Hello again blog.
I'm blogging again because..
Well, I screwed up in hiding my emotions again.
During the new years, she was on the phone with her boyfriend and I sorta have a commotion...
I actually cannot believe that after so many months, I am still back at square 1.
Its bad because of all the times I said I want to move on, or rather.. Hide my emotions so she won't feel too guilty anymore.. But things go haywire.
As I was too stubborn, the things I've said to this blog and to myself. Were meaningless already.
Things end quite okay during the end of 2012.
But its not good when its the beginning of 2013.
I've shown her my personal twitter account. Made her shed many tears.
And then I really hated myself.
I should not expose her to all my emotional blogs or twitter accounts. Because our feelings for each other is still unresolved.
Therefore showing her to all these might be too much for her and she will get hurt..
Sure, I got hurt... ALOT. But deep down inside, I've always felt that one day things might get better, Maybe someday she might love me without fears, without doubts. But its impossible right now. So why bother trying?
Maybe.... Things might get better? But not now. So Terry. STOP HOPING FOR SHITS.
I need to have a new years resolution.
I resolute. That I, Terry Chan. Will not give her a bad time. Will hide my emotions better than last year.
So she won't be hurt again.
She promised me that when she is single. I would be the first to know. So if she could promise that. Then I should promise that I would try to move on.
I think I could still love her. But I can't express it out already.
Have to keep a distance from now onwards.
I still love her.. But she is not worth the pain..
But.. She is always. Always, worth the laughter, the joy, the love, and all the good things in life.
She is still worth it.
I'm blogging again because..
Well, I screwed up in hiding my emotions again.
During the new years, she was on the phone with her boyfriend and I sorta have a commotion...
I actually cannot believe that after so many months, I am still back at square 1.
Its bad because of all the times I said I want to move on, or rather.. Hide my emotions so she won't feel too guilty anymore.. But things go haywire.
As I was too stubborn, the things I've said to this blog and to myself. Were meaningless already.
Things end quite okay during the end of 2012.
But its not good when its the beginning of 2013.
I've shown her my personal twitter account. Made her shed many tears.
And then I really hated myself.
I should not expose her to all my emotional blogs or twitter accounts. Because our feelings for each other is still unresolved.
Therefore showing her to all these might be too much for her and she will get hurt..
Sure, I got hurt... ALOT. But deep down inside, I've always felt that one day things might get better, Maybe someday she might love me without fears, without doubts. But its impossible right now. So why bother trying?
Maybe.... Things might get better? But not now. So Terry. STOP HOPING FOR SHITS.
I need to have a new years resolution.
I resolute. That I, Terry Chan. Will not give her a bad time. Will hide my emotions better than last year.
So she won't be hurt again.
She promised me that when she is single. I would be the first to know. So if she could promise that. Then I should promise that I would try to move on.
I think I could still love her. But I can't express it out already.
Have to keep a distance from now onwards.
I still love her.. But she is not worth the pain..
But.. She is always. Always, worth the laughter, the joy, the love, and all the good things in life.
She is still worth it.