私は彼の たくさんのことを知っていて
ほとんどのことを 知らない
たとえばそれが 予告無しにやってきた愛の続として
私はその衝動に耐えかねて 陶酔したのだ
初めは 一瞬一瞬を逃すまいと必死に
だんだんと 次に続くクルーを撒きながら
それからそれがそうであるその 普遍さに安心して
只、今は。なによりもこの 自分の大切な部分だけは
持っていかれないように
只、只。
しばらくの間、あたしがgrumpyだった理由
ずっとの間、あたしが自分の食欲をコントロールできなかった理由
長い間、あたしが来るものを拒まず迎え入れた理由
ちょっとの間、my papiを避けていた理由
どう考えても遅刻だけど、それでも、いつも、ちょっとめんどくさそうに、でも色んなものを引き連れて、
あいつが来た。
もしあいつのかわりにﾊーフｷビーがきたら、あたしはどうしてただろう？
それはそれで、その小さな味方に依存して、自分の人生を託していたかもしれない。
Happily ever afterを夢見て
現実に背を向けて
Rottieの時は、考えられなかったことなのに
Rottieの時は、そこに愛があったはずなのに
あのひとの時のことなんか、祈るほど嫌だったのに
あのひとの膝の擦り傷なんて、もう癒えてるのに
なんでｷビーだったらよかったんだろう。その日会っただけなのに。Rottieじゃなくて？
それは、たぶん、色。
あたしは黒を愛でる。黄色より、黒を、仰ぐ。
それでもあいつは、やっぱり今回もちょっとめんどくさそうに、ゆっくり足で、それでもいつもよりちょっと早めに、でもやっぱり遅刻で、やってきた。
いらっしゃい
あたしはまるで、どこかのクラブの、ワラのように、子宮の上を撫でる。
この文章も嗚呼、あいつの産物だというのに。
ずっとの間、あたしが自分の食欲をコントロールできなかった理由
長い間、あたしが来るものを拒まず迎え入れた理由
ちょっとの間、my papiを避けていた理由
どう考えても遅刻だけど、それでも、いつも、ちょっとめんどくさそうに、でも色んなものを引き連れて、
あいつが来た。
もしあいつのかわりにﾊーフｷビーがきたら、あたしはどうしてただろう？
それはそれで、その小さな味方に依存して、自分の人生を託していたかもしれない。
Happily ever afterを夢見て
現実に背を向けて
Rottieの時は、考えられなかったことなのに
Rottieの時は、そこに愛があったはずなのに
あのひとの時のことなんか、祈るほど嫌だったのに
あのひとの膝の擦り傷なんて、もう癒えてるのに
なんでｷビーだったらよかったんだろう。その日会っただけなのに。Rottieじゃなくて？
それは、たぶん、色。
あたしは黒を愛でる。黄色より、黒を、仰ぐ。
それでもあいつは、やっぱり今回もちょっとめんどくさそうに、ゆっくり足で、それでもいつもよりちょっと早めに、でもやっぱり遅刻で、やってきた。
いらっしゃい
あたしはまるで、どこかのクラブの、ワラのように、子宮の上を撫でる。
この文章も嗚呼、あいつの産物だというのに。
例えば変わりは変わりに過ぎずとも、その多少の妥協や期待による興奮は只、根源的な必要を十分に満たすための経験に値する。もし事後の究極の空虚感に耐えられるのならばその、未だに残る鈍痛でさえも。
June 24, 2006.
To Make It Unforgetable,
To Make It My Best Memory,
I Dedicate These Butterfly n Rose
To Those Who Messed My Precious Life Up Unfixably.
I Even Dont Mind Sacrificing My Left Ankle
As Far As My Strength Is Protected.
Tattooing Never Hurts Me As Much As You Did.
This Butterfly Never Flys Away As You Did.
This Rose Never Die Down Like The One You Gave Me Did.
Didnt You Know That.
Purpleness Of Those Tattoos Comforts Me.
I Have Purple, The Color I Ever Admired, On My Body
Even Though I Never Be Able To Heve You.
I Wont Regret
but Just Wanna Protect What I Have Right Now.
Thats It
THATS It...
To Make It Unforgetable,
To Make It My Best Memory,
I Dedicate These Butterfly n Rose
To Those Who Messed My Precious Life Up Unfixably.
I Even Dont Mind Sacrificing My Left Ankle
As Far As My Strength Is Protected.
Tattooing Never Hurts Me As Much As You Did.
This Butterfly Never Flys Away As You Did.
This Rose Never Die Down Like The One You Gave Me Did.
Didnt You Know That.
Purpleness Of Those Tattoos Comforts Me.
I Have Purple, The Color I Ever Admired, On My Body
Even Though I Never Be Able To Heve You.
I Wont Regret
but Just Wanna Protect What I Have Right Now.
Thats It
THATS It...
this time was mah turn, wasnt it? i did have a big fun with you. i was really enjoying seeing you were getting red hahaha, but you were still cute, though. you were kinda out of control 'n didnt know what to do with it, hum? im not a guy so i dont knwo exactly but it had own mind and there was nothing you could do but trying to fix your pants, hum? i was so happy to see i made you work again pampkin, cuz i could feel that i was really meaningful to you, you know, i hope nobody elese is like that but only i can play with that game with you. im wondering when it really did work though...i mean i hardly did nothing this time, right? well, i kinda playing but i really didnt touch or kiss but you were really "uncomfortable" already...mmm maybe when you said you wanted my kiss on your ouee? or...let me remember what i did...maby because you were holding my hand? but...that's it?! mmm you must be young, man. oh, and let me say this, i was pretty much surprised to hear your words. like...you want me back? what do you mean by "back"? Did i ever go away from you? n...what did you say i tryta remember...oh you wanted to hold me without cloths, that was funny really. you knwo what you are really different. nobody wants this kind of shape, you know but when you said that rubbing my lap really made me...how do i describe this feeling...made me...yours, yeah some like that. n i liked you said you felt so good when i touched you, surely i wanted ta touch you you know and you said you liked it so...i just kept touching your hair, beard and ear but you were kinda shy and didnt look at me and i though that was funny. Yeah, i was not nice when i tricked you a kiss,hum? but you said you liked it and so did i. its really fun to play this kissy game with you dont you think so? i just cant stop playin with ya, pumpkin. dont you like we played with lips kind of? like we're not really kissing but touhing lips with lips and you always do nosekiss. how come you ALWAYS do that? are you showin your big nose off or something? but when you are doing the noseykiss you look so sexy, bebe. i liked the last kiss we had yesterday, remember the one we really did? that was sweet. i remember your voice and your smell when we were doing i love your smell... i wish i could wear it all day. i like to feel yours r working, too sweety but i didnt knwo what i could do, though. i just want your hand to hold my hand or touch me. that's it. hope you liked that and you behaved before you went back to your work. we're almost there, pumpkin, get ready for the day to come, ok?