Well Being & Self-Acceptance
4 Good Mental States and Good Physical State can lead us to “Well Being”.ref) https://medium.com/tovvy-chobby/factors-of-well-being-e61d016064f5Today I would like to touch on how to reach 2 of them. Be Myself Be OptimisticI tend to feel anxiety. Pressure at workplace would be worst trigger to fall into it. When I’m in the bad state, I think I’m NOT Being Myself and Being Pessimistic; worrying about every words from my boss and check my document from every aspects.By the way, when we were children, we were totally Being Ourselves and Optimistic.Then when did we start Not Being Ourselves and Being Pessimistic?Negative ProgrammingChildren are trained to adapt to society.We had been told “Be Nice”, “Behave” and “Don’t be blah blah blah”. We had been trained “how we should think” and “ how we should feel”.Then children started INSTALLING rules of society and responsibility to society.Especially in the strict society, we are trained to prioritize “Expected Thinking ” and “Expected Emotion” than our “Own Thinking” and “Own Emotion”.To survive in the society, this training & adaptation is inevitable.But if the adaptation becomes too much, we start thinking that:We are NOT accepted/loved UNLESS we think/feel as expected.Disapproval is PAIN.Driven by Fear, we start IGNORING & PARALYZING our “Own Thinking” and “Own Emotion” to control ourselves.It is called “Conditional Self-Acceptance” which is Negative Programming to escape from the PAIN.The problems are: We are in ill-being state because Anxiety and Fear drives us to escape from the PAIN. We cannot easily let the Negative Programming go. Because if we let it go, we think we will NOT be accepted/loved then suffer the PAIN.“To protect us from the PAIN, we need the programming.” that’s what we think.It is like that we believe we grasp Diamond tightly not to be stolen but as a matter of fact it’s Piece of Broken Glass which cut your hand to bleed.Patterns of Negative ProgrammingAccording to Transactional Analysis*, there are 5 patterns of Negative Programming, which are called Drivers. Be Perfect Please Others Be Strong Try Hard Hurry UpThese messages themselves are not bad, but some children receive them as following. Be Perfect: “You are ONLY OK IF you get everything done perfect.” Please Others: “You are ONLY OK IF you please people.” Be Strong: “You are ONLY OK IF you are strong and hide your emotions.” Try Hard: “You are ONLY OK IF you keep trying hard to do things.” Hurry Up: “You are ONLY OK IF you do everything right now.”*Vann Joine, Ian Stewart (2012). TA Today: A New Introduction to Transactional AnalysisHow to Install Positive ProgrammingThere are“Allowers” corresponding to each “Drivers”.I think they are Positive Programming: kind of Words of Affirmation.Speaking the Words of Affirmation out loud repeatedly enables us to install Positive Programming gradually to subconscious and unconscious mind which account for 95% of brain activity.Then you gradually accept yourself unconditionally. You can Be Yourself and Be Optimistic and then filled with Piece of Mind.In my case, “Be Perfect” is my Driver. I think it is still installed in my sub-conscious mind. But I’ve installed Allowers “Be Yourself” as well.I just took the words and give it a try. I did speak the Words of Affirmation “It’s OK to be myself” out loud repeatedly like chant a sutra or magic spell.Believe or not, I think the “Allowers” have been gradually installed in my mind that makes me lower my guard.I started thinking if I’m OK to be imperfect and accepted to fail something, I think No Need to Fear, it’s OK to be Optimistic.I gradually become be able to allow myself to relax with piece of mind.Today I touched on how to reach 2 factors of Well-Being. Be Myself Be OptimisticMechanism and steps to switch ill-being state to well-being state, from “Transactional Analysis” point of view.今回は英語での投稿にチャレンジしてみました。カウンセリング＆コーチングであんしんしてじぶんらしくしあわせになるお手伝いをさせて頂いています(^^)『セッション申込み』お気軽に申込みください。2営業日以内にご返信いたします。申込みだけでは料金は発生しません。https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfLM9D2e_CSLGLV30g7WkSZoIm4VGeu_hYr-HcC9MiGeb7cnA/viewform?usp=embed_facebook『プロフィール』精神病の家族に寄り添う経験から心理学の資格を取得、訓練を受けカウンセリング＆コーチングをしています。"条件付きの自己承認" をゆるめて あんしんして…ameblo.jpLINEでのご質問・申込みも是非お気軽にご連絡ください(^^)※初回のセッション（無料）で ご相談内容をお聞かせ頂き サービス内容をご説明させて頂きます。 サービス内容にご納得頂けた場合 カウンセリング＆コーチングセッションにて お手伝いをさせてください。しあわせとは？ ├ しあわせと「価値観」├ しあわせと「感情」└ しあわせと「体調」
