I dont think there are things that need to be said....

just....


feelings that are all jumbled up inside....not sure how to explain them but it's something like i dont really care anymore...


i dont want to care anymore....its a tiring process...

and i dont get assured of it enough...and i will just keep asking for it...which is bothersome to the other

and i dont want to appear that way.


plus....i said things i didnt mean either...it may seem like it...but now that i think back on it...i dont think what i said was true



...not really.
i don't even know why im getting all depressed now.

there's still...like 5 days left -__________-



/sigh/
I had a dream of this guy i went to school with, he was in my class but he was one of those popular kids. he kinda mentioned my name sometimes but it was probably just for teasing. it was weird, idk why he brought me up at times.

well it starts out that im from the future and i come to the past, or i think maybe i was from the past and i came to the future? i dont know, it was one of those.

i came to the grocery store and after shopping, i was going to exit the store then i hear people shouting justin which was this name of the guy's friend, who teased me and i was like he's here?! idk but i just had a feeling it was probably him those people were talking about. Then as i kept walking i was stopped by him, the guy who teased me with my name, because he was getting the carts of the store and returning them inside the store. He apologized and looked up at me. I knew him right there but i continued walking and he came after me. He asked me if i was blah blah blah and i said yeah. and he took a big sigh and he told me he was trying to find me all this time and he fell in love with me and he cant get me out of his mind. idek but yeah. i was just uh, you're lying arent you?

and he's like no, i really really do like you. alot.


and then it moved on to a different scene. i was in a house and supposingly helping my brother unpack stuff and he came in. he came and sat down beside me, too close. i tried to scoot away but he held onto my wrist and told me to stay. so i did. and then my brother called for me and i got up, escaping his grasp and i could see his expression was so sad when i left.

i stayed with my brother in that room for awhile, and i guess he couldnt wait any longer so he came into that room. but before he did, i went upstairs muahaha! and i could hear him asking where i went and my damn bro told him i was upstairs. He came up there and dude was i scared cuz we were gonna be up there alone. and idk what he could do. plus i still didnt believe his feelings. i turned on my laptop and started watching exo videos. their stage performances and i saw xiumin and started sqealing and he comes by me and ask: you like this guy?
i answered, "more than you." and continued sqealing.
he took hold of my face, and turned it to face him and told me that he wants to be liked by me and what can he do to make me fall for him and stuff.

my heart was beating fast, no doubt. i heard a sound and that meant i had to get back to my time. past or future i dont remember but i told him i have to go. He was about to cry, i couldnt believe it. he was strange. i have never seen him this way so it was weird to see.

he leaned in close about to kiss me and my heart was beating fast, i wasnt ready to get my first kiss taken but i couldnt move. all i could do was watch him come closer, and his eyes filled with love towards me.

i dont think we got to kiss because i woke up.


i think there was also a scene where he wanted to marry me and he was asking my sisters and mom if he could marry me and i was like hell no! inside, and my mom was like sure you can and im like noooooooooooo!


i hope i dont see him ever.