All this time, I try to be Maria. So my life is isolated and suppressed.
But what if I give in to my senses
and kiss many men. Well, that's a slut. Nobody likes a slut.
After you can do everything, I just wish for a world peace and vanish peacefully.
1) Brain Surgeon - get worms or odd stuff from brain or check brain using MRI
2) Intelligence Analyst - solve problems
3) Language Expert - Japanese, Chinese, German, French - I want good relations with my neighbors
4) Artist (Dancing and Painting/Drawing)
5) Fashion - make my own clothes
6) Model - i have a nice body and chest
7) Chef - wanna make vegetables that are yummy
8) Software Engineer - wanna make virus and anti-virus software and make some virtual world game and add more movements to the avatar like a real person
9) Chemist - i wanna make bomb, drugs, check content of blood or something
10) genetic engineer - try to alter the genes and change face for better human
11) historian or journalist - record word
12) Mathematician - wanna solve complex problems
13) Scientist - I wanna experiment with babies or children
14) movie director - iIwanna make movie about my intention
15) song writer - Iwanna write down people's real feelings
16) make up artist - I wanna be beautiful and turn people around me into beautiful
17) linguist - Iwanna learn new words
18) and finally... porn/war director
Ok ok that's too much. Basically i
I wanna be like a god.
I'm 26 and I am still a virgin. I haven't done anything with people around me. I'm just quiet. When I think that I haven't contributed anything, I feel stressed.
Better be safe than sorry. Better plan out what you like to do than do impulsive stuff. But sometimes I do things on an impulse.
I feel that I should have mastered these lol.
Human
-Invent new word
-Cries tears
-skin hunger
-point out something feels odd
I feel my internal self is bleeding heavily because I have been quiet and passive not influencing the world and just keep my mind to this blog.
That's because if I point out my correction to my teachers, then it means the entire system is not good. Like why did the government pass such a teacher.
Nobody heard me scream
We should be in this kind of world.
Dear future generations,
Make a world that's:
1) whatever one can think of, it automatically comes up to you or brought to you. (Technology).
- home technology that makes own food
- home technology that rains itself when you want to.
2) no need to type what you want to search for.
3) just imagining something and then it automatically comes to you.
4) reviving memories of the diceased or transferring the memories of the diceased unto another person or robot.
5) altering the genes to suit the taste of the parent.
During my uni years, what made my experience different from others is and plus points is:
Inside school:
1) Participated in music concert by child "prodigy" who's going to school in Austria.
2) I participated to "care" or tour around Japanese student visitors and received money from the office. I also helped in making presentation and I was given a love letter from Japanese student.
3) My classmate and friend is a Korean. She gave me a nice blue mechanical pencil from Korea. We also made chocolates for valentine's day.
4) I have 2 Japanese exchange student friends. Mchan let me know her roommate which is T-san. I like Mchan even until now. She is so good Japanese. She played music for street children. watched beauty and the beast with her.
5) I am friends with some foreign students. The math major from PNG was good. And the student from Yemen could talk lengthily about business. I couldn't talk like that.
6) My teacher in economics was very good. She gave me and other student chocolates in the end for her gratitude. I encountered the word "perfect competition".
7) My teacher in logic was so good and organized.
8) My math teachers were good. Mr. A, the original (first) teacher was good.
9) I met 4 Austrian exchange students who were student teachers and who were very beautiful and went to Sinulog with them. One wanted to play music for street children.
10) After I filed a complaint, some teachers changed their topics. I learned "complex logic" and "transformative education", "game-changer" and "vigilant".
11) Dr. O said about her son being a student in sociology
12) I met Ysan and she said I am her best friend in this region.
Outside school:
1)I met many Japanese.
2) Participated in CGP and language exchange events and went to Mr H.'s condo
3) Mr. K sent me a nice reply on email and thanked me for my kindness.
I couldn't do anything I wanted like hang out more with them because
1) I am broke.
2) I am still student so I can't abandon my classes to have fun like rich kid
3) Although I can sing some songs in Japanese or English, I didnt create my own original song which captures my own experience of the world
4) In the end, I probably wouldn't break my leg for anybody.
5) I couldn't cry like a river for my friend's dying mother and I feel bad.
6) my landlady's son did suicide and used my internet cable's wire. I feel bad. Maybe if I talked with him more and helped him, he wouldn't have been desperate.
I want to go back to school again and take different course. I wish there was a school where I can just pick the subject I want to learn and they would just give me the certificate. So it's like I'm a teacher for my own self.
I may be an ungrateful student or citizen. I feel bad if there's a mistake and it's not pointed out. Or the content is not suitable for the current generation's audience.
I am not comfortable with my environment before because it's like they are no aware about the "worst scenario" is that may happen. I didn't like them to smile too much it's like fools. But even now I myself is still funny and not serious.
I might have chosen the wrong school/major.
In summary, all I did was to memorize things taught at school but not create my own stuff. And I don't apply it to others. Knowledge > application.
And my main problem is really financial matter.
In today's world, we should just rely on AI to do all the manual work and let ourselves just enjoy instead of being stressed about work.
