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It becomes complex again. I thought he's backed to her but, her status is not updated like that. Moreover he'd never give her any meaningful post, except 'like' it. ??? And in last party he asked me of schedule on 24th. So then what he want to do? After that he keeps silence and never give me even a call. Still scaring of so may things but I want to see him again, so try hard O-O/
It means still cannot give up it...
and he backed to her... haha, that's life, I leave him for almost 1 months and did so many wrong things... and I already knew this ending from the first. though I like, I couldn't act like that. still feeling scare of every apart and divorce and, therefore I still cannnot open myself to the others. But I truly need somebody. somebody who care of me and never walk away from me. So how can I get the guy?? just keep on going!! go party, go event, go outside, dayout, nightout and go everywhere even to the mars!! then someday, I'll find mine. so for the day, I do my best to everything!! don't care to anything anymore, just keep running running running, and gritter as he regret!!
BE the BEST!!!!!
I know I didn't do good to him. Because of my busy days, I didn't treat him right and it is able to understand that he lose his ineterest on me through this November. But can I give up him?? I know she's still loving him and she'll never let him go. And definitely the days with her must be precious memories inside of him and I cannot get in to the days. And anyways, he'll back and may be she try to get him back again.
BUT!!! Can I turn my eyes off from this feeling?? Can I forget a little lovegame of us in last fall?? Can I give up him??
My answer is NO. I know it's not him that who'll gonna give me unconditional love and infinitive care. He's so kind but in some aspect, he's so stiff and he'll never let anyone to change his mind. And I know the reason why I like him is only he showed me some favor at the first time. That's all, but what's the problem?? I'll never care to any reasons or logic. I like him now. So much. And wishing him to see me again. Care me again. So what should I do??
Go ahead, girl!!
The song is refraining inside of me since once I heard it. This is the latest song of Crystal Kay and I found it on internet as I always do. The sound is so cool and its video is also pretty stylish. But somehow, it's awesome lyric makes me want to cry. I know my temper is not going ordinary way. Yes, after I have backed from Thai, some part of me is changed. I've never used to feel this kind of uncontrolable grief by the time.
The first time I felt it was, the day after I have went to music festival with him. And he had sang the song of CP and it started refraining inside of me since I have heard that song. May be the abnormal is already started in that time. Next day, I completely lost the temper and feel so down. I've cried and cried and cried and cried. Even in front of counsellor, even on the way to my home, any single time, my tear would'nt stop. Once I've lost some kind of ballance that day.
And now I feeling very simullar way again. After this experience, my mentality got certainly fragile. Even trivial novels online could makes me feel not sorrow but grief. And now my sensitivity comes so keen like those times. The song makes me really want to cry. I don't know why. But I just can not help this feeling now.