実家の庭に、父が植え育て、母が愛でてきた藤の木がある。
花が咲く季節、それは見事な光景を生み出し、近所でも評判の藤棚と愛されてきた。
父の足が不自由になり、庭の手入れができなくなった。
週末ごとにメンテナンスにくる弟の負担は、とても大きかったに違いない。
梅雨の晴れ間、脚立によじ登り、慣れない手つきで我が息子がハサミを入れる。
窓から顔を出した父が突然「藤の木を切って欲しい」と頭を下げた。
糖尿と脳梗塞で入院中の母とは、コロナ禍でずっと面会禁止だけれど、
たまに病院から連絡が来た際、母の承諾を得たのだというのだ。
何十年も我が家に鎮座していた藤の木の根元に、大きくノコギリを入れる。
自由奔放にツルを伸ばしていたエネルギーが、目の前で息絶えた。
＊＊＊＊＊＊
深夜、あたりが寝静まっている時間に、庭に積み上げられたゴミ袋を運ぶ。
小さく切り刻まれた葉と木片が突き出して、手足が切り傷だらけになった。
落雷が鳴って、大雨が降り出した。
何往復してもゴミ袋の山が減らなくて、一人せつなくて泣いた。
母が愛した藤棚を、引き継ぐことができなかった。
思い出を断捨離する時は、感性を封印しなければならないという。
でも、私の中の感性は、息を潜めてくれない。
せつない感情だけが、研ぎ澄まされていく。
In my parents' garden, there is a wisteria tree that my father planted and nurtured and my mother loved.
During the blooming season, it was a magnificent sight and was loved by the neighbors as a popular wisteria trellis.
When my father became unable to walk well, he was unable to maintain the garden.
It must have been a heavy burden for my younger brother, who came every weekend to do maintenance.
On a sunny day during the rainy season, my son climbed onto the stepladder and with an unaccustomed hand, my son put the scissors in.
My father looked out from the window and suddenly bowed his head, "I need you to cut down the wisteria tree," he said.
My mother in the hospital with diabetes and a stroke, though we're been banned from visiting my mother for a long time due to the COVID-19 disaster.
Every once in a while, when the hospital called, my father asked for my mother's permission to do so.
A large saw worked into the base of the wisteria tree that had been standing in our home for decades.
The energy that had been stretching the branch so freely died out before my eyes.
********.
In the middle of the night, when all around us was asleep, I alone carried the trash bags piled up in the yard.
Small chopped leaves and pieces of wood poked out, and my hands and feet were getting in cuts.
Lightning struck and heavy rain began to fall.
No matter how many times I went back and forth, the pile of trash bags didn't get smaller, and I cried in sad.
I couldn't take over the wisteria that my mother loved so much.
It is said that when we declutter a memory, we have to seal off our sensitivity.
But the sensibility inside of me still alive.
As my feeling has been sharpened, my afflictive was still markable.
人気ブログランキングへ
海外永住 ブログランキングへ "
花が咲く季節、それは見事な光景を生み出し、近所でも評判の藤棚と愛されてきた。
父の足が不自由になり、庭の手入れができなくなった。
週末ごとにメンテナンスにくる弟の負担は、とても大きかったに違いない。
梅雨の晴れ間、脚立によじ登り、慣れない手つきで我が息子がハサミを入れる。
窓から顔を出した父が突然「藤の木を切って欲しい」と頭を下げた。
糖尿と脳梗塞で入院中の母とは、コロナ禍でずっと面会禁止だけれど、
たまに病院から連絡が来た際、母の承諾を得たのだというのだ。
何十年も我が家に鎮座していた藤の木の根元に、大きくノコギリを入れる。
自由奔放にツルを伸ばしていたエネルギーが、目の前で息絶えた。
＊＊＊＊＊＊
深夜、あたりが寝静まっている時間に、庭に積み上げられたゴミ袋を運ぶ。
小さく切り刻まれた葉と木片が突き出して、手足が切り傷だらけになった。
落雷が鳴って、大雨が降り出した。
何往復してもゴミ袋の山が減らなくて、一人せつなくて泣いた。
母が愛した藤棚を、引き継ぐことができなかった。
思い出を断捨離する時は、感性を封印しなければならないという。
でも、私の中の感性は、息を潜めてくれない。
せつない感情だけが、研ぎ澄まされていく。
In my parents' garden, there is a wisteria tree that my father planted and nurtured and my mother loved.
During the blooming season, it was a magnificent sight and was loved by the neighbors as a popular wisteria trellis.
When my father became unable to walk well, he was unable to maintain the garden.
It must have been a heavy burden for my younger brother, who came every weekend to do maintenance.
On a sunny day during the rainy season, my son climbed onto the stepladder and with an unaccustomed hand, my son put the scissors in.
My father looked out from the window and suddenly bowed his head, "I need you to cut down the wisteria tree," he said.
My mother in the hospital with diabetes and a stroke, though we're been banned from visiting my mother for a long time due to the COVID-19 disaster.
Every once in a while, when the hospital called, my father asked for my mother's permission to do so.
A large saw worked into the base of the wisteria tree that had been standing in our home for decades.
The energy that had been stretching the branch so freely died out before my eyes.
********.
In the middle of the night, when all around us was asleep, I alone carried the trash bags piled up in the yard.
Small chopped leaves and pieces of wood poked out, and my hands and feet were getting in cuts.
Lightning struck and heavy rain began to fall.
No matter how many times I went back and forth, the pile of trash bags didn't get smaller, and I cried in sad.
I couldn't take over the wisteria that my mother loved so much.
It is said that when we declutter a memory, we have to seal off our sensitivity.
But the sensibility inside of me still alive.
As my feeling has been sharpened, my afflictive was still markable.
人気ブログランキングへ
海外永住 ブログランキングへ "