Yesterday I finished two writing. Both costed me time a lot, but I think it might be a worthful writing.
First, I completed a questionnaire about High School Diplomats by AIG Insrance Corporation. As you can find in last diaries, I participated the special summer program by the company. I experienced lots of hardships and enjoyment. I was required to write about them in the questionnaire. So I wrote it in the morning spending an hour.
Let me recitate the statement on which I added emphasis. I was in a depression because of some problems associated with ny school, family, extracurricular activities, and so on. I couldn't do nothing but crying everyday and having suicidal feeling. Actually I tried to commit suicide overdosing 2 box of Doriel: a kind of sleeping pills: but nothing had happened. I also tried to jump down from the outside of guardrail, but I quited it because it was scary and dirty. That's why I failed to die and challenge the summer program.
Of course I want to do suicide now. I don't think it is a strange or bad thing. Anyway I will finish my life in this way. But I don't feel I have to do it "now". I want to eat some delicious thing or watching some videos in Youtube or doing some homework. I'm too busy to commit suicide. After I finished all of these things, I will be able to execute it, but I'm not sure of whether I can have still suicidal feeling.
Second, I wrote an article for Highschool Newspaper. I think it was last week I was asked by a person in charge of edition to write an article about how I study everyday suddenly. I was wondering I should write it or not because I have no time already since I'm hectic completing my homework. However I decided to write it to organize my memory and contribute other people or other things by publishing the article. I finished this work spending 1.5 hours. You can read the article in the future. I will write about the content when the time come. I kept in mind to write an article that no one can write except me.
I feel I come to write the 600 or 800 characters quite fast. Maybe because I have written so a lot.
Today's song: 雨とペトラ／まふまふ【歌ってみた】 - YouTube
I can remember this version rather than the original because I put this in my MP3. Now I can't remember what songs I put since the MP3 is broken. But I can still remember just the songs. I'm happy to remember this looking at raining.
Today it is rainy with some thunder. What will happen today?
See you tomorrow!!