My Thoughts and Feelings about teaching and writ
When I can teach something I enjoy and can really engage with a student, it is quite the feeling, and it feels like I can do such things for almost forever if all lessons felt as engaging as some of them do, depending on who I am teaching and what I am teaching (e.g., correcting sentences, pronunciation, intonation, business English, etc.)I also feel when I am in a good mood and in the zone when teaching, I feel like I was almost meant to teach, and it is all I want to do every day.But this goes for anything I feel a novelty towards. So, technically, it can be anything that makes me feel like I am doing something that catches my attention, that gives me that sense of "newness".What is something I can do that can constantly make me feel engaged and be paid for it?Writing/editing?I wonder why I feel like I need to do something immaculate in this world to feel good about myself. When I already have what it takes to do a lot of good in this world.I edit articles for a good company that also technically may expand to readers overseas. And I teach English, a universal language, and yes, this is seen as a "dud" job in Japan and most places for "native speakers" for quick money or whatever. But, on the better days, I am deeply proud to become a "teacher". I never thought I could be someone who leads others, someone who guides others through their struggles without missing a beat in helping them a step at a time no matter what.If only my passion to help and be there for them radiated into any lesson plans I actually was able to make on my own. But textbooks are there for a reason, to help teachers as a stepping stone.Am I refusing, turning away from something I am really meant to do in life? Am I meant to really teach? Or do something similar to teaching? I like counseling but I can't handle such a job where I manage many people at once.In this sense teaching the basics is more up my alley.I wonder why, with a job I grow to enjoy, even love, I tend to burden myself out because it becomes my world and I leave no time for other thoughts in my head but that one job I like.For all I know, after I get used to juggling my teaching jobs and my editing job. Things will slowly feel more balanced.If I knew I couldn't fail. I would either be a singer, lyricist or improve myself as an English teacher, or make enough money to keep myself healthier overall: mentally and physically. Use my time for self-care, occasional lessons, or some other part-time job, and just live day to day better for myself, and with Mehdi.Mostly, since I burn out on any CAREER I would ever get, I have to first, care less about my job(s), no matter what. Just be thankful for the good moments at my jobs. Because, apparently. "bycaring less, you’re actually caringjust enough."If I love to edit, own it, but I have to care for myself more, than caring about my job."It’s great to want to be helpful and make a difference at work, but you have to take care of yourself first. You aren’t helping anyone if you burn out and quit. Putting in slightly less effort in times of high stressdoesn’t mean you don’t care about your job; it means you care about yourself more."I always have self- care I can turn to: Singing, writing, going on walks, being in nature, talking to friends, being on my own to reflect on myself and my emotions and needs.
