Recently, i went to a convention event.
I decided to go out of my city for once and try to get into another circle of community, or perhaps, social community. I tried to save money as i could but i couldn't help it to bring some just for the sake of myself because it's my first time going out to another city. Eventho it's actually near my city where i live, i had to take train and do half circle just to get to where i wanted to go. The event is about doujin and community, games, anime, you name it. I actually went there twice before, but everytime i go there, the feels is really different and i had to admit that the changes is really suprising and actually scares me a bit.
The first time i went there is basicly just to challenge myself that i could actually go out from my house to nearby city, and it went pretty okay i guess, tho at that time, i was really naive back then that i couldn't help to feel restless everytime. It was fun but i had no special goal to go there, that's why i kinda just follow the flow and it was pretty okay to me for a first time experience. I didn't have to stay in that city, so i could go back anytime i want because it's near my city, with a train of course. The second time i went to this event, is actually pretty good. I had a good time eventho what i did is just sit for the entire day and not going anywhere because how full the places is and it's tiring me already thus i decided to just hangout with my online friends. This is the first time i went to look at the others costume, and etc. I'll get to that later, the 3rd time which is yesterday's event, is actually kinda okay for me. The place is a little bit far away and i had to stay for two night because i got tired and i couldn't move my body a bit. I rent a room with a bunch of my online friends and the room suprisingly great, it got air conditioner and so on. Eventho the water is a bit low, i still manage to get a great shower atleast. The place is close to AEON mall and the convention hall which is pretty convenient. I had no problem at all while staying, and it's a great experience nontheless.
The convention is kinda okay, tho i had to wait in line for couple hours just to get the tickets and get inside. The sole purpose why i went to this event is not for buying stuff, not for collection or anything but purely for my own. I challenge myself to go out and seek or perhaps trying to experience something different. If i went to this event twice already why i called it First self-journey? It's because this is the first time i went here with my own firm decision, and also the first time i go after my "realization". That is why i called it first self-journey.
Inside, there are community booth and booth for manga, fan art, etc. It was pretty okay, tho i mark this event not for market because it's for community nontheless, and people use this chance to hangout with their friend that is far away to gather into one place. There's a negative effect on this side is that it's hard to control how they're gonna act and such. The place is huge, and i am too tired to walk circling the area (Not to mention, i am exhausted because there's so many people and i feel like i got crushed mentally while circling, eventho i didn't show it or express it). I see now that the event is really growing, and it's really different from what i had from previous event before. Many people cosplaying with more unique costume here and there, more artwork, fanart, etc. This is the first time i am aware and try to read people's in an event like this. So i tried to look closer to their expression, how they dress, how they act, the way they talk, etc. When i was searching for lunch, i saw that now there's a lot of kids or school students that go with their parents, and once i saw a kids without their parents too. I was thinking, what were they thinking and what the parents think to go for such event like this as it's actually not for old people that is not interested in these kind of thing, for example, like myself. I got tired of myself but what about those people ?
Not just a kids tho, but there's also some that is probably a teenager going with their parents too, and it seems they're having a good time. What makes me scared is that, the world is confusing. I actually expected this, and i kinda see it already, but it just or probably because it's my first time that it actually scares me that the social community or construct or whatsoever is so different from mine. The cosplays, the event, the gathering, it's all kinda alien to me. Perhaps it's because i really used to formal situation like in university and such, and when i went to another universe, is that i feel alien to the surrounding that it makes me scares a bit. Tho, it also makes me wondering even more and wanted to read them even more.
Perhaps, this is what they called as Colors. As you can see, i don't have much colors in me and rather, i might probably not have any colors, but my online friends (Well, some of em), and others are bright like a stars which i don't want to be. The spotlights are everywhere, and i kinda understand that it's how they are and such. I went to a community booth and studying the surrounding while a friend of mine buying something and interact with them. It felt so alien to me, as i am not an interactive person with someone i don't know. But, seeing them giving me new perspective on things, and the world.
There's a main stage at the end of the hall and everyone gathered there, like an assembly point. The noise, the voices, the rumbling, it's kinda chill and weird at the same time. Tho i don't mind about it. The sounds from the main stage, the loud voices from speaker, is different for me and kinda tire me. I kinda don't understand a bit for those who able to endure these but i understand how they wanted to have fun. After awhile, i went back with my friends to our room and just relax a bit.
Now this is what makes me feels so different. We are about to go to Aeon mall just to hangout at night with friends. Truthfully, i really excited for us to go to Aeon mall instead going to convention event. I feel really different when i am in that mall. I don't feel scared, and i feel like i want to explore instead unlike when i am in the convention event. That mixed feeling really understandable as i am used to these kind of environment. Where i think about it as more "Public" instead that convention event. I figured out that i was thinking that the convention event is actually not a public places but more rather for some community like someone who likes games, anime, etc which to be honest, i don't reach that point. I just enjoy games, anime, and such not to the roots like them who wants to buy a fanart or something. These "Public" place to me kinda feels different because in the convention event, people dress, act, and etc totally different than this mall. Perhaps , even i could call it as "Jungle" to me. Thus, i prefer to hang out in these places like the aeon mall, instead of that convention center, tho i don't mind to go there once in a while just to hang out with my friends and feel the experience, afterall, experience is also one of knowledge.
After a day, i went back with train and completely going back to my life once again. Tho, i really feel like i am different. Perhaps after knowing there's too much different outside my head got me overwhelmed a bit. But i do enjoy these experience and all. Eitherway, i'll look forward to go to JP and see the experience with my own eyes. I still don't like to go to big convention but i enjoy the experience.