(originally posted on 2016-09-18 | 09:14:02)

 

 

I am now in my room 

at the hospital, 

taking baby steps.

 
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A bit while ago, 

The same doctor, who told me not to hide behind cancer, asked me:

 

“Mao!  How did you see the sky today?  How did it look to you?”  

 

I said:

“I didn’t feel very well so I couldn’t have a chance to look up to the sky today.” 

 

And Doctor said:

“That sounds a lame excuse!” 

 

 

“I don’t really have any room for that!!”

-        That’s what I replied in my mind. 

 

 

Ever since we met, 

my husband always says, 

 

“It’s a beautiful sky today.“

“New flowers have arrived in the park.“

“Air is so fresh.“ 

 

I’ve never met with any other person who always talks about such things.

 

I was always like

“yes yes.  it is…!”

 

I just said yes to him. J

didn’t really mean it…. 

 

That’s so true!!

I didn’t look up at the sky even when I was healthy.

 

I would admit that I am making an excuse that I am too sick to look up. J

 

Even though I look up at the sky 

from the window of the hospital every day, 

I don’t feel anything for most of the time. 

 

But,

I can appreciate it 

even if the sky looks heavy gray.