My Last Will

It was last week when my Christian Living Teacher discussed about dignity, morality,death, life, maturity, wealth and blah blah.

Then we reaced to a certain topic that made me asked a question to him

"Sir, at this age, can we already create our last will?"

He smiled and laughed a little bit and my classmates laughed too but they agreed with my question.

 "Well, when you are mature enough, you can. and have it witnessed by somebody.", the old teacher wearing eye glasses answered.

Since I was busy, I forgot to write it.

This morning, I wrote my last will. In case if I can't tell my future lawyer about my last will, and in case if I die, this will be my last will:

My future last will

- all parts of my body will be donated
*eyes to those who are blind
*lips to those who dont have lips
* ears to those who dont have ears
* genital organ to those who want to change genital organ
* hair to those who are bald
* hands to those who dont have hands
*feet to those do not have feet
*kidneys to those who need it
(if there's still something left, feed my body to the lion)
* or donate my body to the scientists
- my things must be burried 20 meters from the topsoil (cover my things with plastic)
- the papers, the letters I wrote should be placed in a wine bottle and the hole of the bottle is covered with cork. Then throw that wine bottle into Pacific Ocean (it should float 'till it arrives to another country)
- half of my wealth be donated to friends
- other half will be donated to my family
- my accounts on the internet shall not remain hidden. It shall be exposed. Whoever gets the wine bottle, he/she can acceess my accounts (coz my passwords are written in there). 

Maybe in the future, if I'm not dead yet, I might change this. Meaning, this is not yet final.

7/2/13

This is my duty for this week.

I will see this everyday this week.

The sky was clear yesterday.

Yesterday, there were no late comers.
It's good. I do not have to list something.

My partner is my bully school mate.
We talked but we didn't talk a lot.

Well, I have duties/responsibility

And these are some of my duties/responsibility:

①To assign who'll take the posts every week (I must assign 14 officers).
② I am the one who make schedules
③ Other than the registrar, I also hold the record of the names of all students in this school.
④ I must memorize all the commands
⑤ I'm one of the people who's responsible for the misdemeanor of all cadet officers.

Since I am the one who assigns who'll take this and that post, I'm also the one who assigned myself to be partner with bully school mate for this week.

My duty is like being a secretary. I have no experience of being it.
I want to do my best so I asked my classmate (who was the secretary of the class for 3 consecutive years) to guide me.


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今日から Let's be strict

The fault of one is the fault of all.

This is one of the mottos of the officers.

Meaning, if one person gets wrong, all will be blamed. All will get punishment.


Recently, the corps commander and the 4 officers behind her had been scolded by the new commandant.

Those 4 officers,,, it includes me.

"You are so lousy. You do not look like officers. I had high expection from you. Didn't you undergo rigid training?", he said to the 5 of us.

His voice sound disappointed. And the words he used are quite sharp enough to make a person become sad.

Last Friday, I had also been scolded.
My duty is to jot down all, have the records, documents, schedules, and etc.

He asked me if I have listed the new members. And I said I didn't list it. Then he said,

"Good."

I can't be happy with this. He means the opposite.

That tone of voice, facial expression, eyes, that comment, it sounded like he was angry, and disappointed.

It remained in my head even after the meeting.

"I know. It's a failure", I thought.

"U can still list it. Why don't you do it?", myself thought.
"Even if I list it, they might have probably forgotten it.", my other self thought.

It was around 4:30 PM when we were to go back to the classroom. It's class dismissal.

Then, before I could come in the classroom, the serious looking male teacher called me to go near him.
He said to me "didn't I instruct you to come in the ____ room? Where were you at that time?"

I was shocked and didn't answer.
I completely forgot about it.

"Next time, you guys should come in. I was expecting you to come.", he said in a serious manner. And then he walked forth and left me.

Even though he didn't raise his voice and he doesn't seem angry, it didn't stop me from feeling sad.

I looked down.
"I'm だめ", I thought.

Then, our homeroom teacher approached some of the students who are coming in including me and instructed something. While he explained some things to us, I looked inattentive.

I kept on recalling in my head the tasks I have failed to do.

"What's wrong?", my classmate asked me.

I turned away.

"Why are you crying?", my classmate asked me.

I didn't answer.


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Butterfly

Last year

It was probably around 5:00 PM and there were only 2 people who were still in the classroom, me and my classmate.

I do not exactly remember what we did there. Maybe we were waiting for our fathers, did our homework and cleaned the classroom again.

At that time, my classmate and I found a bird. The bird flew towards the door and then it got hit and it landed on the floor.

My classmate picked it and placed it in her hands. And I took a picture of it and uploaded on Facebook.

I was fascinated by the bird's appearance. It's color is dark blue. I touched its stomach. It's soft (//∇//)

Oh now I begin to imagine hugging polar bears, caressing cute bunny... o(≧▽≦)o
Its cuteness make me shed tears \(//∇//)\


This year I also found something. It's a butterfly. Actually, I found this from my classmate. He was playing with it. I asked him if he could give it to me and he said yes.

It's a dead one though.

I kept it in a folded paper (I made the paper into an envelope).

My teacher who is fluent in English saw this. And she asked me if I would preserve it. haha

I touched it and it is kinda soft coz it has some fur.

Around 5:00 PM, I planned to use this to surprise and scare my school mate (from the other section). He sat in the chair and watched the dancers.

I walked towards him. He was able to see me but that didn't hinder my plan.

I said to him,
"Hey, I have something to give you"

"What?", he said.

He didn't notice that I was bringing it.

I walked behind him and put the dead butterfly on his head.

Then, he touched it and jumped out from his seat.

"What is this!!????????", he excaimed.

He was frightened.

My plan succeeded. lol

Push and Pull

Based on my observation, many of my classmates seem to be interested in knowing and talking about human pleasure, making baby and things related to that.

Days ago, my girl classmate (she has like boy's voice and her character is kind of boyish) was surrounded by many classmates and classmates from the other section. It was during lunch time and everyone was done taking their lunch.

She was the one who explained some things about it. And other classmates joined and listened and talked about it too. My classmates looked serious listening to what she said. Their attention is on her.
Their facial expression looked funny to me.

According to my classmate, it is natural. We shouldn't think bad about it.

I think those who listened and joined this discussion seem to be open-minded.

Many students are curious about it.
Some don't know and some know.

I stopped listening to them and went back to my seat, opened the book and studied.

I wonder, at this age do Japanese students talk about it?

I remember what Japanese じじ said.
Junior high school student is most ero in Japan (student life). But this answer, I doubt about it.

Recently, my new homeroom teacher is that wonderful male teacher. He is Physics teacher. He sometimes make his explanation and demonstration interesting like... ↓

Teacher: So what's force again?
Students: Push and Pull
Teacher: OK, now show me an example of push and pull using your body. *call's my classmate's name*

The students immediately laugh, including me. We could get what he meant.

The one who was called was my 2nd gay classmate. He is 2 seats away from me. So he stood.

We laughed. The one who laughed the most was his friend, 1st gay classmate.

The 2nd gay classmate did not do it. lol The gay himself laughed lol

So the teacher himself was the one who did it. He did it in slow motion. Lol

What do you think the teacher doing that??? www

What a joke www

We students kept on laughing.

The teacher seemed to add interesting topic to the subject. It was probably because to change the atmosphere. According to him, he can explain well if the students participate like asking questions, enjoying his subect. At that time, the class was so silent so that's why he demonstrated the push and pull to make them look lively.

Lol

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6/20/13 hyperactive

Today I am hyperactive!!!

I printed the script that I made (farewell between hector and andromache)! It is for my groupmates! I assigned my groupmates as actors and actresses!

I noticed my fat brown groupmate was doing his best to memorize his line. Then, he complained to me "Ding! This is too long! Make my line short!"

"It's already been summarized! It's already short!", I exclaimed.

He continued memorizing it even if english time had already passed.

we were having a practice for singing so I told everybody to please please participate and give respect to the singers (some of my classmates) who will teach us.

I tried to get the paper from his possession. but I failed.

Then... he gave the paper to me like in an angry way.

"I won't memorize anymore. I quit.", he said. He was facing the ground.

I stared at him.

"Okay! Fine!" <-- kinda angry

Then I went back to my seat.
I don't know what made him like that. I guess he got annoyed by my talking and the way I tried to get the paper from him.

My heart was kinda aching and uncomfortable.
Then his girl seatmate came to me and talked to me while I was sitting in my chair observing the nature outside.

she said "he said he'a not doing it anymore" and "what do U want to say to him?"

I exhaled. And look at the script I made.

"I don't want anybody to play Hector but only him. I think he is suitable for this character."

This girl was like messenger of fat brown classmate and me.

So she said that to my classmate.

And minutes later...

while I was standing near his place (coz I discuss some things to oter student)

"Frey, give me the script.", he said.

Then I walked fast towards my seat and got the script and immediately gave it to him.

He then continued to memorize it though it's not the time to memorize it.

I'm back to being hyperactive again.

Well, this is a fight. Though it's simple fight.

Good thing I did not say anything like "OK! Don't come back!"
If I have said that, it could have worsen ed the situation.

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6/20/13 talking to Japanese student

around 5:00 PM

I was watching the new students dancing for their presentation for getting to know.

Then it's break time.

Then my classmates told me,
"hey, Ding! Why don't you talk to the Japanese in Japanese??? he's lonely and he got nobody to talk to!"

"What should I talk about anyway?", I asked.

Then they brought me to the new Japanese male student.

My actions changed because of what she said. From being silent, I noticed I became like weird person (like the kind of person who says "Oh!~")

My talking became rapid. Maybe it was because of my nervousness.

Finally, I was able to have eye to eye contact with that Japanese and I could see his face clearly.

Many students surrounded and listened to us.

"konnichiwa" I said and bowed.

Is saying that and bowing at the same time proper???

"Nihonjin desu ne-"

"hai", he said.

"atarashii gakusei desu ne-", i said.

"hai" he said.

then, my gay classmates ordered me to ask him "among these students, who is the prettiest?"

then I did ask him.

"watashi no nihongo wa tyotto dame desu. demo ganbarimasu!"

the japanese male smiled a bit.

"kono onnatachi ni, dore ga bijin desu ka?"

is my Japanese sentence even right???

The Japanese smiled. And then I turned away.

I was very nervous. it is a foreigner that I was talking to! and it is a Japanese!, my type! lol joke

But I was nervous really.

kussoooooooooooooo

then, my classmates asked me to say to him that they want to be friends with him.

before he went home, I said to him "Ano!... watashi no tomodachi anata tomodachi ni naritai"

what i wanna say is "my friend wants to be you as friend"

"ii desu ka?" I asked.

""a ii desu", he said.

"ureshii!" said

"sayounara" i said

and I walked faster away from him.


aaahhhh kusssooooooooooooooooooooooo

my speaking to my friends became fast.

the teacher asked me "freya, are U okay?"

"Yes! I am okay!!"

maybe, the teacher noticed my change.

aaahhhhh

I can't stop really.. my skin became cold. and still now my skin is cold! i cant stop thinking of it! i mean aaaahhhhhh kussoooooo

tottemo hazukashiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!

but I wanna become friends with him!!! my friends' questions seem to be like close friends even though they are totally strangers to one another. our culture is different!!!
it's my first time talking to him!!! he came from japan!!! japz might feel it's strange to ask questions like close friends when actually they r just strangers!!!!!

I showed my weird attitude to foreigner!!! How embarrassing!!!!! T_T

6/17/13

That feeling I suddenly got.
I remembered my memory of thinking people's troubles.
It was like I was able feel other people's troubles.
It looked sad to me.

I felt it 3 times today, all of a sudden.

The last part, looking at my youngest brother's condition, that probably triggered that feeling.

Shed tears thinking of it.

Sigh

みんなかわいそう

6/16/13

Now I'm reading again my Japanese friends' answers to my questions.

I wasn't able to continue to interview one of them the next months because he's gone. All of a a sudden, his facebook account, skype, email add., blog were gone. He didn't say good bye to me or to other friends. Other friends seemed to be worried about him, where has he gone. At first I was a bit worried. But later on, I thought I shouldn't be worried.

There's this answer of his
"Starting this year, I'll challenge."

それ すごく信じていました。

According to him, his English is baby level. And he couldn't go to good road. But he said he'll challenge.

I believe in that.
We don't communicate now.
I sometimes think of him.
I want to say to him "thank U, really. The things U answered, sometimes I think of it and it motivates me. I do not know what u r doing now. R u doing your best? If so, keep on doing it. Now I'm doing my best. But sometimes I become lazy. I wish U can achieve your dreams."

I remember he said to me "we are good friends ^^ "
And I think so. すごくうれしいです。

彼から I learned some things です。His answers taught me some things. Does he know about that? I hope he knows it. I got motivation from his answers.

He said he's not interesting and he's weak. But I got motivation from him. わたしには he is an interesting personです。


I remember there is a question in the class. "What are you proud of?"

Now my answer for that is "I'm proud I'm able to meet interesting people and even become their friends"

good night Zzz


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Japz とも

Now I'm reading again my Japanese friends' answers to my questions.

I wasn't able to continue to interview one of them the next months because he's gone. All of a a sudden, his facebook account, skype, email add., blog were gone. He didn't say good bye to me or to other friends. Other friends seemed to be worried about him, where has he gone. At first I was a bit worried. But later on, I thought I shouldn't be worried.

There's this answer of his
"Starting this year, I'll challenge."

それ すごく信じていました。

According to him, his English is baby level. And he couldn't go to good road. But he said he'll challenge.

I believe in that.
We don't communicate now.
I sometimes think of him.
I want to say to him "thank U, really. The things U answered, sometimes I think of it and it motivates me. I do not know what u r doing now. R u doing your best? If so, keep on doing it. Now I'm doing my best. But sometimes I become lazy. I wish U can achieve your dreams."

I remember he said to me "we are good friends ^^ "
And I think so. すごくうれしいです。

彼から I learned some things です。His answers taught me some things. Does he know about that? I hope he knows it. I got motivation from his answers.

He said he's not interesting and he's weak. But I got motivation from him. わたしには he is an interesting personです。


I remember there is a question in the class. "What are you proud of?"

Now my answer for that is "I'm proud I'm able to meet interesting people and even become their friends"

good night zzz

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