my heart

Im so happy and thankful!

Lord, thank you so much, You know how thankful Iam right now. thank you for everything. for the optimism and strength you have given me each day, When I was down you were there to show the light. You pushed me up and helped me to walk again. thank you!

my mom, who has been secretly supportive .. and who has been so excited as I write a new chapter in my life :)

my professors (im currently writing my thank you letters to all of u :)

sir dy, sir galvez, mam monce...
mam legarteja YOU ARE MY FAVORITE. thank you cause u were the first person who believed in me. thank you, i will never forget every word you told me. :)

to all my superiors in megaworld.. thank you for training me hard.. perhaps training me in the hard way hahaha.. also thank you for the sweet treats. :) thank you sir mikel, sir paul, mam kates, mam joy.. yes sir jared for accepting me haha

to my friends who prayed with me :) who i kept on txting every after interviews hahah <3

and to that person. who has always been my inspiration. seriously u brought me here, i could not thank u enough. im so grateful having you in my life :)

on love

i love love....
my heart is full of love...

the law of effect

i guess its the law of effect

the law of effect which states that a response followed by a pleasant consequence will probably be repeated and a response followed by an unpleasant consequence will probably be diminished

i guess thats what happened to me.

i know its unhealthy being pessimistic and thinking of too many hows and whys in life... i lacked faith in everything. i was too anxious. too problematic. too worrisome, was a big quitter. a coward who feared so much.
and the effect were mostly unpleasurable.. i got hurt more. experienced more pain. lost a lot of people in my life. got into many fights. was not in good terms with my family..... found it hard to sustain friendships.. found it hard to deal with people... became less and less motivated. felt weak.

but this attitude has taken its toll on me. im fed up with it.
my medulla oblongata has probably blew up cause of this.

i just want to take things lightly. be happier. find happiness. find joy. have more faith on things. BE MORE POSITIVE!!

and now im grateful. that i have finally learned this.

just like what i told my professor. this goal has a deadline. and I MADE IT ON THE DEADLINE.

happy me. happy me. happy me..

blessings come my way.
happiness. health. friendship. job. love.

oh life! :)

thank you

i was about to give up again..
i was about to get discourage....again

i was confused again..
then after 40mins I got an answer haha

its funny how it can change my mood easily..

thank you lord!! i thought there will be no next time.. for a while i thought about that...
but like what ive prayed for so long, I will get an answer this day...
true, i just need to be patient and be more positive..

thank you lord

tomorrow might be the final round..
help me again :)

thank you for the blessings..
im so grateful..

alter the ending

now can I alter that????

im excited!! not nervous haha excited because im so close to it..
i can feel it!! i can visualize it.. its near. its getting near....




now this is it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

firs time

i never wanted so much in my life.
never prayed so hard..
this is the first time....

the first time...

i want it so badly..
i need this so badly..
because this deserves me. this deserve to see how much ive done to make this far...

betsuni

damn it!!!

i have thoughts... and when i say thoughts thousands of them inside my mind. No i dont mean in a psychotic way... i just cant stop thinnnnnnnnnkiiiiiiingggggggggggggg

and i might be needddiiinnggg annn ouuullettttt


i have a friggin interview tomorrow and i get soooooooo nervouuuuuuuusssssssss which i dont usually feeeeeeeell in innnterviiiieewsss... but i get so nervous because iii ammm toooo exccciiiteeeeeeeeeeddddd tooo passsssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like i mmmiiighhtt pee onnn myy pants.. oh no not that haha
and thiisss iss a multinational companyyyyy baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im sooooo exciiiteeed!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



明日彼氏メッセジをする！！！！！！！！！！した法がいい！！！
どきどきするんだろううううう。。彼に会いたくて。。。寂しい
助けて！！！！！！！！！！

ME TIME

im kinda active on blogging again, maybe because i have so things I wanna write.
my therapist told me to write again... we both know that its a good form of catharsis.

its not that Im sick or emotionally sick or mentally wrong or disturbed.. Iam not.
it just that I have few time for myself. I'm always outside with my friends... and when i say friends, different friends from my different walks of life. High School, College 1, College 2, friends of my friends, friends from japanese school, Japanese friends, friends I got to know cause of a community, friends i got to know from former friends hahaha... then of course my family. there are really times that I just want to relax at home, sit, watch dvds, read books, exercise, sing, write a lot. Take care of myself.. a laid back life.. im glad i can have fun with different people and im also glad i have time for myself. Knowing that I'll be working in few weeks from now.. sleepless nights once again

music

I cut my nails already
because im playing guitar again..

this time im more motivated

for some odd reason I really like the song "thinking of you" by katy perry its prolly my favorite song at the moment. and prolly MY SONG at the moment hahahaha

and oh yes. i love the power chords of B and C#m haha

so close

turned down all other offers because im waiting for something bigger, something I desire the most.. something i want more than anything that has been offered.

people might call it idealistic.. probably? but hell!!!!!!!!! i already set my mind to this! no one can stop me!
i cant see myself anywhere else..


cause this is how my mind works..
cause this is how iam when i believe on something.
I SET MY MIND and do MY PART!

im so close to my dreams.......
sooooooooooooooooo clooooooooooooseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee