男の子の誕生を期待されながら、私は予定日よりずっと早く生まれた。
出張先にいた父は、女児誕生の知らせに落胆して、帰宅はずっと遅かった。
私はとても小さいくせに、とても癇の強い赤ちゃんだったらしい。
４歳下の弟が生まれた時、父方の祖父の喜びようはすさまじかった。
当時住んでいた都営住宅の庭からはみ出すぐらいの大きな鯉のぼりと、
小さな子供がすっぽり入るぐらいの大きな鎧兜（五月人形）が送られてきた。
弟は生後まもなく、急性肺炎になって死にかけた。
医者にはもう助からないと言われたけれど、奇跡的に命を取りとめた。
身体が弱く、アレルギー性結膜炎で、いつも目を真っ赤にしていた。
同じ小学校に入り、朝礼の時、先生が弟の名前を叫ぶのが恥ずかしかった。
心の弱い自閉症の仲間がたくさんいた小学校で「友愛の心」を学んでいたのに、
目が痒くて痛くて、じっと立っていることができない彼を、私は守れなかった。
年齢差もあり、中学以降は同じ学校に一緒に行った時期はなかったけれど、
弟はいつも、私の歩いた跡を辿るのが嫌だと言っていた。
バスケ部に入り、少しずつ身体も丈夫になった彼は、もう私を越えていた。
人の倍くらい学生時代を過ごした彼が、社会人になった頃には、
私はすでに異国の地にいて、一緒に過ごす機会はあまりなくなっていた。
でも、いつの間にか雑学博士になっていた彼に、私はいつも質問していた。
O型の姉と弟にはさまれたA型の私は、彼らの大らかさに救われてきた。
私は不要な部分に神経が行き過ぎて、肝心なところが抜けている。
戸籍や血縁に関係なく人を大切にする概念は、我が一族の家訓であり、
いろんな事情があってもやはり、丁度良い距離感が保たれているように思う。
両親が次々と倒れて、今は弟が頼みの綱。
リモートワークができないインフラ関係の仕事の合間に、
フットワーク軽く、姉貴たちの代わりをこなしてくれている。
なかなか言えないけれど、いつもありがとう。
そして、お誕生日おめでとう。
I was born much earlier than my due date, while my parents were expecting a boy.
My father, who was on a business trip, discouraged by the news of the birth of our baby girl, and came home much later.
Apparently I was a very small but very testy baby.
When my brother, four years younger than me, was born, my paternal grandfather's joy was tremendous.
He sent my brother the big carp streamer that was too long for our public apartment where we lived at the time,
and also a suit of armor that was big enough for a child to fit.
Shortly after my brother was born, he contracted acute pneumonia and nearly died.
The doctors said he couldn't survive, but miraculously, he survived.
His body was weak, he had allergic conjunctivitis and his eyes were always red.
He entered my elementary school and I was embarrassed when the teacher shouted his name during the morning assembly.
As we had a lot of weak-minded autistic peers i elementary school, we were learning about the "spirit of fraternity".
But I couldn't protect him.
Because of the age difference, we didn't go to the same school together at any time after middle school,
But my brother always said he didn't want to follow the trail I walked in.
He had joined the basketball team and was slowly getting stronger and stronger, and he was already beyond me.
He spent twice time in school as much as others, and he started to work.
I was already in a foreign land, and we didn't have much opportunity to spend time together anymore.
But before I knew it, he had become like a Dr. of miscellaneous studies, and I was always asking him questions.
As a blood-type person of A, stuck between the type of O, elder sister and brother, I have been saved by their magnanimity.
I'm overly nervous about unnecessary parts of my life, and I'm missing out on the important parts.
The concept of valuing people regardless of their family history or blood relationship is a family tradition in my family.
Even though there are a lot of circumstances, I still think they maintain just the right amount of distance.
My parents have been sick in the hospital, and now my brother is the one I'm counting on.
In between infrastructure jobs where he can't work remotely,
He works for my parents well, and does a great job filling in for his sisters.
It's hard to say, but thank you for everything.
And happy birthday to you.
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