written by the runner of ちょっと訳して.com
本日のクール英語： 「痛い！（「やられた～！」という意味で）」／「超かっこいい」
*日本語版はひとつ前の記事にアリ。
読む人いるワケないような気がしてものすごく気が進まないが、
書くと断言したので、英語版：
I bought a new fridge the other day and it arrived this morning.
My old fridge had a capacity of 167 liters.
Being super lazy, I often make foods that last long like vinegared rakkyo shallot,
lemon preserve and soy-sauce-cooked sansho pepper.
For this behavior of mine, some friends actually have mentioned something about
my high female capability, which is based totally on misunderstanding.
I make these because I really don't wanna make food everytime I eat food.
That means:
My woman ablility almost as low as the sea surface = Can't be confirmed by radars
Anyway, that's why I make bottled foods, and when people say good things about this,
it makes me feel ike apologizing. I am verrrry sorry, people!!
Where was I??
Oh, yes, so bottled foods I made had been gradually occupying the shelves in
my old fridge leaving so little space for faster-consumed, fresh foods.
I started to feel frustrated. I needed a larger one.
So I bought one. This time, a 260-liter one with plasmacluster function.
Extra space of almost 100 liters would give me so much freedom
when I put things in, I thought, naturally. But it wasn't as large as I expected.
That is mainly because 60% of the increased space is actually of the freezer.
But this large freezer was the key when I chose this model.
Because the freezer has 3 drawers inside!!!!
The freezer in the old one had two drawers with the upper one so shallow
and the lower one hopelessly deep, making the lower one a jungle of frozen food,
a frigid labyrinth of peas and shrimps, where nothing you're looking for can be
ever retrieved while a pack of discolored pork you haven't been looking for
pops out of nowhere. Being only 45-liter big, things got lost in there
miraculously easily. It was frustrating.
So, the three-drawer freezer really attracted me!!
Yet that's why the fridge area is only 48 liter bigger.....
Moreover, there was a really upsetting miscalculation:
―I can't put a microwave oven on top of it!!!
Since the new one is much taller, I thought I'd need a step
to put things in and out of the microwave, but the microwave
still could sit on the fridge.
So when the guy at Joshin said that I shouldn't put hot object on top of it,
I was shaken. But soon I thought,
"It only means that I can't use the microwave's oven feature, and
I can still nuke foods! Okay, I won't make anything that requires an oven."
And so I thought the problem was solved.
But the delivery guy informed me with a very disturbing info.
That is.....
That I'm not allowed to put ANYTHING on the fridge!!
ANYTHING!!!!
He got me. Ouch!! Very ouch!!!
And the guy even said,
"You can't even put a tray on it."
What is he saying??
What is he doing saying "tray" or something?!
Did I ask you if I could put a tray on the fridge? I don't think so!
You said I shouldn't put ANYTHING, which means I can't put a tray either!
I know! I heard you!
What made you think you had to say something about a tray?!
Well, anyhow I had to move around the microwave after they left
until I found the best place for the time being.
I had to move the cupboard, too, which left me a knee pain.
I've also started to feel a little ago that my hip joint maybe a bit sore too.
Another occasion when I could use a husband or two. (See 物体X The Thing .)
But after all I'm happy. Everything has gone to it's place,
the fridge is bigger however less than expected,
and the cooling power seems to be stronger than before.
When I open the door, the air is white!
It's so cool!!!!
It IS cool, you know!!
Since I have a knee pain and a hip joint pain, I'm going to bed now!!
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