Are people able to
stop worshiping coach, Larry Kehres like God?
Sure, Coach Kehres has coached on a
lot of teams here at Mount and is in charge with a number one football team in
the nation. And he has been at Mount for
a while now and during his time here, he has revolutionized Mount’s athletics
to what it is today.
He is being worshiped like God so
much that he gets better benefits than
President Giese, which may be deserved due to his tenure and coaching the ten
time national champion Purple Raider football team. But this worshiping of Coach Kehres has
probably given him a God complex as huge as Oprah Winfrey.
But with that God complex of his,
Coach Kehres is flaunting his golf cart around the Mount campus, probably
running people over, like he wants people to come up to him and praise him for
performing some weird miracle or something.
Sure, the football team has been a
way to get more students on campus, but seriously, the campus population of the
football team is 11 percent. So, it is
expected that the football minority should worship Coach Kehres. But when the whole Mount Union community
praises him like God, it is like giving the middle finger to whatever deity is
out there.
As a suggestion, Coach Kehres should
give rides more to students on the golf cart he flaunts all over the Mount
campus instead of only giving rides to injured athletes and girls named Aria.
Finally, if Kehres’s God complex gets
any larger, we might see a probable plague of biblical proportion on the Mount
campus in the near future.