30代の頃から、記憶が抜け落ちることがあった。
しかし、このところ、特に酷い。
先日も、まったく覚えていない「空白の10分」があった。
キッチンで鍋に火をかけた後、消したように思っていた。
書斎でズーム会議に参加して、戻ってきたら、
帰宅したばかりの娘が、「火がついたままだったよ」と。
このところ、立て続けにこんなことばかり。
行動の記憶が抜けていることは、仕方ないと諦めがつくけれど、
火の不始末に関しては、極めてリスクが大きい。
ずっと避けるようにしていたけれど、心のどこかに傷が残っている。
追い詰められるばかりの環境、パンドラの箱は閉ざされたまま。
心を開放することで、自由になれるのか。
はたまた、苦悩の連鎖をぶり返すだけなのか。
みんな、いろんなことを抱えている。
Since I was in my thirties, I've had some memory lapses.
But recently, it has been horrible.
The other day, I had a "blank 10 minutes" where I couldn't remember anything at all.
I thought I had put a pot on the fire in the kitchen and then turned it off.
I went to the other room to attend a zoom meeting.
And when I came back, my daughter, who had just come home, told me that the fire was still on.
This has been happening to me a lot lately.
I can live with the fact that I have lost my memory of my actions.
But when it comes to mismanagement of fire, the risk is exceptionally high.
I've been trying to avoid it for a long time, but it still has a scar somewhere in my heart.
I am trapped in an environment where it is not easy to live, and Pandora's box is still closed.
Will I be able to free myself by opening my heart?
Or will it only bring back the cycle of suffering?
Everyone has a lot of anxiety things on their mind.