関西生まれの父は、四人兄妹の三男坊で、喧嘩っ早く口が悪い。
感情を押し殺すことができず、思ったことをそのまま口に出すから、
脱サラから起業して会社を経営していた頃も、周囲には敵が多かった。
幼い頃、父の性格を受け継いでいた私は、何度も何度もたしなめられた。
喧嘩をして良いことなど一つもない、女性は静かに賢く生きなさい、と。
気性の激しい父の説教を、毎日毎日聞いていた母。
ひとつも反論することなく、受け入れる母を、私は尊敬していた。
半世紀以上、そうやって寄り添っていた。
糖尿病と心臓病と脳梗塞で倒れた母は、もう通常の生活は送れない。
水頭症が悪化して歩行困難な父は、それでも踏ん張って母の帰りを待っていた。
実家で藤の木を切るように頼まれた時、父が諦めたのだと分かった。
父一人では、実家で安全に暮らすことも限界だった。
せめて、同じ屋根の下で暮らしたい。
全介護が必要な母と、要介護３の父が一緒に過ごせる場所はあるのか。
費用や場所、諸条件を絞ると、東京都内では見つけられず、
北関東にまでエリアを広げて、介護ケア付きの老人ホームを探し続けた。
たくさんの書類審査と面接を経て、ようやく転院の日が決まった。
コロナ禍でずっと会えなかった母と父を先に介護タクシーに載せて、
私たち姉弟はそれぞれの車で追いかけた。
入所の直前だけ、家族水入らずの時間が与えられた。
手元に残った一枚の写真、こんなシーンもこれが最後かもしれない。
後ろ髪ひかれる思いで、私たち姉弟は東京に戻った。
母は介護付き病棟、父はベッド１つの狭い居室。
都内にある庭付き戸建て住宅を後にして、自ら選んだ終の住処。
父は、世間への未練を捨てるために、敢えて都会を離れた。
母は、毎日家に帰りたいと、声にならない声で訴えているそうだ。
今ほど、自分の境遇に逆らいたいと思っている時はない。
なぜ今コロナ禍で、なぜ今私はここにいるのだろう。
My father was born in Kansai, the west part of Japan, as the third-son with two brothers and one sister.
he can't hide his emotions, he just says what he thinks.
There were many enemies in the surroundings even when he was running a business after he quit the big company.
As a child, I might inherited my father's personality and was told over and over again.
There is nothing good for fighting, women should live quietly and wisely.
My mother who listened to the preaching of her husband, who has a strong temper.
I respected my mother without any objection.
For more than half a century, they have been so close together.
A mother who has fallen due to diabetes, heart disease and cerebral infarction can no longer lead a normal life.
My father, who had worse hydrocephalus and had difficulty walking, was still waiting for his wife's return.
When I was asked to cut the wisteria tree at my parents' house, I found out that my father gave up.
It was also the limit for one father to live safely at home.
At least they want to live under the same roof.
Is there a place where a mother who needs full care and a father who needs help can spend time together?
If we narrow down the cost, place, and conditions, we could not find it in Tokyo,
We extended the area to the northern Kanto area and continued to search for nursing homes with nursing care.
After a lot of paper examinations and interviews, the day for the transfer was finally decided.
Put the mother and father who couldn't meet for a long time in COVID-19 pandemic on the nursing taxi first,
We brothers chased each car.
Just before they moved-in, we were given a little time to spend only with my family.
This might be the last one of family photo that I have at hand.
We returned to Tokyo with the feeling that their back hair would be run over.
My mother stays a ward with care, and my father stays a small room with a bed.
After the detached house with a garden in Tokyo, he chose the last residence.
My father dared to leave the big city in order to abandon life.
My mother complains that she wants to go home every day.
Now I want to go against my circumstances.
Why is it now COVID-19 pandemic and why am I here now?
感情を押し殺すことができず、思ったことをそのまま口に出すから、
脱サラから起業して会社を経営していた頃も、周囲には敵が多かった。
幼い頃、父の性格を受け継いでいた私は、何度も何度もたしなめられた。
喧嘩をして良いことなど一つもない、女性は静かに賢く生きなさい、と。
気性の激しい父の説教を、毎日毎日聞いていた母。
ひとつも反論することなく、受け入れる母を、私は尊敬していた。
半世紀以上、そうやって寄り添っていた。
糖尿病と心臓病と脳梗塞で倒れた母は、もう通常の生活は送れない。
水頭症が悪化して歩行困難な父は、それでも踏ん張って母の帰りを待っていた。
実家で藤の木を切るように頼まれた時、父が諦めたのだと分かった。
父一人では、実家で安全に暮らすことも限界だった。
せめて、同じ屋根の下で暮らしたい。
全介護が必要な母と、要介護３の父が一緒に過ごせる場所はあるのか。
費用や場所、諸条件を絞ると、東京都内では見つけられず、
北関東にまでエリアを広げて、介護ケア付きの老人ホームを探し続けた。
たくさんの書類審査と面接を経て、ようやく転院の日が決まった。
コロナ禍でずっと会えなかった母と父を先に介護タクシーに載せて、
私たち姉弟はそれぞれの車で追いかけた。
入所の直前だけ、家族水入らずの時間が与えられた。
手元に残った一枚の写真、こんなシーンもこれが最後かもしれない。
後ろ髪ひかれる思いで、私たち姉弟は東京に戻った。
母は介護付き病棟、父はベッド１つの狭い居室。
都内にある庭付き戸建て住宅を後にして、自ら選んだ終の住処。
父は、世間への未練を捨てるために、敢えて都会を離れた。
母は、毎日家に帰りたいと、声にならない声で訴えているそうだ。
今ほど、自分の境遇に逆らいたいと思っている時はない。
なぜ今コロナ禍で、なぜ今私はここにいるのだろう。
My father was born in Kansai, the west part of Japan, as the third-son with two brothers and one sister.
he can't hide his emotions, he just says what he thinks.
There were many enemies in the surroundings even when he was running a business after he quit the big company.
As a child, I might inherited my father's personality and was told over and over again.
There is nothing good for fighting, women should live quietly and wisely.
My mother who listened to the preaching of her husband, who has a strong temper.
I respected my mother without any objection.
For more than half a century, they have been so close together.
A mother who has fallen due to diabetes, heart disease and cerebral infarction can no longer lead a normal life.
My father, who had worse hydrocephalus and had difficulty walking, was still waiting for his wife's return.
When I was asked to cut the wisteria tree at my parents' house, I found out that my father gave up.
It was also the limit for one father to live safely at home.
At least they want to live under the same roof.
Is there a place where a mother who needs full care and a father who needs help can spend time together?
If we narrow down the cost, place, and conditions, we could not find it in Tokyo,
We extended the area to the northern Kanto area and continued to search for nursing homes with nursing care.
After a lot of paper examinations and interviews, the day for the transfer was finally decided.
Put the mother and father who couldn't meet for a long time in COVID-19 pandemic on the nursing taxi first,
We brothers chased each car.
Just before they moved-in, we were given a little time to spend only with my family.
This might be the last one of family photo that I have at hand.
We returned to Tokyo with the feeling that their back hair would be run over.
My mother stays a ward with care, and my father stays a small room with a bed.
After the detached house with a garden in Tokyo, he chose the last residence.
My father dared to leave the big city in order to abandon life.
My mother complains that she wants to go home every day.
Now I want to go against my circumstances.
Why is it now COVID-19 pandemic and why am I here now?
