little more than it's allowing me (ﾟｰﾟ; but aside that nasty cold/throat infection I actually feel rather ok. Like... like weightless for once.

I guess I'm starting to realize that I shouldn't hide things, whether people will agree or disagree, whether someone will be pleased or displeased. I shouldn't do something because it's what they want me to do and I shouldn't say something simply because it's what they want to hear. It's much less sufforcating to be who I want to be. Yes some might not like it, but I'm not going against myself and piling up all this angst to keep up the image others seek me to.

I guess I'm finally beginning to understand your personality doesn't have to be compatible with everyone elses. Everyone truly is different, we might have some similarities as humans, but we are different. I still don't fully know who I am and we don't have this life bought for us, I could be here one day and gone the next, I don't want the memory of me to remain a false one. I want to be myself 100% of the time.

Seriously, I cannot get enough of Tong Hua. It's a great song. It's an amazing song. Wang Guang Liang is amazing on piano and his voice is just perfect for that song. It's got such a beautiful melody to it and the lyrics as fantastic and so heartfelt. I felt somewhat saddened by the video. In any case, that's a great song, and so is Lullaby which is not actually a song but a musical piece and Epilogue (waltz) for the movie "A Tale of Two Sisters" which I think has such an amazing soundtrack.

So yeah ... (*ﾟ.ﾟ)ゞ I was doing something and I forgot what it was

*:..｡o○☆ﾟ･:,｡*:..｡o○☆ I shall soon recall it or perhaps it just wasn't that important lol ☆彡

(*゜▽゜ノノ゛☆