scare

Different culture is an obstacle for us.

When I came back to HK, I was not happy. Sometimes, I really wanna share my feelings to him, but I don’t know how to express. Although I tried my best to tell him, he cannot understand. Sometimes he understands, but his response is so cold.

For example, sometimes I shared some jokes with him. However, he cannot understand Chinese jokes and he didn’t laugh. That moment was so bad for me. His response made me become cold too.
We are couple, but we cannot understand each other’s feelings. How sad it was. We cannot communicate somehow.

I don’t know will he read my blog or did he ever read my blog. I dont care will he read or not. I just wanna express my feelings in here.

Before I took a test, and it showed that I had a baby. I was so scared at that moment. I was so helpless. I don’t know how to do. After I knew that I had BB, I just stayed at toilet and looked at my test for 5 minutes. That moment I was so confused. I got lost. There was nothing in my mind, besides scared. He never knows how helpless I was at that moment. HE never knows how many terrible things I faced in HK. He doesn’t know anything.

Be honestly, I considered ab this condition and I think I can birth our BB if my bf wants. Since that is our BB, I really don’t wanna kill him/her. I love my bf and I can do anything he wants even birth the baby. However, he rejected to birth our baby. He said “u need abortion.”

Do u know how hurt I was at that moment? I really think ab birth the BB bcos of him. But he never wanna has BB now. How stupid I was.

Do u know how terrible that abortion? It is so dangerous! It hurt the uterus so much. If i need , I just go to China alone and take abortion.

I am so so so sacred now..

and noone understnad me, even my bf


Tmr I will get my report from the doctor. I sincerely hope that I do not hav BB. If I hav BB; I really don’t want to kill him. That is our BB. Our baby!
Tmr I will get the report by myself. I am so scared and worry. But no one know how sacred I am. Nobody knows even my bf. I just endure and accept everything by myself.
Tmr is my nightmare. I think tonight I also cannot sleep well.

JP trip

Went back from JP

Trip in Japan =]
Day1 ~
This was my First time to go to Jp alone ! I was so excited but nervous…
I dont know how was his family and I was scared ab I cannot talk with them = =
After 5 hours flight, I went to airport.
When I came out from the airport, I saw my bf standing in front of the gate and waiting.
He was so cute ne! I was so happy to see him~
He told me that he was waiting at the airport for 2 hours …what a silly boy^^!
Then he drove me to his home! I was quite moved that he drove the car to pick me up.
He was so nice ! we went back home and visited his parents.
Then we went out for dinner *v*we ate sushi…fucking many sushi =] and went to night market!
 
 

Day2~
We went to fucking many places that day, Just shopping and eat!
the weather was so hot in JP. I almost die! But we had fun…since I can stay with him ^^
at mid night, he drove his motor bicycle to game centre with me
That was my first time to ride motor bicycle! So exciting~ So cooooool~
I really like that feeling~ I can hold his waist when I felt scared ><

 

 
 

Day3~
Today we also went to many famous places. Shopping and play!
We went to many game centers and took sticker photos…
At night, his family dated me and dinner with me.
They are so nice, so kind and especially her mother.
She tried to communicate with me many times.
his family was so polite and kinda funny. Kekeke!
I was so full today ><


 


Day4~
This morning, he hold me so tigh and said sth to me ...then,i wake up
He said that in his dream, he saw i was naked !He was so worry !
Then he wake up and hold me!
That moment , i totally understnad how much he lov me ><

Actually we planned to go to Disneyland this day. However, there were typhoon ><
So, we just go to Shibuya, where near his home! We just shopping and eat^^
when I backed home, his family asked me to sit and gave me so many presents…
I was so shocked. They are really nice to me! Today I was really happy=]
I was moved by his family and especially his mum's letter !
I know she tried so hard to write a letter for me , I was really moved
Of course, my bf did so well too. He is so understnading

 

Day 5~
today samsam cooked lunch for me and we went out for my final shopping.
Then we took the train to airport.
I had 3 baggage, and he took all of them! how sweet he was><
When we were in the train. We talked a lot. I really want to stay with him more>,<
1 hour later , we went to airport. Suddenly, he stopped and gave me a letter and a present.
I opened it, it was a Channel key bag. I was fucking shocked..
Then I read the letter, he said sth to me,……I cannot stop crying. He was so sweet.
This is the end of my trip in JP. All in all, I love the trip in JP.
I do enjoy everything with him in JP!
actually, even just go to 71 with him, I was so happy.
It is bcos of love !! I don’t need any special things.
Just stay him, everything will be special for me ^^
looking forward to visit his home country again in the future >< ''

wanna cry

jusst wanna cry

if he is a chinese, i think we can keep our relatonship easier !

but he is not

it is so hard for me to keep this relationship...

but i dont want to give up

i just love him...everything only him

i cry, i smile , angry and sad........everything bcos of him

he controls everything of me

i lost myself

without me, ur life = enjoy

without u , my life is not enjoy