Heartfelt English

Suppressed

A long road.Covered in blindness I can only sense danger around me.I try to go on my own.Hoping It wont kill me.But i know Im hiding being my mask again.Knowing that I need someone with me.Along this narrow path of dependance.Im small and weak.I cant see the world the way they do.Im too different from them to understand.My trauma is my wall.It separates me from reality.Giving me visions in my head of the unnatural. Paranoia is part of my existence.Its scary to identify whats real and whats not.Like their both un-separable.And they play around in my head.Like its more then just a game.Still, wanting to save you.And help you stand.I try to stay on the ground.While on the inside Im weary and insecure when it comes to myself.So how can I help you?If Im ungrounded on the inside.And invisible?

Found Molly!!! :D

Today I found a old best friend from high school in Hawaii, on Facebook.Her name is Molly Ritter, and I feel she is the best friend I ever had.I truly missed her when I had to leave Hawaii, I still remember when I left school in my car, I saw her with a smile... So i tried not to cry,but I failed to do so,and I cried on the way home.Its amazing what life can bring you.After darkness always comes light.I have learned from her today to be strong.For she and I had been through similar pain.I feel she has helped me so much after just one chat together.Im truly grateful to have a wonderful friend like her.She truly is the best..Im glad I lived on to see this day..Im glad and honored to have such a great friend like Molly. :)

My Lost Soul

I was 19,insecure,alone, lonely,and felt abandoned.. A misunderstanding from a parent,.. Changing her mind and twisting the truth of love and trust.Lead her to a self destructive path.Careless and unconscious.Slowly she kept drowning herself without knowing what lies deep down inside.Trusting any kind person,real or not.. she only wanted someone to listen,and whoever did,she trusted instantly..A mistake she regrets for life.Unable to tell the truth from lies,she gets herself caught by fakes smiles.And they have their way with her..One by one.She doesnt know what they did was cruel,but love..Her mind too twisted up to know better.She continues on,meeting more fake smiles as friends.So she thought..Until one night,it all came down on her.Making her feel the fear thats been covered up behind their lies.And her soul gets taken away.She dies one night.Murdered from the inside.Lingering touches that killed her slowly.He got what he wanted from her.Then left her alone to feel the pain,regret and shame.She only was able to remember more past events.Which triggered her to breakdown and dissociate.Alone in the dark,on his bed.Stained all over with his scent.She cries for suicide.She cries for her lost soul.Wrapped up with self hate and regret.Suffercating in cold blooded fear.She was never the same again.He suppressed her from living.But she keeps it well hidden.A secret still that has been long forgotten.Suppressed in her mind. Forgotten how to reach out.Only wondering now if time will really tell..Holding back the tears.Hoping one day someone will come and save her from herself.

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アメンバー限定記事Depression

アメンバー限定記事Therapy

アメンバー限定記事End The Silence