6/13/13

As far as I know, there are 33 students in the classroom.

19 girls and and 14 boys.

I thought this is going to be permanent.
I mean, I thought they'll be my classmates throughout the school year.
But I was wrong.
According to the teacher there will be reshuffling.
Some of the students in this section might be exchanged with  the students in other section.  

When my classmates heard about this, some of them, especially girls, are shocked  
 and don't want this class to be reshuffled. I think it is because most of their close friends are here. So school life will be more enjoyable if they are together with their close friends.

In the afternoon, after class dismissal,  my けっこういけめん seatmate/friend hugged me

"Goodbye, Ding 。・ﾟﾟ･(≧д≦)･ﾟﾟ･｡    "

he said that like we will never meet again lol
and he jokingly sobbed.
Of course I hugged him too and jokingly cried.

He also did that to other classmates.

はっはっ
It's funny.

On Monday, those who will be exchanged will be announced to the class.
I wonder, will I remain in the class or be exchanged?

Before I went home, I was looking for a certain teacher. So I went to her office but found out she wasn't there. Those who were there were the president of the last year's class and other underclassmen. They were doing something and there were boxes of juice there.

The president gave me a hamburger and juice. She said it's the extra snack but nobody had eaten it. I accepted it and offered a bite to her but she wouldn't accept it.

I said to her "Oh would U like to be treated with some candies?"
But she wouldn't accept it. She was just smiling and doing some things. She seemed busy.

Then I saw some classmates and ran towards them. I offered them to take a bite from it. 
Then, I wanted to go back to the classroom so I instructed weird classmate as I put down my bags on the ground, to hold the hamburger and juice and guard my bags and wait for me.

And then when I was finished going to the classroom...

I saw Julia and Pam and asked them if they like to eat hamburger coz I would give them.
They said yeah and led them to my weird classmate who has the hamburger and juice.
They took a bite and said thanks to me and they left. And then I continued eating all of it.

Then, I tried to carry my bag. But my weird classmate would stop me.

"No. I will be the one to carry it.", he said.

"No. I will be the one to carry it.", I said.

He said and I said that probably 3 times.

I insisted to carry my own bags. And then in the end, I was the one who carried my bags.

As I drank my juice, he asked me,

"Who are the ones U like to be your classmates throughout the year?"

I didn't answer yet. As we walked toward outside, I was drinking my juice, thinking.

As we reached outside, my juice was empty, I stopped walking and said to him,

"Would U like to know my answer?"

He said, "yeah."

"Whatever", is my answer to his question.

Then my weird classmate bursted out laughing. He sounded like an old man. I laughed too.

I did not want to tell him who are the ones I like to be my classmates.

If ever I will be one of the students to be exchanged, I hope I can still enjoy it even if I will be separated from the classmates whom I like to be with.

today 6/10/13

First day of school

I woke up 5:30 and I arrived at 6:35 AM in school.

I dressed up as an officer, not school uniform.

We were going to present something as officers.
Some of the girls (fellow officers) were walking towards somewhere and I was behind them also walking.
My eyes' direction were at my classmate's butt (ass).
I did not realize that I was looking at her butt because I was thinking of other things.
When I realized I was looking at her butt while walking, I said to her,

"hey I like Ur butt!"

And then she laughed and looked behind her.

And then I said "yeah it's obviously seen"

Well, she wore slacks for female and the slacks for female are like skinny jeans. So its shape is obviously seen.

Then we presented the welcoming of the school year with the wooden rifles. I thought it was going to be perfect but for the last command... instead of doing what the commandant said, I did the other thing.

Why the hell did I do that??

We practiced and gave my effort to make mine perfect. But during the actual performance I was the only one who was wrong at performing the last command.

Maybe I lacked presence of mind?
I was focused on what the speaker had ordered to the one who commands us.

Anyway, after that I didn't think about my mistake so much. I accept my mistake so I should stop thinking about it otherwise I'll just make myself more complicated and get into trouble. It's not healthy to overthink it.

And then in the restroom (where we, girls, changed to our school uniform), I heard 2 of my classmates (fellow officers) talking about me while I was changing in the room (they didnt see me. Idk know if they knew I was there...). But after changing, i went out from it and maybe they saw me walking from reflection of mirror.

I forgot exactly what they said.
So now I am texting her what they were exactly talking about.

"I have a question.
What did U talk to N in the restroom?
The thing about me.
I didnt pay attention to what u were talking about... Now im curious"

She wouldn't reply me.

Then I texted the other girl.
She replied me only telling "it was something about ur guts" and "nothing"

Im pretty curious now. They should tell me.
Why wont they tell me about what exactly they were talking about me?

Anyway, because of my curious messages the other girl finally told me "tomorrow i will tell U."

"OK" I replied just now.


Then in class... the homeroom teacher is a girl, she wore red lipstick and majority of us know her already coz she's our teacher before.

She seems strict now.
And she said to us that she would like us to be awarded as "most disciplined class".

I'm very willing to do what she told us.
I guess she said that because she'd like to maintain her reputation and pride the same as before (her class before got award of most disciplined class throughout the year). Or just naturally want to help us for our own sake? Anyway even if she does the either she can get her personal satisfaction. It's natural as a human being.

The teacher wanted us to introduce ourselves in a different way...
2 or 3 students should be in front and say about the other person. The point in here is that the student who speaks shouldn't say about himself/herself. Other student is the one who does it.

Some made a poem about other classmate and sang it.
It was interesting ^^
One student showed her talent by singing.
I couldn't hear what she was actually singing. Maybe she was shy.

The teacher encouraged us to show our hidden talents. Actually she wants us to become confident.
But only one student did.

I asked some questions about my seatmate and wrote it on the paper (the one whom I exchanged letters with).

This is what I wrote and shared to the class:

She is TJ <-- just nickname
when she is bored, she sometimes reads books
When she is ordered by her parents, she sometimes does not obey
She likes handsome men like G- dragon
She likes anime
She wants to become a billionaire
First, she wants to go to Rio Brazil with Pam(her friend)
Her hobby is drawing, and likes to listen to the music.
She knows how to dance but she doesn't dance well.
She wants to say "hi" to all the "BAVES" members (this is friends group in the classroom)
Her favorite color is orange.
Her favorite snack is bread.
Her motto is: live life to the fullest
Her height is: 169cm

When I got to know her height, I was like "eeee, really? たかい"

I told her I thought she was like 165cm. According to her, her height is measured in the clinic.

When I said "She likes G-Dragon" many girls said "kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa " lol
I heard he is korean but I dont know how he looks like.
I am going to search about that later. w

Well, I am a high rank officer.
My responsibilities tend to be also plenty.
That's all I can share now. I'm sleepy since this afternoon but I cannot sleep. I do not know why.

おつかれさま and good luck to me.

iPhoneからの投稿

5/4/13

We went home. Then we arrived in the island. Then visited the falls. It's my first time.
Then some of us swam there. Then we took pictures.
And then there's this quite funny picture.

It's a foreigner holding my foot.
I do not know him. And he also doesnt know me.
But why did he hold my leg?

I was trying to pose like that and my leg was shaking.
To support my leg and have balance, that's probably why he held my leg.

The foreigner was friendly; he laughed a little bit and I... I was just "hahaha "

Anyway, this foreigner just gave me a good memory.

Thanks for doing that ( ´艸｀)

6/4/13

I'm thinking about my future.

Of corz I should be thinking it.

After 6 days from now, my summer vacation will be over and school days begin.

Some of my classmates said they are excited for school.

For me, I can't tell exactly how I am feeling.

I studied quite a bit during my summer vacation but I still do not have enough confidence.

Is it because of my classmate (fat classmate who became thin)? I have observed him talking with confidence.

I think he is becoming a threat to me.

Oh, am I envious?

I do not want to become envious.

I must avoid getting envious.

Well, this school year is going to be my last year .
 
I wish I can endure it. I wish I will have no headaches. I wish to do things in my own way.
I do not want to care about how other people think of me. I want to do my best for myself.
 
Oh

I will endure it. I will have no headaches. I will do things in my own way.
I will not care about how other people think of me. I will do my best for myself.

It is difficult to control headache.
At least what I can do to lessen it is to study in advance and before I sleep and I should not have any worries.

I remember what my foolish happy teacher said to me.

"I want to see you being a valedictorian."

I am aiming for it.

Sounds like I am super strict to myself.
But as long as I enjoy what I do, there will be no problem, I believe.

I will have real confidence.

Why do evil?

When I was a child, I thought differentiating good from evil, right or wrong was easy for me and that it would be easier for adults to differentiate it. But then that has changed when I got to know some things:
 
In TV, I saw people were caught by the police for doing crime like robbery, murder, raping other women; women dancing and selling their body; people around me were having a disagreement and they were quarreling and many more things.
 
My mom, dad and other good people taught me doing crime isn't good. And I agreed with her.
 
"Why did they do crime? Couldn't they realize that what they do is hurting other people? Weren't they taught by their parents and teachers that doing crime isn't good? Why do you do those things when you know it is not good?", these were some of my thoughts.
 
I couldn't understand really why adults would choose this other way when it is obvious that it is evil. I thought,

"Aren't there many good jobs there?; Why don't they find a wife? Maybe wife is okay to be raped and it's no problem for her; Aren't there good ways to find money? I am sure there are a lot of them."
 
Then I came up into a guess that adults are unable to know what is good and bad. And because of it, I have thought of adults as foolish people.
 
These were my some of my thoughts when I was a child. My thinking back then was due to limited exposures to the world. I mean, I was exposed to very few experiences that's why I could judge easily.
 
But as I was growing, I met people with various personalities, there were a lot of interactions and I could get unexpected experiences that help mold my mind today.
 
I remember when I was in 1st grade, there were a lot of disagreement among us, students. There's a memory from that time I can't forget easily.
 My girl friends (classmates) were having disagreement. Then the group split in to two. They started to ignore with each other because they hated each other. I was told by them which side I am in.
 
When it was break time, I whispered to the 1st group which consists of only 2 girls (they are cousins), "OK. We are friends. I am not friends with them."
I made sure the 2nd group didn't see me or hear me doing that.
And they said to me not to go near them and ignore them.
 
When I was done whispering it to them, I went outside and whispered to the 2nd group which has many members, "OK. We are friends. I am friends with them."
 And I made sure the first group didn't see me doing it.
They also said to me, "OK. Don't you talk to them."

But the first group found out I was talking with them.
So I explained it to them that "I was pretending to be friends with them and that I am SPYING."

Later on, the 2nd group found out that I was talking with the 1st group.
So I explained "I was pretending to be friends with them and I am SPYING."

I did and told the almost the same thing to both of the groups.

I asked myself, "is what I am doing good?"
I was very confused at what I did. I wanted to be friends with all of them. So I had lied to them.

When they found out I lied to them, they betrayed me. But days after we became friends again. lol

I thought that was very troublesome for me.
So I said to myself I'm never going to engage myself in this kind of matter (fight) among friends.

Because of this happening, somehow it gave me an insight that it's not easy to settle a fight.

Of course several things happened after that.

Years passed by and I was growing older.
I was exposed to a lot of situations and took part in important decision making.
Knowing the difference between good and evil gradually become difficult to me.
There are more mental conflicts than of when I was younger. Now I think I have lost my perspective as a child.
I cannot see things which a younger person can see. Somehow, I think I have become like a blind.  

I imagine myself in the future I will become that person who will be thought by children as foolish person.

The same as when I was a kid, children will think and ask,
"Why do you do those things when you know it is not good?"

Thinking about this, I can't help but laugh at myself.

I think I have come to quite understand why adults SEEM to do the bad thing. :-)

The song that I like that I always forget

Yesterday, I remembered a song from my country. I always want to remember this song but I tend to forget it because it's not frequently sung by people around me (e.g. family, classmates) and I dont always think about it so no wonder why whenever I want to remember the lyrics, I dont remember it. w

Here is my translation of the song in English:

A Song by Group of Friends (1990)

You are always frowning
like you own all the bad feelings inside
How you look can't be painted
Did you already forget how to laugh?
Oh your snout is almost touching the ground

Whoever caused your frustration,
just think that life is sometimes joking
We are here, your friends who will truly sing for you
In times of sadness and joy, in difficulty and ease,
We are with you

If in terms of love you are having quarrels,
If in terms of money then let's not talk about it
We will not be counting it
If your problems are piling up
And you can't pay your debt
All things can go through negotiation

If you are seeking happiness
deep or superficial
Something in you is destined
Rely on us and don't you forget us
May it be often or sometimes
Despite our relationship with one another is quite different now

We'll be with you...

----------------------
What I like from this composition is... I like its lyrics and its tune. Oh I like the song itself. lol

An Afternoon in my school mate's house 5/25/13

My school mate (and also my elementary classmate/bulldog) invited me to take lunch in their house on 5/25 coz it'll be his birthday. He added that I can go there anytime while he will first get other classmates (some classmates dont know where his house is, that's why).

I said okay and blah blah.

*In here, people tend to have celebration when it's their birthday, christmas, new year, fiestas and many more. This celebration means getting together with family members or friends or not so close friends and eat. According to my teacher, my fellow countrymen like gatherings and eating together even with strangers*

On 5/25, it seemed that I was the first visitor (classmate) to arrive in their house. His mother welcomed me with a smiling face and his sisters also took their initiative as sisters of the host. My classmate said to me to have a seat and take my lunch. As I was sitting, he said "Don't be shy!!". His sisters let me get the viand first before them. All I could do was smile.

My classmate went to get my other classmates. So he left me while his sisters and I were eating. While I was eating, I thought they have good entertaining skills. And I, I... nevermind. Lol
All of them have smiling faces which made me feel comfortable.

Of corz それだけじゃなくて
His mother asked some questions to me. Like...

"Frey, do u already have a boyfriend?"

はっはっ
Of corz I said I don't have. Then she said to me not to get boyfriend yet. She sounded like she's relieved I don't have one. He told me his son now has GF and it seems he is serious with his relationship...
And I replied, "I haven't seen his GF yet."
Then she replied, "ah his GF will soon come. You can meet her ^^"

(I knew my school mate has GF coz I heard from other classmates and before. But it seems that I was the last person to know that this school mate of mine has GF. Maybe it is because I was too busy studying so didn't have time to have chitchat with some classmates...
Anyway the fact that this school mate having GF, at first I was a bit surprised. Coz who would think that this bulldog who sometimes bullied me in school when we were elementary students would be serious in a relationship someday...w)

After I was eating, his aunt offered me to eat some desserts. But since I was already very full, I said to her "Can I eat it later together with my classmates? hehe"
And she's okay with it.

After a while, bulldog arrived with 3 classmates. I thought "oh these are all my classmates. Where are yours?".
Then they started taking their lunch. I ate together with them but at that time, I only ate desserts.
Then bulldog said to us "eat all you can. You can't go home if U can't have a full stomach (^_^*)".
Just like he told us, I made my stomach full. I told him that I was pretty full. Other classmates said too. lol
Then we talked about some things like what we wanna become.
After a while, he went out to get his GF. So he left us.

There is karaoke. I remember someone told me (i dont remember if it was his mom or aunt) that we can do karaoke. So I said to my classmates, "hey let's do karaoke while waiting for him. Let's sing together"
They said "OK. But you should be the one to ask permission" ww
So I did ask permission.
Then we were able to do karaoke. At first we were shy coz there are other people watching but as we continued singing our shyness faded. Then bulldog arrived with his GF. But we still continued singing and choose a song.
Then it was getting fun so I encouraged them to stand and dance and make singing louder. lol
And then it was bulldog's and his GF's turn to sing.They were so sweet coz they were holding each other (My mind could say "WOW!" it is a surprise for
me lol).

Oh we sang for 3 hours already.
My other girl classmate wanted to go home already coz she has an appointment at 6:00. But she still kept on choosing songs and singing. Did she really want to go home? lol

After everything we thanked our classmate for inviting us I told him the foods were delicious and we said that his gift will be given few weeks later. I asked him how old he is and I thought he has the same age as mine but actually he is younger than me!!!! I never knew that!!!

Anyway, what I learned was,, of corz we are humans. lol

Actually what I learned from them was
as a host always wear a smile, and have good entertaining skills if I wanna make my guests feel comfortable.
Maybe that kind of person I am talking about is what my parents want me to do, not hide in the room when there are visitors. ww

iPhoneからの投稿

My ばか thoughts

some things I wanna do wholly:

- dont care about what anyone says
- if they ask "why do u insist to do this?", i shall answer: "I insist to do it because I am a human." <-- i meant i am a fool. lol
- dont compare ur life to other person's life
- dont overthink
- be understanding
- look at positive side of a person
- dont get angry at classmates easily
- try to be calm at most times
- try to respect others' opinion
- when i think it is beyond my capability, i will leave it to God
- be courageous/confident
- follow my dream
-seek for self-improvement
- give without expecting any return
- have integrity
- make life meaningful
- don't think of babies as result of human selfishness
- don't hate mom and dad for making baby
- don't hate my siblings
- don't hate anyone
- have good sense of humor
- be courteous
- say "I like you!" to every person (even to strangers) you think he/she is good
- love my fate

To sum it up, I want to become really good girl and live my life to the fullest.

Live my life to the fullest...
That doesn't mean I have to marry somebody and make babies and have 100 babies after and then have many grandchildren then great grand children right?...

I plan to be single forever. haha I remember some of my classmates said to me "liar" or "you'll change your mind when u grow older" or "really? If so when i see u 10 yrs. later carrying a baby, watch out." lol

OK if my mind changes in the future and i will decide "i want to be married", then i should choose a man very carefully, and the man should play with me and undergo a lot of tests from me before I say "let's get married". Oh but there should be no baby after we get married. I think it is painful to make it and give birth to it. ><

But if I cant find my ideal one or soulmate, then I will marry Jesus. I might find eternal happiness with Jesus.

Chocolate おじさん

Last week, chocolate おじさん talked to me on facebook.

Chocolate おじさん is the uncle who has chocolate colored skin tone.
He is funny おじさんです。かれは おとうさんと おかあさんのともだちです。

He asked me how's mom, dad and me.

Then, he asked me what are my interests (this uncle is free and bored so he talked to me).

Then we talked about the difference between "believing" and "trusting".

Then we talked about aliens.

I dont know so much about aliens but I let him talk about it. While he was talking, I was researching some things he mentioned.

He was talking about a certain book that contains things about aliens. He said what was written in the book is true. He said there are evidences that aliens are true. But I doubted if it's true.

After getting information from wikipedia
I find what he was discussing as FALSE.
That book about aliens he was mentioning had a lot of issues. Scientists don't accept it.

But then despite the fact that scientists dont accept it, he kept on defending his belief (believes in what te author had written in the book). He's trying to convince me by telling me this is how government works, they lie to protect humanity blah blah blah, telling me I'm still young so I might not understand yet what he was saying blah blah blah.

Then, I admitted that I'm young and need experience so that I can think upon something blah blah blah

Then this ended the alien topic.

Then we talked about music.

Then he asked me a personal question.
He asked me if I do have a BF. lol

Here are some things he said:

He even asked me why I don't have one wwww

He was trying to convince me that having BF isn't a distraction to my studies by telling me about when he was younger.

He shared about when he was at my age he could have GF and was still able to be in top 10. w

"Having BF isn't a distraction. It's an inspiration. Why don't you have one?"← なんか、he is giving me this impression.

But even so, we are different.

In the end, I asked him to keep my answers secret and he promised me not to tell anyone about me.

It was an entertaining talk.
このおじさんは、his talking sounds like my classmates'. Always laughing "hahahaha" or "BWahaha" and joking.

The next day...

suddenly he asked me, "have you seen aliens? hehehe"

This question gives me a chance to joke on him.

I said, "Yeah I have seen one. Wanna know who?"

He said, "me? hahahahaha"

He guessed it right lol

From this おじん、I was able to learn something.
I was able to learn what's the next thing to say when I talk to someone like of his personality. w