(The original blog in Japanese is here. 「小さな応援歌」)
On that day, there were especially many harassers on the train.
It was a train car with seats facing each other along the left and right walls, like a commuter train.
The harasser sat on my left. His harassment seemed to keep his face turning to me while gazing out the rear window. I ignored him, but at one point I turned my face towards him. He then looked away. I deliberately stared at him for about three seconds. Then I turned my face back. The battle was over.
The battle was already decided, but this made it clear.
Then, three middle school students who had been chatting aimlessly diagonally across from me started to fidget and began whispering. It seemed they were discussing about these two, the harasser and me. They kept glancing at me. A battle between perpetrator and targeted invididual. It sounded like they were saying, "Hey, we lost." Up until that point, the harassers had been facing me the whole time, and I was only looking straight ahead, so from the middle schoolers' perspective, they couldn't tell if I was giving in to their harassment or if it was having no effect at all. But my three-second stare determined the outcome.
The middle schoolers kept wanting to get off the train. I heard them say, "Let's get off quickly." When we arrived at the next station, two of them quickly got off the train and left. The other one stayed still, so I thought he would get off at another station, but then he followed them off the train as if to say, "Don't leave me behind!" In the end, they had no destination.
They were probably novice harassers. They lacked the right demeanor. Were they apprentices, or was it just a game for them? Even when they were whispering, I could hear them, and I heard one of them say, "Shhh, be quieter," but the other two didn't seem to care at all, and they were talking in a way that I could hear several words. They were the kind of people who didn't seem to have any loyalty to the perpetrator group. They quickly got off the train. These kinds of people are loose-lipped. There's a possibility they'll spread rumors about what they saw and heard. It's dangerous for those using them. They've finally started to deploy people like this.
They were probably observing their older perpetrators. And perhaps they were trying to imitate how to carry out harassment. But when they realized it wasn't effective, they probably found it pointless. What the perpetrators are doing is ugly. Their goal is to make the target uncomfortable, so they do inappropriate things in public, make noticeable noises, act unnaturally, laugh loudly, and violate manners. Experienced people can do it skillfully, but to those who know what they're doing, they appear incredibly unpleasant. And above all, they're engaging in illegal activities such as sharing the target's location information and stalking or ambushing them. It seems likely that the middle school students gradually developed feelings of disgust and contempt for their older perpetrators who were doing these things.
If the older perpetrators were behaving admirably, possessing noble ideals, and leading exemplary lives, they would respect them and want to emulate them. But what they were doing was something entirely different, a bizarre world. It's no wonder the middle school students wanted to escape as quickly as possible.
The remaining harassers in the train car must have had mixed feelings. Being closer than me, he must have heard the middle school students' conversation. What must he have felt, witnessing the middle school students running away because of him? Defeat, emptiness, feelings of inferiority…
Then, another young man, clearly skilled at harassment, sat in the seats where the middle school students had been.
From a distance away, another harasser was repeatedly clearing his throat. However, since he was far from me, I thought it wouldn't be very effective to me. Because of the distance, he had to clear his throat quite loudly. This would only be a nuisance to those closer to him.
The throat clearing continued. I was gradually beginning to sense another possibility. There's that young man, the one who's been harassing me so many times, between me and the person who cleared their throat. It seems he's reacting to the throat clearing. It's a subtle situation, and I have to judge. He's wearing earphones, so he's supposed to be listening to music, but he doesn't seem to be enjoying it. He looks preoccupied and lost in thought. The way his body is bent, the stiffness... it looks like the person who cleared their throat is hitting him directly. The distance is just right.
I've seen several perpetrators adopt this posture before. It's exactly the same.
The phrase "you bastard" perfectly describes his current state. Or perhaps he's thinking, "What's this? Is he doing this to me?"
The throat clearing by harassers isn't perceived as harassment by the average passenger . Only the victim(targeted individual) knows. But actually, there are people other than the victim who understand. Those are the perpetrators themselves.
Even among perpetrators, they might despise each other because they're doing something shameful and disgusting. When you see someone who's particularly skilled at harassment, they're adept at it, but you feel a sense of disgust towards them as a person. You can see this kind of sense between the perpetrators themselves.
This person who cleared their throat might have seen the harassment in this vehicle completely fail and decided to retaliate. "Now's my chance, I'll teach these experienced harassers a lesson." They were pretending to harass me with the throat-clearing, but were actually targeting this young man. If they were going to do it to me, they'd need to be closer. But this was the perfect location and the perfect volume of throat-clearing for harassing the young man.
Later, if the young man says, "You bastard, you did it to me!", you can reply, "What are you talking about? Of course I'm doing it to the target. It's your fault for interpreting it that way."
Alternatively, you could say, "I'm working hard to harass the target, and if you say that to me, I'll report you to my superiors."
Alternatively, one could counter with, "Perhaps you, who are trying to interfere with my relentless harassment, are actually on the enemy's side?"
Could it be that people belonging to the perpetrators, who harbor doubts about the organization but are intimidated by its immense power and unable to do anything, are secretly beginning to rebel? Furthermore, there are likely those who were originally victims but, unable to bear the harassment any longer, reluctantly switched sides and are now participating in the harassment. These people are currently on the perpetrators' side, but they hate the perpetrators.
For the perpetrator organization, absolute victory is essential. If defeat seems imminent, these half-hearted perpetrators might think, "What, there's nothing to fear," or "The victims are winning," leading to contempt for the organization. Then, individuals secretly attempt to rebel against the organization while observing the situation. For the perpetrator group, being unable to maintain a winning streak becomes dangerous.
"Is the harasser harassing the other harasser?" I couldn't say for sure, but it felt like a possibility.
Anyway, when I got off at my destination station, the harassers were waiting again. Since it was a local train, I got off at a different station than usual, but they were still there waiting.
As I was about to go through the ticket gate, a man who had been near the exit moved and stood in a position that blocked my way. He puffed out his chest, exuding an intimidating presence, standing there as if waiting for someone. I slipped past him without changing my route, as if nothing had happened. And because of his awkward positioning, I passed him so close that our bodies almost touched. And that was the end of it.
He couldn received no reaction from me the target whatsoever. In fact, because I passed him so close and acted as if nothing had happened, he probably felt mocked. What must the other perpetrators have thought when they saw that? A sense of futility, defeat… How did the man who had stood there so intimidatingly try to salvage the situation afterward?
Since so many perpetrators were waiting at this small station, there must have been even more waiting at my usual station. I wondered if there was some kind of order to carry out the attack. That's probably why they involved even someone like that middle schooler—someone half-hearted, someone who carries risks to use. It's dangerous.
"Perpetrators are disappointed wuth other perpetrators."
"Perpetrators feel disgusted with other perpetrators."
"Perpetrators are harassing themselves."
It was a day that made me think about such things.
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( original japanese draft 01/28/2015)
Not for away, I plan to change the post date to the original post date.
