After the
activity named “Talents Nite”, all the 14 officers were gathered in the covered
to have a meeting with our serious teacher who is sometimes joker and also a scout master and the
one of the people who is greatly responsible for all the activities happening
from October 19 up to October 23. It was night time, around 11 PM.
.
Everyone squatted
on the surface as what he ordered as to do.
And we
started to listen to what he had to say.
He said he
greatly appreciates our help. But our help might be misunderstood by other
people.
He talked
and talked and we listened and sometimes talked.
Without
realizing it immediately, our talk seemed to go far from the main topic. Lol
The serious
talk between us gradually became an amusing talk—many jokes.
Then, in
front of everyone, the serious said “..blah blah..I’ll take care of Freya. ‘coz we have the
same personality”
「ええ？ｗ」was my inner reaction.
As he was
talking, his eyes seemed to become watery.
I wondered
if he was trying to suppress his want to cry or not.
As he talked
further, and with the help of what he said that ‘coz we have the same
personality”, I began to realize something.
I became
teary as he talked.
Looking at
his eyes getting redder, I wondered what he could be feeling.
I was
concerned about how he felt. I wanted to cheer him up.
But, I
thought it isn’t the right timing yet.
And I do not
have the courage to say “please cheer up”.
So I did not say to him that.
‘Anyway,
after a few days, this will end…”
“Yeah, just
a little bit more and this activity will end”, I thought.
After some
time he dismissed us, the officers held a meeting in the canteen.
During the
meeting, we evaluated our performance and the average rating was 8 out of 10.
We also gave
comments about the teachers and our performance.
While they
were talking, I took the opportunity to write my phone number and others’ phone
number on the paper because that was what the serious teacher ordered us to do.
After the
meeting, I informed them with eagerness that I would be the one to give it to
the serious teacher. And they agreed.
Then, I
started to search for the teacher. With a fast pace, I walked through the
covered walk with no lights, entered the building, walked upstairs to find him
and pass the paper to him. But I couldn’t find him.
I went
outside the building and I was walking at a normal pace. The normal pace became
slow as I turned my head to the right to observe the people who were sitting on
the stage. The place to my right was dark. I stopped walking when it has been
confirmed that the person whom I saw sitting in the front of the stage and
looking at the void was my serious teacher, having a conversation on the
phone.I was able to know that it was
him because there were lights that enabled me to see a part of his face and his
hairstyle marked the difference.
As I was
walking towards him, I thought that sir must be missing his wife (I heard him say
earlier that his wife went to the city and left him. lol) and sought for her
optimistic character to heal his current state of mind.
I was
hesitant to pass the paper to him for he was still having a conversation. I saw
a man behind him lying on the stage. I planned to give the paper to him and
just pass it to the serious teacher after he’s done with his conversation on
the phone. But that did not happen for when I arrived, the serious teacher had
already ended his conversation on the phone.
The paper
was passed to my serious teacher.
He thanked
me.
And of
course, I was happy.
Through that
simple obedience, I hoped that would make him cheer up, even just a little bit.
The instructor told me that it’s up to me If I
will go or not. Yes, that’s right.
Sir seemed to want me to change my attitude. According to some of my classmates, I seemed not to mingle with them and too serious. The day before Sunday, sir let me know his concern for me.
They seem to want me to change.
They talked like there seemed to be something wrong in me.
Currently, I think I don't really find serious problem in me.
"Change is constant”, sir said.
Somehow, I get the thinking that sir was trying to say
that if I go there, I choose to change myself.
I do not know if that’s what he’s trying to say.
I went home and thought more about it.
I decided I won’t be returning to school to sleep
there.
Thinking of missing a big part of my growth If I do
not come and requiring me to come to there and spend my time with them for me
to change…
Really? Is it really a big part of my growth? Do I
really need to go there to change?
That’s what sir believes.
I thought I could still change even if my way is
far more different from what most people think it should be.
There are some things that affect my thinking like:
"It's how you handle your life"
One can get the seemingly same result with the other person even if the approach of each person is different from each other, I think. I chose to sleep at home instead of school.
14 officers were chosen to be the working committee
assistants for the Jamboree. This Jamboree is a large gathering of boy scouts
from schools under the same school family.
These 14 officers were suggested by me because the
teacher in-charge of it (the serious teacher) asked for my help in choosing
responsible officers from 31 students. Actually, 15 officers must be chosen but
sir decided it to be 14.
Sunday (10/20/13)
I went to school before 8 AM with my gay
classmate. We spent our time there helping the boy scouts, teachers and the
instructors.
I saw some tents being erected on some parts of
the school ground.
I went to the admin building and saw our
instructor, handsome and macho, (he said so lol) arranging the t-shirts. He saw
me and smiled. I stood there for a while and thought he needed me. But I gave
up so I went outside and observed my surroundings.
When seeing this man, it makes me feel good. He’s
so nice. He seems to be adding love in his work. I think my impression now is
different from what I had before. Because before, without communicating him and
judging only his rank and his appearance, I thought he was scary and would
scold students who couldn’t learn immediately.
While I was walking, I thought that I should
really offer my help to him. But I’m shy to do it alone. And I also thought
that they should be useful. So I went to
the covered court where some of my fellow officers were there. I told them that
we should be helping because that is our duty.
Immediately, my short in height but bright girl
classmate stood up with eagerness. She was willing to help me to help them. We
went to the admin building. And from the right side of the admin building
(passing near the girl’s restroom), we entered there. When we saw the people in the admin building
looking busy, we stopped walking and watched them. I was behind my short bright
classmate. She told me she thought we were called in to help but it seemed that
nobody said it. I explained properly to her again to make things clear and instructed
her that she should be the one to say if there’s anything we could be of help.
She then went to them and we followed her. We had
the priest’s hand touch our foreheads as a sign of respect.
The woman with a lot of fats in her body but is
articulate in speaking English said that she’ll just call our attention if ever
she and her group need us.
And our handsome and macho instructor who was
wearing yellow green t-shirt with a military cargo pants ordered us to assist
the boy scouts in getting their things and guiding the boy scouts who have just
arrived from the city or other islands to their camp.
Later, scout leaders from different troops were
instructed to line up in front of the building. The officers, too, were instructed
the same thing. The officers and the scout leaders faced each other.
This was done so that each of the scout leaders
would have 2 assistants.
I was assigned to the shortest of them and my
buddy, S1, wasn’t there yet. We were instructed to get to know them a little
well. So we did and with our left hand, we shook. I got to know the scout
leader’s name. He said he’s Mark Vincent from UNO-R. I could see his name without
his family name in his ID. He wore a light
brown uniform and a light brown triangular hat that seemed to be made of bamboo
and saw a lot of patches attached on his sash over his shoulder. That’s all I can
remember from talking with him at that time. Lol
After taking lunch, the officers proceeded to the admin building, waiting to be called to help. Some of them took a nap. Others were talking and playing games. And I , I was reading the book I brought.
In the afternoon, before I went home, there was a
conversation among some officers and with the instructor.
The officers are obliged to sleep in the school
for the activity. I thought I was firm in my decision that I didn’t want sleep
in the school because a part of my body gets painful when I walk. But when our instructor said that I’ll be
missing a big part of mygrowth if I do
not come to school and sleep there, it made me a little bit shaky in my
thinking. Actually, that’s not the only reason why I do not want to sleep in
the school. There are other things. But I won’t tell it.
My teacher in FI*****O assigned to us 3 homeworks and 1 project at the same time.
It's many, I guess
One of the assignments was to make a letter for someone whom I like or who have been influential to my life using the language.
As I thought to whom should I write a letter, many people, mostly friends, popped in my mind.
But I decided that I should write for my bright short girl classmate. She is currently my left seatmate. So it's nearer and easier for the letter to be given. www
This is my 2nd
time in attempting to write my diary for today. The first try had been
accidentally deleted several hours ago so it made me a bit mad.
Last
Saturday (10/5/13), I and my batch mates went to school for practice in preparation for the
upcoming activity this December (probably).
As a high
ranked officer, I thought I must go to school early. Staff 1 (S1) also announced that we must have
to arrive at school at 7:30 AM.
I woke up
the same time I wake up for weekdays, 5:30 AM.
I arrived at
school and it seemed that I was the first student to arrive there. It was early
in the morning and I saw my classmate’s admirer wearing yellow t-shirt who
seemed to have just got up. Probably, he slept in the school for they had an
overnight activity. With his fluent speaking, he greeted me “Morning” as a
short cut term for “good morning”. Whenever I hear his fluent English, I feel
quite impressed and somehow it makes me want to speak more confidently in
English with him.
Before I
could walk towards the building where the classroom I am in is located, I
presented the reply slip to the security guard.
It was 7:09
AM. It was early and I seemed to be the only student in the batch who arrived
first at school.
S1 hadn’t
come yet too despite him who said that we should come at 7:30 AM.
I walked
towards the building. And as I walked, I noticed my surroundings. It’s quiet.
Of course it should be since it is Saturday
(no classes) and there are very few people in the school.
What I only
heard was the noise coming from the security guards. I could clearly hear the
words they utter. It was dark and manly and how they sounded made me
immediately come up with the thought that “if it is this kind of voice, it’s
coming from men of southeast Asia”.
The weather
of that morning was calm. Sky was obscured by the clouds. Leaves were dancing
as the wind blows. It’s not the morning that I usually experience during
weekdays.
I placed my
things on the stairs near the ramp of the entrance of the building and after
that I sat.
I waited for
others to come.
There were
some boys who passed by and seemed to have just wakened up and fetched water
from the water dispenser.I saw no
teachers except the teacher in-charge for the activity for the boys (not my
batch mates).
I stopped
after observing them for some time. And I gazed upon the scene in front of me.
It was the façade of the other building with a color of sky blue and the ground
which has some dried grasses which I looked fixedly at.
After a few
minutes, a girl classmate of mine arrived. It was 7:15. I told her to take note
of the time she arrived at school. She informed me that S1 was in the guard
house.
We didn’t
talk so much and she proceeded to the restroom and I waited for others to
arrive.
The time to
arrive for that day was actually at 8:00 AM. The time to arrive at school
during weekdays is before 7:40 and most of my classmates weren’t late to arrive
at that time but how come it took them a long time to be able to arrive at
school today when the time to arrive should be before 8:00 AM? Why did this
happen? Is it because they rely on the alleged fact that their being late isn’t
recorded and that it won’t affect their grades? Or is it because the one who’ll
be scolding them when they’re not late is not their teacher but just a batch
mate of theirs?
Sigh.
Whatever.
Today, we weren’t able to meet the admired friendly
leader with big stomach. He was just asked the previous day if he’s free for
that day and he replied that he’s not free for that day. So that day’s main
purpose went to trash. That’s my thoughtですが。
But the
cadets and the officers planted lemon grasses on that day. Girls removed the
plant from the land of the right side of the school. And the boys dug holes
from the other side of the school. I was with the girls, watching them and
taking some pictures of them because those are some of my duties. During those
times, I also had to run towards the new commandant for some questions. As I
was running, I thought that I must like what I am doing for I am helping other
people get information through this.
The
temperature was gradually becoming high. Girls and boys were working outside. I
thought quite a bit about how the UV of the sun could damage my skin. Good
thing that I have applied sunblock on my skin which has an SPF of 50. While
some girls tried hard to remove the root from the land, some girls were having
difficulty in removing it so other girls helped them to remove it.
After the
girls had gathered some lemon grasses, they were ordered to go to the boys’
area for the lemon grass to be planted. They went there through marching. As
they marched, I went towards the boys’ working area ahead of them. And as they
went near, the boys noticed them and had commented about how they used marching
in coming towards them.
It sounded funny to me. I don’t know if their comment
could be classified as a compliment or a mockery. Lol
When they
arrived, the core commander ordered the girls to plant it on the dug holes. And
I was also doing my job.
It was still early, probably 10:30 AM. I was
feeling sleepy. So I sat on the bench, trying to take a nap by closing my eyes.
But that stop when I opened my eyes and noticed the new commandant with big
stomach coming towards us. I then stood up normally so that I wouldn’t be
thought as I was slacking off.
Then, when
it was around 11:00 AM. The time to leave the school is at 1:00 PM. We went back t the classroom and from there, it
was found out that there were many students who did not bring their meal for
lunch. Staff 4 (S4) who is my classmate with big boobs was absent. As a result,
I was the one who became the in-charge of the admin and the collection of money
from the students as core commander ordered me so.
In the
classroom, I made them raise their hands and delve in their pocket to get some
money for their meal to be bought. As I
was collecting their money with the assistance of the admin officers
(Sleepyclassmate and 2nd gay
classmate whose fortes are dancing and art making), the core commander ordered
me to hurry up. It was still 45 minutes before 12:00 PM. I thought there was
still enough time to buy it yet. But I then came up with a thought which
contradicted my previous thought that I should follow my core commander’s
orders.
To ensure
that there was no problem, the admin officer counted it all and using the
calculator in my phone I calculated the total amount of money that’s supposed
to be collected from those who wanted to buy viand and some grains of rice
enough for their meal. After checking all, we encountered a problem. We counted
it again and again. We seemed to be troubling the commandant in discussing some
things to the officers so the admin officers and I transferred to the other
classroom and started counting the total amount of money. I thought the problem
could be either from me (inaccurate in collecting money) or someone lied among
them. I tried to check my notes again and counted the list of people who
already had their payments. But then it didn’t work. Then, I check my list
again and at that time, my way of checking was different. I decided to check on
the names if the names are doubled and BINGO. Problem was found out. After the
problem had been found out, of course it had been solved.
Then, the
admin officers and I decided to out the school to buy some food for them. And
before we could go outside, we informed the core commandant discussing in front
from the other classroom that we would be going. Then, we went outside the
school and walked towards the highway. There, we could ride in a vehicle for us
to be transported to another land area (another village).
I have just
arrived from the church attending the mass. The priest who gave the homily is a
new priest. He is kind of chubby and a short one. While he was giving his
homily, the poop (unko) of the flying bat fell upon him. He told to the people
in the church through the microphone what happened to him.
My mother who
was seated next to me laughed. But I couldn’t see other people laughing. I guess
my mother is such a joker.
There were
two new priests. Him and the other priest who’s quite handsome and gentle. My
mother commented about the voice of the other new priest as being “low”. But I thought
his voice was just right and sounds gentle which is good.
I did not
bring my notebook and my pen today for it was already 7:40 and the mass starts
at 8:00. I planned to use my phone as a notebook to record the homily of the
priest. As usual, my mother is the
lector. She reads the verse for the people and wears a white gown and a white
veil on her head.
I remember
my classmate telling me that my mother is a good reader. Of course my reaction
for that is “really?” because I did not think the same as my classmate. But
today, when I tried to compare her voice to other lector, I kind of star to
agree with what my classmate told me—that my mother is good at reading it in
mother tongue.
Before the
mass started, I sat on the front bench. And then, an old woman sat next to me.
I knew her. Last week, my mother introduced me to her but I didn’t listen so
much to what my mother said. I only know her as my relative living near the
mountain. My held her wrinkled hand and had it touched on my forehead. Doing
that is a sign of respect in my country. It’s value is like kissing one’s hand.
During the
mass, I saw a student from the school where I am attending. She’s a girl and
younger than me.
She’s not my
classmate. She looks so simple and humble as a girl. Those kinds of
characteristics make me like such a girl.
She once
talked to me in the school. She told me that we were classmates when we were
kindergarten (around 6 years old). I didn’t remember her. But the individual
picture of when she was younger which she showed to me made me remember that
she was my classmate. I do not remember those times with her when we were
younger. Probably she was in the other section. But I do remember her face.
In school,
she calls me “neesan” or elder sister despite us being classmates when we were
younger.
After the
mass, while I was walking on the path between two walls, I have met another old
woman but she’s much younger than the one who was seated next to me during the
mass. While she was walking towards the exit, she was holding the hands of her
2 grandchildren. I also saw her son carrying his son and his wife carrying
their new baby. I came to her and that
made her stop walking. I’m so much taller than her. She has some white hair on
her head and wears eyeglasses. I held her hand and place it on my forehead. And
after that, she asked me where my mother is. She also asked me about who’s that
Japanese standing next to me in the picture (She saw it on Facebook). Lol. Then
my mother arrived and we had some conversation. One of her grandchildren whose
hand she was holding is named Cyed (pronounced as “sid”). She is a girl and
cute. She wore a cute dress that suits her. The old woman told her that I am
here. Instead of becoming happy, she hid herself. She seemed to be shy to me
unlike before…
The last time I met Cyed was several months ago. Every time my family and I
visited them, she seemed to be excited and playful and she seemed to like me for
she showed a sign which implied that I should play with her. The behavior which she showed to me…I wonder
if she could still remember me and still feels the same towards me now.
This young
girl reminds me of myself when I was at her age.
Thinking of
my age now and how some kids act towards me… gives me the thought “so this is
what she felt (the person whom I admired when I was younger) when I treated her
just like how this kid treats me (liking me).
Time seems to be going by fast now. But when I was younger, time seemed to be going by slow.
It was in the afternoon--that I was informed that the man with big stomach but with a nice attitude was in the covered court.
I ran towards the classroom to get my notebook and pen.
And proceeded running to the covered court.
And there, I saw him holding somethig (probably record) being surrounded with students. He still wore eyeglasses, still brown and nothing seemed to have changed in him.
It's been a long time since I've seen and communicated him. 6 months ago was the last time I saw him. With the kind of words he uttered, and with his kind and friendly attitude, these were some of the things that marked in my mind as him.
I went towards him and joined with the officers in listening to him. I wasn't comfortable staying at the location I was standing. There were many students surrounding him. So, I moved towards his back. And with the use of pen and notebook I brought, I jotted down whatever important words that passed to my brain. At that moment, I felt quite comfortable for I could hear him well. But I thought it was a waste that I wasn't able to hear what he said from the very beginning because I was away. I think it is very important to listen to and jot down from such a person. Because this person can help us in making our performance better.
After some time, his giving of instructions ended. And the students were disbanded and proceeded to their respective places.
Before I could go to my respective place, he saw me behind him holding a notebook and a pen and after a few seconds, he asked me with a calm smile.
"How are you?" l
At that moment, I wasn't able to answer him immediately.
Instead of answering, I smiled.
He tried to remember my name. But gave up and asked me.
After I told him my name, he said
"I always remember you holding a notebook and write on it", he gently smiled.
And I gave him an honest smile with a happy feeling.
Our English teacher gave us an assignment since a month ago or 2. And that assignment is to present a prayer that can be sung to the class. We also have to speak something about it like our interpretation of it.
This is the song:
Yahweh, I know you are near
By: Dan Schutte
Yahweh, I know you are near, standing always at my side. You guard me from the foe, and you lead me in ways everlasting.
Lord, you have searched my heart, and you know when I sit and when I stand. Your hand is upon me protecting me from death, keeping me from harm.
Where can I run from Your love? If I climb to the heavens You are there; If I fly to the sunrise or sail beyond the sea, still I'd find You there.
You know my heart and its ways, you who formed me before I was born in the secret of darkness before I saw the sun in my mother's womb.
Marvelous to me are Your works; how profound are Your thoughts, my Lord. Even if I could count them, they number as the stars, You would still be there.
I like everything in this song. I imagined girls with soft, gentle and innocent voice singing this.
