Hi all, how's your Saturday going?
さて、最近私はちょっとした悩みと言いますか、気になってることがあります。
So recently, there's been something that's been on my mind. Not necessarily a problem, but just something I've been mulling on.
パートナーと同じベッドで寝ることは良いことなのか？一緒に寝なくても良い関係を維持できるのか？
Is it good that you sleep in the same bed as your partner? Can you maintain a healthy relationship without sleeping together?
私のパートナーは眠りが浅く、私がちょっと動いただけでも起きてしまいます。
My partner is a light sleeper and wakes up from my slightest movements.
私の方が朝が早い日が多いので、静かに起きようと努力はするものの、95％の割合でパートナーを起こしてしまいます・・・
Most days, I have an earlier morning, and despite the fact that I try really hard not to disturb him while I quietly get out of bed, 95% of the time, I cause him to wake up.
逆に私はカビゴン並みにいつでもどこでも寝れますし、起こされてしまっても、またすぐに寝付きます。
In contrast, I'm like a Snorlax in that I can sleep anytime, anywhere, and even if I'm woken up, I can quickly fall asleep again.
なので、最近、実験的に別々に寝ています。おかげでお互い、ぐっすり眠れてます。
So recently, we started sleeping in different beds. As a result, we have both enjoyed good sleeps.
別々に寝ることは合理的な解決策なのはわかっているけど、寂しいと思うこともあるし、一緒のベッドで寝ることは親密さの証のような気もするので、気になっています。
My rational mind understands that sleeping separately is a practical solution, but I do feel that it is a bit lonely at times, and that sleeping in the same bed symbolizes closeness. So, I've been thinking about this topic.
2010年に行われたアメリカの国立睡眠財団の調査によると、回答者の30.9%が「パートナーとは別々に寝ている、もしくは別々に寝たいと思っている」と答えたそうです。
According to a 2010. survey conducted by the National Sleep Foundation in the U.S., 30% of the respondents said that they were either sleeping separately or they wanted to sleep separately.
ただし、別々に寝ていても、41.4%は「家族や友達に、別々に寝ていることを明かさない」と答えたそうです。
However, even if they are sleeping separately, 41.1% responded that they would not share this information with family or friends.
この調査では「sleep divorce (睡眠離婚)」というフレーズが紹介されていましたが、やっぱり「別々に寝る＝不仲？」という世間のイメージが強いのでしょうか。
This study introduced the phrase "sleep divorce," implying that society's view that "sleeping separately = bad relationship" is perhaps still strong.
私は世間の目がどうこうよりも、パートナーとの関係への影響の方を気にしています。
For me, I don't really care about society's view, but rather, the impact it could have on my relationship.
ちょっとGoogle検索しただけでも、「パートナーと一緒に寝たほうが良い」と言う研究結果もあれば、「夫婦円満の鍵は別々に寝ること」という研究結果もあり、心理学的にも脳生理学的にも様々な見解が発表されています。
Even just a quick Google search brings up studies that have shown sleeping together is better, as well as studies that have shown that sleeping separately is the key to a good marriage, and it appears there are many different psychological, physiological, etc. views on this topic.
結局はそのカップルに合ったやり方で良いとは理解しつつも、難しいですよね。一緒に寝ていた頃は、次の日の予定をシェアしたり、その日起きた些細な出来事について面白おかしく話し合ったり、喧嘩をしていても仲直りできたり。
I do understand that at the end of the day, each couple has to find their own solution that fits their needs and situation, but still, it's hard to figure out what that is. When we were sleeping together, we would share what we're doing the next day, discuss the smallest details of our day, or take the opportunity to make up after having a fight.
静かな暗闇の中、スマホなどの気を散らすものがない状態で、一緒に横になっているからこそできた話もありました。
There were discussions that we were able to have precisely because we were laying together in quiet darkness, with no distractions like our smartphones.
こう書くと、やっぱり一緒に寝たほうが良い！と思うけれど、睡眠はとても重要なので、パートナーの睡眠のクオリティを優先的に考えたほうが正しいかな、と。
When I write my thoughts out like this, I want to say that it's better if we sleep together. But sleep is so important to our quality of life, so the right choice, I think, is to prioritize my partner's quality of sleep.
皆さんはどう思いますか？
What do you think?
Have a wonderful weekend!