M-chan <3

February 1, 2017 4:30 PM~ (Wednesday)

After class, I spent about an hour chatting with M-chan.

We were the only people in the classroom, until other came an hour later...

M-chan and I started off the conversation with Nemawashi, a Japanese management technique. 

At that time, I enjoyed talking with her so much. 

M-chan disclosed to me 2 interesting stories about her. 

M-chan disclosed to me that she had a friend at a university in Japan, whom she regards as a close friend. But the friendship meant nothing to her when she came to my country as an exchange student. Because M-chan felt she was exploited by her. 

For one thing, her friend contacted her on Facebook and pleaded her if she could use her name for the interview. But to M-chan, such request from  her isn't acceptable because they only met and talked very few times. 

I might have not known the whole story. But based on what she said, I woudn't think of the action as an EXPLOITATION, as the word carries a negative connotation.

Based on my experiences with other people in my place, I think it is common for people to ask for help from other people even though they've only met and talked for a few times. 

And in my own opinion, I would regard the request as a way to bond and improve the relationship with the other person. A friend is someone who fills your need. 

Why would M-chan regard it as an exploitation?

M-chan could have directly told her NO or decline her request. 

Oh! Maybe she thinks that if she declines the offer, something bad will happen to her...

I wonder about this stuff because many people, close or not, often asked me to do some things for them. All I say is "YES" or accept it. And if I can't, I would decline it. 

I always think that request from others (people in my place) can be made of optimal use for the betterment of one's self. 

Anyway, I don't know the elements of M-chan's situation. 

But every person has the power to choose which path of life to go. 

The next thing she disclosed to me is about her Family. 

At first I thought that M-chan had a wonderful family. Because she was very pleasant to deal with. She's a nice girl. But I realized that's not always true. Her parents are divorced. And her elder brother quit the university. 

When M-chan disclosed me about her family, I felt that our friendship stepped into a higher level. 

Our conversation couldn't go on because other noisy students came. 

But even after that, I was left reflecting the entire conversation I had just had with M-chan. She's such a nice girl!!

I always hope that my relationship with her advances as we go on with our daily lives because I like her very much.

Raising Vibration

Lately, I could make good friends with Japanese people, and I'm inspired to do my best for them. 

How can I do my best?

Hmmm

Before I used to have several notebooks for keeping records of different subject matters (personal). But I never finished them. I promised to write on them everyday, yet sometimes I would skip. I had too many things to write. But now I will change it. 

Recently I found ways to raise vibration. It's like the energy that one has and that is being bounced off to other people.

2 things from here that I must follow are:

"find something beautiful and appreciate it" and

"be conscious of the food you eat."

Many people say I'm fabulous because I look good. 

But what they don't know is that I'm not mindful of the food I eat. 

I just eat anything delicious without being cautious of its nutritional content. 

Finding something beautiful and appreciating it...

Oh, I can do that. However, my thought tends to wander and I forget it. 

So I will keep a record of the beautiful things in my life and my surroundings everyday. hehe 

I hope to keep up my good relation with M-san, T-san, my, Korean friend, and of course, my beloved roommate. 

Other people will come by or drop in our lives. 

When they enter my life, I hope to welcome them with a big smile and a big heart. ehehe 

We'll share positive energy with one another. hehehe 

See you 

Confession of Love

Last night, my Korean friend and I visited my Japanese girlfriend in her dorm. They encouraged me to confess to the guy, and we practised. lol

But their was advice to me was "be natural!" also, when I confess, I look straightly at the guy's eyes.

After 3 hours of spending time with her, the Japanese guy already arrived in the dorm. We talked for awhile, after that most of it was silence.

So I wrote to my Japanese friend by phone that I want to confess to him right at that time. So she left us only the two of us.

There was silence, and I felt impatient.
"Ano ne Takasan..."
"Look"
I had asked the guy to look behind so when he looks at me back he would see me doing a stingy face at
him.
I did this childish act twice.

But finally, I confessed my love to the Japanese guy.

"anone, Takasan... Suki!" *smiles*

"D-do you mean you like me as a friend?"

I shook my head gently. *smiles*

"Oh so you mean you like me as..."

I kept on smiling. And I nodded.

"ahh I like you also, but I can't be your boyfriend..sorry... is it okay?

"yeah!" *smiles*

But we can be great friends! We can meet next time!"
"Like, we can shop together, eat together, drink together..", he said.

*smiles*

*silence*

"i'm sorry. I think the reason I was quiet towards you most of the time was because I had not told you of my affection towards you."

"Yeah yeah", he said.

"I thought you like someone else.", he said.

"We're good friends. hehe"

"So I can meet you next time... hehe"

we can meet next time?", I said.

"Yeah, oh I can invite you to meet my Australian friends!", he said.


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So I left their dorm hurriedly after that, and walked fast. But later on, my walk became dragging. It was so slow.

I was very happy that I did it. But sad at the same time because I got rejected.

But my roommate in my dorm encouraged me! She said there could be a chance he would develop feelings for me. I was advised to meet him many times and become closer with him. hehehe

So I shouldn't give up yet!!

We should meet next time... and I will finally show him my assertive side... hehehe

iPhoneからの投稿

LQ between my friend and her bf

As I had written before, I have a roommate. 

My roommate is very supportive of me, especially when it comes to my love life. 

Recently, I have a crush on my Japanese male friend. Last week, I told my Japanese girl friend about it (for your information, my Japanese male friend lives next to her my Japanese girl friend's room). She said she would help me!

My roommate was very happy for me because the Japanese girl is on my side!

But what I am very happy about is the fact my roommate is really happy for me. I can feel her genuine care for me. Thank you really, my beloved roommate 

I'm really thankful that she's my roommate. 

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Yesterday, the boyfriend of my Japanese girl friend contacted me. We had a short conversation through video call, but it was cut off due to bad internet connection.

They had LQ (lover's quarrel), and he wanted me to help him be able to talk again with my Japz girl friend. 

I was amazed by him. I felt he was so clingy to his girl friend. But actually he just missed his girl friend. 

Tonight, I had a chitchat with M-chan (my Japz gir friend) and told her my hope that they will be in good terms. 

Tonight they talked. Her boy friend reported to me that it got better. But later on, he messaged me again suggesting his feeling of doubt towards his girl friend. 

He's kind of annoying

But still I want to help them in their relationship.

I like M-chan, so I'm doing it for her. 

On Wednesday, my Korean friend and I will visit her in her dorm to talk about our school work. I will also try to talk about their relationship.

1/21/17- Meetup for Group Work

The three of us M-chan, my Korean friend and I decided to meet at a cafe at 2 PM for a group work in our class in ESP (English for Specific Purposes). 

But I had arrived 30 minutes prior to that. When I went to the 2nd floor to check for availability of seats in th cafe, M-chan from behind found me. Maybe, for around 1 hour, I spent my time with her while waiting for my Korean friend. Even so, I really enjoyed being with her. 

While I was wth her alone, we didn't talk about what to do with our class. Instead we talked about our personal lives. But during that time, I hadn't spoken to her about "that" (my affection towards her Japanese guy friend). 

M-chan showed me photos from her small camera (I think it's like Go Pro) when she was on vacation with her boy friend in beautiful beaches and sea. She also showed me photos of when she was in the grandest festival in our city. She was with my crush, but I never saw photos of her with him. I wonder why...

M-chan was called by her boy friend in Taiwan by phone. They had video chat and she showed her boy friend my face while I talked to her. 

She might leave for Taiwan on February 23, just to get her laptop. Her handsome, smart, funny, and rich boy friend cannot come back to the country for her as he had to take care of his grandmother, and his family is busy. And he will probably never come back here as he will study in UK.  

I think she's a nice girl. 

To be honest, I thought it was difficult for me to talk normally with a Japanese girl or woman. But when I was with her, I felt I was mistaken. She was so smooth to talk with! Thanks!!  I like her so much! Her very presence encourages me to become like her, a nice girl 

I want to spend time with her more.

She will leave for Japan in the last week of March. 

I hope that we make a lot of good memories. 

Finally, my Korean friend came. We finally started to discuss our individual tasks for the subject. She was the one leading the whole discussion.  I felt she was like our elder sister, as usual. 

While each of us was working on the task, I managed to have chitchat with my Korean friend through laptop to prevent letting my Japanese girl friend hear what we were chatting about. 

Actually, my Korean friend just encouraged me to tell M-chan that I like her Japanese guy friend. That was the chat all about. So I wrote on paper that I like the guy and handed it to M-chan. I was shy to say it in person, so I wrote it. hehe

But even writing my feelings for him, I already fet nervous. And my hand became cold. My stomach kind hurt. 

I asked M-chan to keep this a secret from anyone. But she never answered it! 

M-chan was supportive of me.  She wrote there she will help me, if possible. 

Thank you! 

At the last, M-chan, my korean friend, and I took a photo of ourselves together. 

I felt that it was a miracle for my Korean friend as she SMILED, showing her teeth. 

I think that she likes M-chan. It's good for her. 

I enjoyed my time with them. Thank you. 

M-chan and I went home together. To ride in the right public transportation vehicle, we had to walk across the rode. But there were many cars and we couldn't wait for them to stop anymore.  The time was already rush hour and many people go home from work. We have to be assertive enough to cross the street and signal the cars to give way for us. M-chan followed me. We crossed the street together while I held her hand. 

All M-chan could ever say was "Wow! Amazing." 

But I told her that in here we should be assertive enough to do what we want to do because it's unlike in Japan, where people are very polite and considerate of other people.

Shifiting the topic, 

I told her, "BUT I CAN'T BE ASSERTIVE ENOUGH TOWARDS T-san..."

"You can!!", exlcaimed she. 

We continued our conversation in the PUV (public utility vehicle).

But she said T-san might be unaware of my feelings for him. As I wrote, she never answered my request not to tell T-san about my feeling. I think she will make him aware of it.... 

I'm nervous. If I confess my love towards him, it would be my first time to do it first. When I confess to him, I imagine running away immediately after that. But everyone encourages me not to run away. I don't know why but I imagine there should be rules in confessing. So I'm obsessed thinking of commiting mistake. 

Is there English for Specific Purposes for confession of love? 

T-san looks very handsome and kind...

Becoming an Ideal Girlfriend

This morning, my Korean friend and I had chitchat during the time the professor was absent. 

We talked about my secret affection for the Japanese guy who visited me last time in my room. 

She told me that if I like him as a man and that I am sure of my feeling, I should confess to the guy. 

But just imagining confessing to the guy already made me feel anxious. I was sweating

Having a boyfriend is very special to me. Having boyfriend means deepening of the spirit for me. If I have a boyfriend, I will treat him very very well. ehehe

But to be honest, I don't do many things a girl or woman is expected to do. I don't think I'm womanly... 

For example, I don't cook. 

I don't know many things about food at all. 

I don't work so much in our house (like do the household chores). 

I don't possess keen sense for danger. 

And maybe, I am INSENSITIVE (kuuki wo yomenai) in many situations.

Basically, I live like a princess because I almost don't do any work in our house.

I live like that because I don't feel the need to learn other things.  

But this means I can learn how to cook some food, learn about food and health, learn how to work in the house, and I can learn to read the atmosphere in many situations if it is really FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL, like BOYFRIEND. 

Yes, I will work hard for someone special to me.

I really want to take care of my boyfriend very well. 

So I should do my best in becoming the ideal girlfriend.

But I know that cooking and cleaning the house aren't only the characteristics of an ideal girlfriend. So I will study more about it. 

Oh, and I will try to ask my friends about what IDEAL GIRLFRIEND means.

By the way, by any chance, do you know the meaning of IDEAL GIRLFRIEND? Please tell me...

1/13/17 -Japanese visits me

My Japanese friends visited me on Jan. 13th. 

The incharge of our dorm prepared rice and noodles for us. My Japanese friends looked surprised and thankful for the generosity of the incharge. 

We took our meal together in our room. 

Mr. T gave me and my roommate a can-opener souvenir from Malaysia. He also brought something for my roommate's father. He wanted to thank for the kind treatment that he received from my roommate's family when he was in their island. 

We also drank beer. Near the end of our meeting, each of them gave me money for the beer that I bought for them. I refused to receive it, but they insisted and put the money under my pillow. In the end, I gave up. But I gave the money I received to the incharge and her granddaughter. 

Actually, I felt nervous while I handled them. It was my first time to receive foreign friends. 

But overall, I am really happy that I was able to spend time with them. I hope that our friendship will continue. 

They will probably go back to Japan in last week of March or first week of April. Time is so short now. I wish that we do various things together before they leave for Japan. 

In the end, we took a photo of ourselves, including the incharge and her granddaughter. It was a memorable time for me.

One thing that bothers me most is our conversation.

I felt that Mr. T wanted to know something from me. But I felt embarrassed to say it because other people were there. Should I invite him to meet me alone next time?

Johnny Kidd & The Pirates - Shakin' All Over

I finally found the song of the tune that has been in my head all this time!! Wooo!!! So happy!!

My Friend's Failed Plan for Me

"T-san will come to my room. Wanna come?", is what I blurted out personally to M-san, my Japanese girl friend (onna tomodachi).

And today she wrote to me on FB that she would come.

I expected that the four of us will be in my room.

Suddenly, my roommate told me she can't come because she has "appointment."

And I told her that M-san would also come. 

But my roommate was in disappointment after I told her that. 

She had wanted ONLY ME and the JAPANESE GUY in the room so that we can do KOKUHAKU to each other and BECOME COUPLE.. 

So her plan failed. 

My roommate will cancel her "appointment" and will join our meetup in the room.

She told me, "It's unnecessary that you tell your Japanese girl friend that you will meet T-san in your room!"

Why did I tell her in the first place about it? Because I didn't think such thing like confession of love would happen. 

Indeed, I have special feelings for T-san. But I'm not sure yet whether it's romantic. 

Anyway, I'm happy that M-san will also come. The more, the merrier!

T-san will leave for Japan in March. There is not much time left. 

I also hope there can be opportunity for us to be alone. When that happens, I will tell him my special feelings for him. Overall, I just hope that we have good relationship with each other. hehe

GOOD LUCK TO ME ON FRIDAY!!!

Oh, yes! I almost forgot. The in charge of our dorm said she wanted to meet all my foreign friends. So on Friday, I expect that she will also be in my small room. lol

Come to my room

T-san will come to my room on Friday evening at 6 PM. OMG!! This is too much for me!!

He said he will give souvenirs to me and my roommate.

We will take dinner together in my room.

But my roommate said she will sleep during that time so that I can spend the whole time with T-san. OMGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! NOOOOOOO!! That's toooo much for me!!

Doushiyouuuuuu

I feel sooooo excited

T-san might not be aware that I have special feelings for him.