Single

So far "enjoying"my single life.
But I guess that every good side theres a downside also..

I find myself very lonely at times.. I don't mean I don't have any friends.
But rather, I guess I got used to the fact of you sleeping beside me for quite sometime before we split..

Its just that. Sometimes I would wake up from a dream, the dream of us being together. Waking up to reality really bums out because I have to tell myself everyday that you're not mine.

And then usually after I woke up. I would stare at my phone.. Dunno whether what to message you. I dunno what else to talk to you about besides pets.

I kinda got bored of getting " -.- " from you because well. I dunno what to comeback afterthat..

At good times you will chat with me non stop for a few hours..

Usual times we would chat abit then its done..

Bad times we would not even chat at all..

I hope this does not drift us apart.

Maybe this was for the best?
I mean if I kept on finding her I might not truly move on?
I dunno. But I better not give her a hard time deciding between me or her boyfriend.


During new years, I've blocked her boyfriend's facebook account.
It makes it easier because when I see his posts i will feel annoyed about it.. Sometimes even jealousy runs thru my veins.
I guess for this case, What cannot be seen is better, I guess??


I just hope if I ever moved on to a new girl. I might have the confidence to love her with all my heart.
Right now I am just not ready yet.. Guess this time its me who have commitment issues. =/



Alright then.
Signing off.

A long one.

Hello again blog.

I'm blogging again because..

Well, I screwed up in hiding my emotions again.

During the new years, she was on the phone with her boyfriend and I sorta have a commotion...

I actually cannot believe that after so many months, I am still back at square 1.

Its bad because of all the times I said I want to move on, or rather.. Hide my emotions so she won't feel too guilty anymore.. But things go haywire.
As I was too stubborn, the things I've said to this blog and to myself. Were meaningless already.

Things end quite okay during the end of 2012.
But its not good when its the beginning of 2013.

I've shown her my personal twitter account. Made her shed many tears.
And then I really hated myself.

I should not expose her to all my emotional blogs or twitter accounts. Because our feelings for each other is still unresolved.

Therefore showing her to all these might be too much for her and she will get hurt..

Sure, I got hurt... ALOT. But deep down inside, I've always felt that one day things might get better, Maybe someday she might love me without fears, without doubts. But its impossible right now. So why bother trying?

Maybe.... Things might get better? But not now. So Terry. STOP HOPING FOR SHITS.

I need to have a new years resolution.

I resolute. That I, Terry Chan. Will not give her a bad time. Will hide my emotions better than last year.
So she won't be hurt again.

She promised me that when she is single. I would be the first to know. So if she could promise that. Then I should promise that I would try to move on.

I think I could still love her. But I can't express it out already.

Have to keep a distance from now onwards.








I still love her.. But she is not worth the pain..
But.. She is always. Always, worth the laughter, the joy, the love, and all the good things in life.

She is still worth it.

Merry Christmas to me.

Hello, its christmas again..

Sigh. Same as last year, I was unable to celebrate with you.

When I was about to call you to wish you a happy christmas. I was unable to call thru. So I've called your sister. She said that you might be in Singapore..

Well I guess there is nothing wrong to spend time with your boyfriend...

i guess...

_________________________

Can say that this year and last year's christmas is not really good.. Sigh.
Last year things happened. And I thought hey, its not that bad. Maybe next year my girlfriend would spend christmas with me..

But this year she is not my girlfriend anymore la..
So things will always be different.

________________________________

Just i think rationally la. Its nothing wrong to spend time with ur bf in singapore, Christmas there is waaay awesome than here..

But i just cant really stop/control myself.
Breathing went heavier after it stroke midnight, thinking you're spending time with him...
try to surpress it but still its difficult la when I really still have feelings for you...

But okay.. enough of the emoness liao!
Lets hope next christmas she would be mine again.

Merry christmas peeps.