Becoming really courageful-- that's what I've been wanting.
In the morning, I have attended the church. I was absent for 2 sundays.
Since my first attendance for the mass in 2013, I have brought my English notebook and my pen or a pencil.
During the mass earlier, I thought of something.
"Why don't you be courageful now?
"You want to see change in your community right?
"Why don't you give that P*** to that priest right after that mass?"
While thinking that, I felt kind of excited of my idea and kind of nervous.
Near the end of the mass, I wrote it and tore it off from the notebook.
When I met the priest, I said to him
"Father, I have something to give you.", I said.
And I handed it to him and after that, I immediately ran away from him in embarrassment.
IT WAS A COURAGEFUL ACT FOR ME!
I felt satisfied but also embarrassed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He knows me through my mother.......................
Few days ago, I assigned my seemingly stupid and irresponsible classmate to do this certain task.
Normally, I don't seem to assign important things to classmates like him (group mate) or not assign anything at all.
Because I'm afraid of the fact that they might not make it and the task ends up to be finished by other groupmate or by me (I've experienced this often times 2 years ago and they didn't make it and what's worse, they told me they couldn't make it near the deadline. My option was everything will be finished by me 'coz I believed if it's me it'll be finished earlier).
I don't seem to give all my trust to such a classmate who shows an irresponsible attitude. I don't want to take a risk. Usually my seemingly irresponsible boy classmates play basketball and exert effort there but not on their studies.
Sometimes, when I assign some classmates, I tell them "if U think, U can't finish your work, tell me."
But there're some things that are swirling in my head.
"How would they learn to be responsible if I always assign very easy task to them?
Heavy tasks are often left to responsible people.
Responsible people will be more responsible. And irresponsible people will remain irresponsible", とおもいました。
I tried to trust my seemingly hard-headed irresponsible classmate.
I assigned him a task.
At first he was hesitant. But I made an agreement with him.
I remembered じじ’s advice to me.
To reward my stupid classmates with money.
I thought I didn't want that. 'Coz it sounded naive to me. It seemed to show how much desperate I am. I wanted to convince my classmate to finish the task without them being rewarded with money.
But I followed this advice.
でも、わたしのclassmate didn't want to be rewarded with money.
Instead of money, he wanted to be rewarded with food.
The food that he wanted was the soft cake I eat during snacks time.
I set the deadline for it and it'll be the next day.
During the day, I kept on reminding him to start making it earlier.
The next day, I brought with me the soft cake happily and confident that he'd make it.
When I asked him where is his work... he wasn't able to make anything.
I stood there silent, staring at him for a long time. I was angry. But I tried to control my temper and not say anything hurtful and not say "tsk".
I was overwhelmed by my emotion so I said to him in disappointment but not angrily,
"You could have said to me earlier if U think U couldn't make it."
When I got back to my seat, I thought things again and looked at the soft cake I brought.
Usually I bring 2 pieces of soft cake. But this time, it's only 1 piece. 'coz we ran out of stack so it's the only cake that's left.
I had to sacrifice it for my classmate because we had an agreement.
Looking at it, I thought I did not want to waste my eagerness in bringing it and being hopeful.
And I realized how naive I was.
I should learn how to resolve this kind of problem.
After awhile, I approached my seemingly stupid and irresponsible classmate who was seated in his chair.
I handed to him the soft cake.
"Make the task. Deadliest deadline will be tomorrow.", I said to him
He smiled to me and said,
"OK! Thank you, Ding!"
"start making it now.", I said.
"Ah, I already made some.", he said eagerly.
"Good.", I said.
I hope for it to be resolved.
The next day...
He made it.
I was so happy.
Maybe, I'll start resolving problems like this through having mutual agreement.
iPhoneからの投稿
Normally, I don't seem to assign important things to classmates like him (group mate) or not assign anything at all.
Because I'm afraid of the fact that they might not make it and the task ends up to be finished by other groupmate or by me (I've experienced this often times 2 years ago and they didn't make it and what's worse, they told me they couldn't make it near the deadline. My option was everything will be finished by me 'coz I believed if it's me it'll be finished earlier).
I don't seem to give all my trust to such a classmate who shows an irresponsible attitude. I don't want to take a risk. Usually my seemingly irresponsible boy classmates play basketball and exert effort there but not on their studies.
Sometimes, when I assign some classmates, I tell them "if U think, U can't finish your work, tell me."
But there're some things that are swirling in my head.
"How would they learn to be responsible if I always assign very easy task to them?
Heavy tasks are often left to responsible people.
Responsible people will be more responsible. And irresponsible people will remain irresponsible", とおもいました。
I tried to trust my seemingly hard-headed irresponsible classmate.
I assigned him a task.
At first he was hesitant. But I made an agreement with him.
I remembered じじ’s advice to me.
To reward my stupid classmates with money.
I thought I didn't want that. 'Coz it sounded naive to me. It seemed to show how much desperate I am. I wanted to convince my classmate to finish the task without them being rewarded with money.
But I followed this advice.
でも、わたしのclassmate didn't want to be rewarded with money.
Instead of money, he wanted to be rewarded with food.
The food that he wanted was the soft cake I eat during snacks time.
I set the deadline for it and it'll be the next day.
During the day, I kept on reminding him to start making it earlier.
The next day, I brought with me the soft cake happily and confident that he'd make it.
When I asked him where is his work... he wasn't able to make anything.
I stood there silent, staring at him for a long time. I was angry. But I tried to control my temper and not say anything hurtful and not say "tsk".
I was overwhelmed by my emotion so I said to him in disappointment but not angrily,
"You could have said to me earlier if U think U couldn't make it."
When I got back to my seat, I thought things again and looked at the soft cake I brought.
Usually I bring 2 pieces of soft cake. But this time, it's only 1 piece. 'coz we ran out of stack so it's the only cake that's left.
I had to sacrifice it for my classmate because we had an agreement.
Looking at it, I thought I did not want to waste my eagerness in bringing it and being hopeful.
And I realized how naive I was.
I should learn how to resolve this kind of problem.
After awhile, I approached my seemingly stupid and irresponsible classmate who was seated in his chair.
I handed to him the soft cake.
"Make the task. Deadliest deadline will be tomorrow.", I said to him
He smiled to me and said,
"OK! Thank you, Ding!"
"start making it now.", I said.
"Ah, I already made some.", he said eagerly.
"Good.", I said.
I hope for it to be resolved.
The next day...
He made it.
I was so happy.
Maybe, I'll start resolving problems like this through having mutual agreement.
iPhoneからの投稿
Do those people who live unworthy lives really deserve punishment?
Really?
Aren't they victims of an inexplicable nature that caused all these?
iPhoneからの投稿
Really?
Aren't they victims of an inexplicable nature that caused all these?
iPhoneからの投稿
Today, I was the 5th presentor of the oratorical piece in English subject.
The oratorical piece was not written by me. It was just distributed by the teacher for us to memorize and present.
I do not know exactly how an oratorical piece should be presented.
But I just did what I thought I should do.
Criteria are as follows:
-Delivery
-Pronunciation, Facial and vocal expression, volume and quality of voice
-Mastery
-Stage Presence
-Impact on Audience
I was not feeling nervous at that time.
I thought I shouldn't be nervous.
And I kind of memorized all the texts.
The speech was probably around 3-5 minutes.
While I was speaking on stage, many of my classmates and my teacher seemed to enjoy listening to me or perhaps enjoying at watching my movement...
At the end of my speech, I heard the many claps of my classmates and cheered for me. It was probably 4:40 in the afternoon when the my speech ended.
I went outside and some other students who were able to see through the glass of the door my presentatiom congratulated me.
And I asked them why they did congratulate me.
Some didn't answer but just gestured thumbs up to me.
And some said to me that I did a job well done and that I can become a comedian.
lol
My delivery must be interesting. lol
I myself enjoyed speaking the texts and seeing the audience's reaction to my performance.
I'm really glad when the audience pays attention to me and enjoy my presentation.
iPhoneからの投稿
The oratorical piece was not written by me. It was just distributed by the teacher for us to memorize and present.
I do not know exactly how an oratorical piece should be presented.
But I just did what I thought I should do.
Criteria are as follows:
-Delivery
-Pronunciation, Facial and vocal expression, volume and quality of voice
-Mastery
-Stage Presence
-Impact on Audience
I was not feeling nervous at that time.
I thought I shouldn't be nervous.
And I kind of memorized all the texts.
The speech was probably around 3-5 minutes.
While I was speaking on stage, many of my classmates and my teacher seemed to enjoy listening to me or perhaps enjoying at watching my movement...
At the end of my speech, I heard the many claps of my classmates and cheered for me. It was probably 4:40 in the afternoon when the my speech ended.
I went outside and some other students who were able to see through the glass of the door my presentatiom congratulated me.
And I asked them why they did congratulate me.
Some didn't answer but just gestured thumbs up to me.
And some said to me that I did a job well done and that I can become a comedian.
lol
My delivery must be interesting. lol
I myself enjoyed speaking the texts and seeing the audience's reaction to my performance.
I'm really glad when the audience pays attention to me and enjoy my presentation.
iPhoneからの投稿
Just now, I am thinking about my teacher in English (she's different from last school year's teacher in English).
Last august 18, I saw my short bright classmate being happy. She said that she was given a gift by that teacher.
Just as I thought, it's not only me who's given a gift by that teacher.
There are some other good things that the teacher had done.
She has instructed and selected students to plan out for the birthday of my homeroom teacher.
And we planned out for the celebration of the birthday of my teacher. We surprised the homeroom teacher with balloons and cake and I gave him the movie I made (just pictures from long time ago and messages from classmate). The homeroom teacher was so happy and he said that whoever started this idea, he's so much grateful.
I think my English teacher is a mature person.
She gives rewards to the students and she seems to be patient.
In receiving something from that teacher, students appear to be happy.
As for me, when I received somethig from her, of course I felt happy deep inside of me. I showed my "?" appearance to her and she just smiled and laughed.
Giving reward as like "おつかれさま" to pay off the hard work of the students, it motivates the students to do their best more, I guess.
Someone must appreciate the student's hardwork. When another person notices it (especially when that person is important and someone you never get tired of liking) it's like an engine being filled with a high quality gasoline, I guess.
Another act she usually does when entering the classroom is greeting us with a lively voice despite most of the students greet her with a sleepy, bored tone of voice.
For me, her discussion isn't boring.
She gives a lot of homework to us which is more in writing.
I thought this seems to be kind of difficult but this is a good chance for me to practice my skills in writing even without sufficient ideas (I practice writing something even without enough ideas at first. Because in the middle of writing, ideas might suddeny come up there).
I like that kind of teacher, maybe.
Many students like her too.
iPhoneからの投稿
I am working my homework since 6 AM.
My homework is identifying important parts of a poem.
In the book, it is enlisted there the 4 parts of a poem. But these 4 parts are only some parts of the poem. Meaning, there are other parts of the poem that are not written in the book.
My teacher instructed us 3 poems (in my language) to study. And those are all found in the book.
I think this homework kind of difficult. To come up with ideas for the explanation of my answer is difficult.
First of all, I must understand the poem to be able to identify what part does this stanza of the poem belong so that I can come up with ideas and explanation.
But I don't understand some parts of the poem.
Maybe, I need concentration and I need to find its meaning in the dictionary.
Now I can't concentrate and 50 minutes from now will be lunch time. I want to write something else just like this.
Let me share something in my mind.
I remember something.
It was probably yesterday that as I walked towards the classroom where I stay with bags being carried on my back and held on my hand, 2 girls about 2 meters behind me eagerly greeted me with a smiling face.
"Hi! Ate Freya!!"
「こんにちは、Freyaねえちゃん！」
They said that to me. They are my underclassmen.
Although I totally don't know who they are (I do not know their names), of course I felt good and don't feel it is strange.
I reciprocated the greeting to them and of course, with a glad face.
Then, my classmate from the other section (the sleepy classmate), said something to me.
Then, he said to me "Aahhhhh! U became famous Ding!"
lol
And he mocked what the girls said to me.
"Hi ate Freya~", he mimicked.
His voice as he said it was of light annoying tone similar to the chipmunk's voice.
lol
It was his joke.
Actually, this is not my first time being said hi by people around me in the school.
Some of my classmates and schoolmates and teachers greet me. Of course, there are other times I'm the one who first greet teachers.
But in greeting some other underclassmen, I'm sometimes hesitant because they might not reply back or smile back or might think of me as strange.
Let's say for example, the new Japanese student. He is probably 1-2 years older than me.
But he is my underclassmen in my country.
I do not greet him because he looks cool.
But my girl classmate said he is friendly and smiles back when being said "hi".
Oh really?
I never greeted him without being ordered by my classmates.
I'm kind of shy to greet that Japanese student on my own.
But I want to greet him.
Before school year ends, I must greet him on my own!
My homework is identifying important parts of a poem.
In the book, it is enlisted there the 4 parts of a poem. But these 4 parts are only some parts of the poem. Meaning, there are other parts of the poem that are not written in the book.
My teacher instructed us 3 poems (in my language) to study. And those are all found in the book.
I think this homework kind of difficult. To come up with ideas for the explanation of my answer is difficult.
First of all, I must understand the poem to be able to identify what part does this stanza of the poem belong so that I can come up with ideas and explanation.
But I don't understand some parts of the poem.
Maybe, I need concentration and I need to find its meaning in the dictionary.
Now I can't concentrate and 50 minutes from now will be lunch time. I want to write something else just like this.
Let me share something in my mind.
I remember something.
It was probably yesterday that as I walked towards the classroom where I stay with bags being carried on my back and held on my hand, 2 girls about 2 meters behind me eagerly greeted me with a smiling face.
"Hi! Ate Freya!!"
「こんにちは、Freyaねえちゃん！」
They said that to me. They are my underclassmen.
Although I totally don't know who they are (I do not know their names), of course I felt good and don't feel it is strange.
I reciprocated the greeting to them and of course, with a glad face.
Then, my classmate from the other section (the sleepy classmate), said something to me.
Then, he said to me "Aahhhhh! U became famous Ding!"
lol
And he mocked what the girls said to me.
"Hi ate Freya~", he mimicked.
His voice as he said it was of light annoying tone similar to the chipmunk's voice.
lol
It was his joke.
Actually, this is not my first time being said hi by people around me in the school.
Some of my classmates and schoolmates and teachers greet me. Of course, there are other times I'm the one who first greet teachers.
But in greeting some other underclassmen, I'm sometimes hesitant because they might not reply back or smile back or might think of me as strange.
Let's say for example, the new Japanese student. He is probably 1-2 years older than me.
But he is my underclassmen in my country.
I do not greet him because he looks cool.
But my girl classmate said he is friendly and smiles back when being said "hi".
Oh really?
I never greeted him without being ordered by my classmates.
I'm kind of shy to greet that Japanese student on my own.
But I want to greet him.
Before school year ends, I must greet him on my own!
Yesterday, the teacher for the subject (music, arts, physical education, health) did not come in the classroom.
"Should I search for him as what I usually do when a teacher is late?", I thought.
This time, I did not search for him.
Everyone in the classroom were talking with some of their classmates.
It is seen in the classroom groups of people talking with one another, including me.
I intently spent my time talking with my front classmate who is a girl and has the chest and the butt.
I thought I must let myself enjoy talking once in a while (because I according to my classmate, I am KJ which means killjoy).
Front girl's seatmate, teased by my classmate as gay (but he is not gay, really), joined our conversation.
I shared to girl classmate about the interview that I did on some of my Japanese friends on the internet.
I also told her I had interviewed some of our classmates last school year.
And then, I showed her the questions I created which was not asked in the end.
Then, she began asking questions to her seatmate.
I moved my chair forward so that I could hear clearly what her seatmate said.
What my girl classmate interest her most were the questions about masculinity.
Since her seatmate is a boy, she asked him the manly questions that I wrote.
Although he did not gave me a lengthy answer, it was kind of fun listening to him.
My girl classmate and I could know better about a boy.
Then, after that, I suggested that it's my girl classmate's turn to be asked.
I read some of the questions I wrote to be answered by her.
In answering the questions, she shared things about her life (kind of personal).
According to her, last year, there was not a day that she couldn't cry.
This means she often cried.
I was intrigued by what she said.
I stopped reading the questions found in my notebook.
I formulated new questions based on what she said and asked it to her.
I asked more and I got further answers.
I have not noticed that she was feeling sad last year and that she got problems.
しらなかった。
While hearing her story, I thought I was so self-centered.
Ordering my classmates to stop talking with one another and be totally quiet (usual topic of my classmates are their feelings, and experiences)...
She also answered my question about her childhood.
I could relate myself to herself.
We didn't like the attitude of the housekeepers.
I heard so much things from her.
I thought it is good that I was talking like this with my classmate.
I could learn from her.
And the reason why I did not search for my teacher and that I just talked with my classmate is
I want to increase my skills in talking because it is a requirement for the road to my dream and I want to achieve my dream.
"Should I search for him as what I usually do when a teacher is late?", I thought.
This time, I did not search for him.
Everyone in the classroom were talking with some of their classmates.
It is seen in the classroom groups of people talking with one another, including me.
I intently spent my time talking with my front classmate who is a girl and has the chest and the butt.
I thought I must let myself enjoy talking once in a while (because I according to my classmate, I am KJ which means killjoy).
Front girl's seatmate, teased by my classmate as gay (but he is not gay, really), joined our conversation.
I shared to girl classmate about the interview that I did on some of my Japanese friends on the internet.
I also told her I had interviewed some of our classmates last school year.
And then, I showed her the questions I created which was not asked in the end.
Then, she began asking questions to her seatmate.
I moved my chair forward so that I could hear clearly what her seatmate said.
What my girl classmate interest her most were the questions about masculinity.
Since her seatmate is a boy, she asked him the manly questions that I wrote.
Although he did not gave me a lengthy answer, it was kind of fun listening to him.
My girl classmate and I could know better about a boy.
Then, after that, I suggested that it's my girl classmate's turn to be asked.
I read some of the questions I wrote to be answered by her.
In answering the questions, she shared things about her life (kind of personal).
According to her, last year, there was not a day that she couldn't cry.
This means she often cried.
I was intrigued by what she said.
I stopped reading the questions found in my notebook.
I formulated new questions based on what she said and asked it to her.
I asked more and I got further answers.
I have not noticed that she was feeling sad last year and that she got problems.
しらなかった。
While hearing her story, I thought I was so self-centered.
Ordering my classmates to stop talking with one another and be totally quiet (usual topic of my classmates are their feelings, and experiences)...
She also answered my question about her childhood.
I could relate myself to herself.
We didn't like the attitude of the housekeepers.
I heard so much things from her.
I thought it is good that I was talking like this with my classmate.
I could learn from her.
And the reason why I did not search for my teacher and that I just talked with my classmate is
I want to increase my skills in talking because it is a requirement for the road to my dream and I want to achieve my dream.