nothing important

I have many assignments today.

But I just let the time pass by without doing anything.

My mind is occupied with something. 

Tonight, I had a conversation with my roommate. And we happen to talk about Kuuki wo Yomu. Yeah, it means reading the atmosphere. But my roommate interpreted it the same as common sense. 

Yeah, sounds correct, right? But I beg to differ.

There's a difference between "common sense" and "reading the atmosphere."

Anyway, I asked my roommate about me and the Japanese guy.

Has she perceived me showing "kuuki wo yomenai" characteristic towards the guy?

Then, SHE GAVE ME AN ANSWER. 

She told me that at heart, Japanese guy might have not liked me asking him write about him on the profile book when we met. He often scratched his head, and showed (>_<) facial expression while writing. And he said, "I'm tired." whilst writing. It took him a long time to finish the task. That's her basis. She wanted me to stop him. 

Yeah, I noticed those. I didn't think he disliked doing the task that much. I thought he wanted to be given enough time to finish the task. So I didn't interrupt him. And I told him, "take your time." Why should I interrupt him? Stop him?

At the end of the meetup, I apologized to him because it might have been a waste of time for him. But he was sorry because most of the time for meet up was consumed by his writing task.

He sounded like he took the writing task seriously.  I like it.

On Facebook, he sent me a message thanking me for the nice time we had. 

But my friend interpreted it as his outward appearance side. Oh, I never felt that way. I asked my friend what she thought about it. But I never believe everything she says. 

The time I had with him was never a waste of time for me. The fact that I was able to see him with me, spend time with him were enough to make me happy. 

1st Day in the island with Takasan

1st day settings (Saturday):

outside Takasan's dorm

Meeting time outside his dorm was 8 am. He arrived more than 5 minutes after 8.

I arrived 20 minutes prior to the time. 

He apologized for being late. He told me he slept at 11 pm on the previous night. He woke up 7 AM on the day. 

I asked him, "why did you book a hotel?"

He said, "Reyll said her house is small... Eh? Was it better that I didn't book a hotel?"

"It's up to you. But you should try to sleep in her house for experience."

"Yeah yeah I want to... but I already booked a hotel."

"We'll take care of that, later."

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Do you feel nervous when meeting her family?"

"A little. She is kind, so I think her family is too."

In the jeep

"I thought it's going to be traffic today."

"Yeah, because it's Saturday."

In the bus terminal

We arrived 30 minutes prior to 9 AM. 

We were welcomed by a lively vendor in the terminal. Many people looked at us and approached me to sell their products. 

"Why does everybody in here know you?"

"I don't know. Maybe I look like I am a foreigner."

Takasan and I sat opposite to each other. Takasan looked around the place and crossed his legs. He never looked at me unless I started to talk to him. 

"In here, if you cross your legs, you would be considered a gay."

He looked around and saw men never doing it and believed me. 

I showed him what to do with his legs using our way.

He tried these.

But he preferred to do it this way:

Takasan often yawned.

He also scratched his head as if he was at home. 

When I asked whether he also does that behavior in Japan, he stopped doing it. 

Finally he asked me the question. 

"Why isn't Reyll with you?"

Takasan must have been wondering about it since then. 

I just replied some things, but I didn't answer the question.

What he might have not realized is that I just wanted to be with him. 

Takasan left me to buy some bread for his dinner. 

in the bus

Takasan and I did not sit beside each other because all the pairs of seats have already been occupied by a person. My friend was sad for me. I couldn't talk with him. 

-in the stop station

We had to use the bathroom. Takasan also used it. 

to be continued. 

-in the boat terminal (sitting and taking lunch together)

-in the boat

-outside the boat

-in tito and tita's car

-in the restaurant

-outside the restaurant (night view of the ocean)

-in the house

-riding a motorcycle

-in the park at night

Scenes with Takasan

I could enjoy my time in the island because my Japanese friend was there. Even so, I still feel something is missing. 

Last night, my roommate came back to my dorm to get her things. 

She said she had chitchat with her mother and her cousin about Takasan.

Their impression about him is he is WEAK and GAY because of his feminine movements.

If I had little exposure about the Japanese people, I would have said the same thing. 

Anyway, I had been asking for opinion from my roommate or friend about Takasan.

It was our 3rd time to spend time with each other when we were in Bantayan island (Takasan and I). Yet I still feel his attitude towards me was strange. 

When we sat, he did not sit beside me and chose to sit in the chair far from me.

When I asked our photo taken together, he did not smile. 

When I took photo of him, he would look at somewhere else and not the camera.

When it was my turn to be taken photo, he was always the first one to offer to take the photo, as if he didn't want this face to be photographed by me. 

When we were alone in the boat or even in the bus, he often sighed and yawned. 

I felt he did those things intentionally. 

I wonder, should have I said something important to him?

If so, what would have it been?

Next, I will write about Takasan and I in various scenes. 

The scenes are the following:

1st day settings (Saturday):

-outside Takasan's dorm

-in the jeep

-in the bus terminal

-in the bus

-in the stop station

-in the boat terminal (sitting and taking lunch together)

-in the boat

-outside the boat

-in tito and tita's car

-in the restaurant

-outside the restaurant (night view of the ocean)

-in the house

-riding a motorcycle

-in the park at night

2d day settings (Sunday):

-in the house

-in the shop

-in the motorcycle

-in the hill

-in the Kota park 

-In the house (lunch)

-In the eco park (swimming pool, cave, fish spa, and dinner)

-in the multicab

-in the house (dance)

3rd day settings (Monday):

-in the Ogtong beach resort

-in the cave

-in the pool

-in camp sawi beach resort

-in the house 

4th day settings (Tuesday):

-In the house (karaoke)

-In Mayor's house 

-Game center

-Trisikad 

-riding in the motorcycle

-scrabble

5th day settings (wednesday):

-in the house

-in the car

- in the restaurant 

- in the bus

-in the boat terminal

-in the boat

-in the bus

-in the jeep

Bad Dream- Youngest Brother

This early morning, I had a dream.

I dreamt that my mother went home without my youngest brother.

The ship they were in was wrecked.

My mom was rescued but she couldn't save my brother because he was at the top of the ship. And whether my brother was alive or not was yet to be found out.

I cried so hard and my heart ached upon knowing my brother was left on his own.

I scolded my mother while I cried so hard.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE!!??"

But in the dream, my mother looked calm.

"Because it was at the top. You, have you yourself ever tried to follow him to such an extent?", my mother answered me.

If she tried to rescue my brother, both of them might have been died.

I just cried so hard. I was frustrated.

At that time, my mother couldn't understand my feeling. I was annoyed by her attitude not doing anything to find my brother.

All she just did was wait for the announcement of the rescuers for
my brother.

It may sound stupid, but I felt I wanted my mother to go to the wrecked ship again and save my brother herself.




When I woke up, my eyes were really shedding tears.

Through that dream, I realized I love my youngest brother regardless of his Autism which troubles me so much.


iPhoneからの投稿

Bantayan Island

I let my roommate and Takasan meet each other so she can give tips to Takasan about the island that Takasan may want to go for a vacation as she lives there. And somehow, my roommate invited him to go to her island with us. 

We were in Bantayan island since Dec. 17-21. On the 21st we had to leave the island.

I was with Takasan (my Japanese friend), my roommate, and her cousin. We went to the island by bus and by boat. 

We were welcomed by my roommate's family with warmth. 

Most of our everyday meals consist of seafoods.

We ate scallops, baliad (I dont know the english term), crabs, sweet and sour (fish), etc..

Seafoods are expensive. But in my roommate's house we could eat all of those for free. 

My roommate lives near the sea, and her island is known for fishing ground. AND beautiful resort and beaches. 

This is my roommate and I. 

Takasan and I

Of all photos with Takasan, I like this one best. We look candid in this photo and Takasan seems to really enjoy the scene with me. It was he who encouraged to have more JUMP photos. 

I have many other photos with Takasan, but I notice Takasan did not show his teeth or smile when we two were photographed. Why is it so? Is he shy towards me? Does he hate me?

Takasan and I are friends. In fact, I let him sign the friendship contract paper and had him fill in the blanks of my profile notebook. 

His attitude to  me in general is not open, I think. It's actually bothering me. It might be because of me being shy towards him. I didn't talk with him so much, even when I wanted to. I really want to be playful with him like my treatment towards other people. But I couldn't hug him, touch him, etc.

For me, touch is very important, even in friendships.

I consider that if I touch him, he might think I like him as a man and he would think other people would consider us a couple. But actually, that's not the case in here. 

Also I didn't show him enough my care. I tried to but he seems to refuse it. If he is shy, what reason should he be shy? I REALLY WONDER WHY. 

I sometimes tell him of the Japanese men I met and what we did together. I tell him so because I want to know more about them. I hope he doesn't misunderstand it. 

Maybe, we need several times to bond together so he can finally be open towards me. And I have to educate him more about our culture. 

Then, we went to a cave, and Takasan and I explored it. We played a game.

Whoever holds his/her breath longer underwater is the winner. 

In the game, I could hold my breath for 40 seconds whilst he, for 43 seconds. But Takasan might have been generous towards me. I mean that's not his real breath limit. 

Oh yeah, most of this article is about Takasan. Yeah, of course I like Takasan. But only as friend. hehe

This is my roommate and Takasan

We tried to bury him with sand. But I didn't want to put sand on his pants. I'm so shy 

This is another beach we went to. It's quite dirty, and we didn't swim in there because we were scared of sea urchins.

This is a photo of Takasan, which I took. He wanted to take photo with the street dog. And he posed like the dog. haha

Surprisingly, he looked energetic with the dog. 

We also went to this place. And together we ate delicious ice cream.

This is my roommate and Takasan.

We also hiked a hill. 

to be continued

too excited

Yesterday, I met again the Japanese guy. first, we took dinner together with my friend. and then we went to cafe. the japanese thanked me on FB for nice time. hmmm anyway, my attitude becomes different when I talk to more than 1 person. i like only 1 person best. but during our conversation, we were to meet again for a hang out in another island. my friend invited him to go to there island with me. wow.

I couldn't sleep last night because I was too excited.
Maybe I like my Japanese friend, but not as a man. I just like him.

maybe he will go back to Japan in february.

what should we do!?
 

Anyway, this is the first photo of yesterday. He showed his teeth when he smiled! Too bad though the flash was covered so I had to adjust the light of the photo. 

I also like this photo, but this time, he didn't show his teeth. 

What do you think? www 

Tomorrow is the finally the day we go together to the island. 

I hope he finally replies to me tonight.

iPhoneからの投稿

Merry Christmas! - Cebu Green Project

This morning, the Cebu Green Project volunteers picked up trash along the streets of the downtown.

I expected some people to come, but they never came. 

Anyway, as we picked up trash, we gave snacks to the street children!

They were so happy to receive it! But one incident made me felt scared. 

One of them, who is a street mom, got money from one of the volunteers. When she got it, she jumped out of happiness and ran around, showing her other friends what she got. She was overjoyed and acted like crazy that other people stopped to observe her.  Her street friends got jealous of her and tried to rob the money from her. The baby that the excited street mom was carrying cried.  I bet the street mom never received such amount of money before. It was good for her to receive it, but the whole scene made me felt scared and nervous for the baby because it might fall down or be hit by something as she expressed her happiness. 

I would never act clumsily like that if something precious to me, like a baby, is with me. 

Anyway, it was raining and we stayed in a place for shelter. As we rested, some of the members and I sang Japanese songs. Even the other owner of the cafe sang with us!

But I was impressed by one member who knew many Japanese songs. Come to think of it, he is not Japanese! I felt I have become outdated! 

But that's not my main reason I love Japanese culture. 

Cebu Green Project's goal is to spread awareness to others about our pick up trash and to encourage them refraining from throwing trash anywhere. But to be honest, I didn't feel satisfied. It may be because I was not able to talk so much with the Japanese. To tell you the truth, until now I have never talked one-on-one with the Japanese host or organizer. T_T I want to talk with him so much, but I am so concerned he might get disinterested! He is straight to the point and LIKES being PRODUCTIVE very much. Then, I dont know him so much but I feel he has lost much of his Japanese characteristic due to the adaptation of our culture.  

Indeed I was able to attend some of the exclusive meetings for the group, but later on I realized I was able to attend it because of my KUUKI wo YOMENAI aspect. (T_T)

I like to be with the Japanese and talk with the Japanese, but in this group, I tend to feel lonely and shy. 

Maybe after all my intention for joining this group is not about picking up trash, but bonding with the Japanese people and extracting information about their culture through them.

Roommate's Christmas Tree

Since the other day, my roommate and her group mates have been working in our dorm for their project in Environmental Ecology subject. 

I took up this subject before, but my groupmates and I had never made a product such as this!! 

I am so impressed by them. 

The concept of such christmas tree is taken from the internet. There were problems among the group, such as lack of cooperation among group members. Even so, when one or only 2 out of 5 members were present for the project making during the day, they didn't waste their time thinking about how incompetent their members were. Instead, they just continued to make the project silently until the end of the day. That's the positive side, and I admire it. 

However, responsibilities must be distributed equally among the group members. Equally here means appropriate to member's skill and competence. Planning for task delegation is important. 

Yeah, I can plan for it. And when I can think of an ideal way, I tend not to listen to others. 

I wish my people I work with are like my roommate. 

My roommate is so eager to learn some things from me. When I come up with good idea, she supports me wholeheartedly and she's happy to be taught by me. I like to teach her and she likes to receive my teaching. So far, my roommate and I have never fought with each other. I wish my roommate continues to support me. I will also continue to support her and fill in her needs. We believe each other!!

Now my roommate is making her assignment #1, as given by me! 

I am so encouraged! 

Thank you so much, Roommate! 1 year is short, so let's spend our days and nights meaningfully!

New Friend!!

Yesterday after class, M-san took me to her dorm to meet her Japanese friend who lives next to her room.

But before that, M-san and I went to my dorm first to change my sandals into slippers.  

So we went together to her dorm and I waited in their cafetaria.

M-san said her friend is shy. 

Her friend arrived at 5 PM, that's the meeting time. 

At first I felt confused. I thought M-san and her friend were going to talk about their plan for their trip, so I was just there to listen.

But later on I felt there was a misunderstanding among us. 

Thankfully, as the time passed by, when M-san had to go and leave me and her friend, the guy seemed to realize something was not right there; it was because of misunderstanding. 

Later on, the guy seemed to be open more than at first. lol

He looked soooo funny 

Then, he told me his feeling that the previous Japanese guys I met must have been playboys! (But I don't think so; in fact they were decent and good gentlemen). 

I could have good time with him, and we ate dinner together.

At first he told me, "where do you like to eat?"

I insist on relying on him.

"Is it really ok?", he said.

"Yeah", I said.

So  we ate in a pongko-pongko shop wherein we have to use our hands instead of spoon to eat the food. 

He said it was his first time. lol 

I didn't think he was "that" shy. 

I think he was a nice guy and also cute 

And he told me, "you have pure heart!" 

What does he mean by that 

He told me if I know a good restaurant, I should tell it to him. 

We exchanged our full names so that we can contact each other through FB. 

Anyway, we went back to his dorm, and I asked the security guard to take a photo of ourselves 

What do you think when you see this photo?

Do you like him?

My roommate said he is cute. 

So when I arrived at my dorm, I sent message to M-san thanking her and that I enjoyed my time with the guy. She was happy and said maybe we can hang out together someday. 

Yes, of course! 

Yesterday, I couldn't sleep well. It might because I was tired and I often thought of the event. lol 

Just wait for me, roommate!

What will you feel if something important to you is lost?

This evening, as I was working with my laptop, I heard my roommate grumbling.

"What's the matter?", I asked. 

"My files have disappeared!!"

The files she meant were for school stuff. Without it, she has to start all over again. 

"Diana caused this!"

Diana is her friend to whom she lent her laptop. 

I tried to help her. I just thought some malware caused the files to be hidden. 

But it wasn't.

My roommate tried to contact the girl to explain to her what she did to her laptop, but she was unreachable. 

I looked at my rommmate who was about to shed tears in desperation.  

As her final decision, she said she would never lend her laptop to anybody.

Did her friend delete it? Why would her friend delete the files that are not hers?

I tried to interrogate my roommate about her assignments. But the deadline is tomorrow. 

Anyway, I have to finish my homework as soon as possible so I can help her with her assignments. 

Ever since she became my roommate, I felt my spirits uplifted. 

Good night.