思ったより強い！ そして。。。ママは変
Yesterday we were in Tokyo...from 8am to about 6pm.
昨日東京に行ってきた。。。朝の８時から夜の６時ぐらい
We were seated on the train for perhaps 2 hours of that time.
２時間ぐらい電車を載って
Seated for another one hour.
用事があって。。。その１時間も座ってた
The rest of the time we were on our feet.
けど残りの時間は。。。立ってた、歩いてた
My feet hurt by the end of the day, but I did not admit it and didn't tell my daughter.
私の足。。。も３時ぐらい痛くて、痛くてしょうがない。。。けど。。。娘に言わなかった
I was waiting for her to start whining and say something like, "mom I am tired" or "mom, hold me"
キット。。。後も少しで文句を言いだす。。。と思ったのに。。。言わなかった。 例えば ”ママ疲れた”とか。。。”ママ抱っこ！”
But it was 6pm and we were getting out of the train...
６時電車から下りて
And she was energetic enough to take many flights of stairs up...and go shopping with me (sashimi for dinner)
まだまだ元気だった。。。階段を登って、その後、スーパで買い物 (夕飯の刺身とのり)
Her energy knows no bounds, it is amazing.
わああ、本当に元気、信じられない元気。
I thought she was tough...but she is tougher than even my expectations
強いの分かったけど。。。。。。。私の期待より強い。。。ビックリ
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
Do you know the book about "Tiger mom" by Amy Chua?
"Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"の本ってご存知ですか？
Is is a Chinese woman raised in America by very strict Chinese immigrant parents
厳しい育ちで育てた中国人。。。と彼女の子育ての経験、意見の話
It was a huge sensation in America
アメリカでは。。。大人気。。。
Some people loved the book
ある人。。。その本が大好きだった
While others hated it, were repulsed by it and even sent her death threats
けど。。。好きな人より。。。嫌いな人の方が大方かな？ 彼女に”死ね”のメールもしてたらしい！
She herself raised her children with very high expectations and was really enthusiastic (a freak about?!) her children's education
彼女は。。。厳しく自分の子供を育てた。 すごい、すごい、教育ママです。 熱心だけじゃなくて。。。。。。。本当に”教育”ママでした
She said a few things in the book I do not agree with.
その本で。。。私は。。。同意しない
But she said some things that I found valid.
けど。。。ある書いたこと。。。本当に”正しい”と思った
One such thing is, she said that Chinese mothers assume strength. (of their children)
一つ賛成した事は。。。”中国のママは自分の子が強い”
Chinese parents assume their children are strong.
中国の親は。。。自分の子供は強いと思っている
And assume that their children and withstand a certain amount of criticism
子供は強くて、批判を受けられる
Not only from Amy Chua's book......
彼女の本だけじゃなくて。。。
I read somewhere that..."the more you assume your child is smart and able........the more indeed they will be smart"
どっかニュースや誰かの実験で読みました。 自分は”子供は賢い”と思っていると。。。本当に賢い子になるんだ
I wonder how valid that research is
本当かしら
Ever since my daughter was young, I have always assumed she could do things and understand things even though she was young.
リナの子供頃から、いつも思った”まだ小さいけどできる”
I let her use a knife from a very early age (supervised)
２歳から自分で包丁を持たせた （モチロン私はそばで見ている！）
I ask her questions related to science like "why is it hard to put on dry arm floaties?"
いつも彼女に質問する”なぜ。。。水で濡らしていない手、腕にウキワをはくのは難しい？”
These days if you ask her why it's hard to slide down a wet slide, she'll probably give you an answer related to friction
最近。。。彼女に聞いてみたら”なぜ濡れた滑り台は。。。滑りにくい？”。。。答えは。。。たぶん”摩擦" とかを言います
I taught her early on words that are kind of tough for kids: reflection, friction, and gravity.
難しい言葉少し教えた。。。反射、摩擦、重力
They are basic principles in science...so it is better to be familiar earlier than later, I figure
科学の基礎、基本の物ので、速く覚えといた方がいいと思って
I don't expect her to fully grasp the concepts, but have been surprised by what she already understands.
モチロン。。。完全に”わかる”分けない。。。けど。。。 以外に分かっている
I always assume she is smart.
私の仮定は。。。彼女は賢い。
And sometimes she is smarter than what I think
たまに。。。私の期待より頭がいい。。。ビックリする
One of the big problems I have...is using a simpler English vocabulary when I am around her
行けないのは。。。私いつも簡単な英語しか使わない
But.........surprisingly, her English lexicon.....is much wider than I had expected...sometimes she surprises me.
けど。。。以外に彼女が知っている英語の言葉。。。思ったほど知っている。。。ｍｍｍ。。。たまに驚く
So I have to remember to speak even more difficult words in English without hesitation
だから、忘れず、遠慮なく難しい英語の言葉も使わなきゃ
It is said that children raised by some fathers have a larger lexicon because fathers do not do the "baby talk" thing
聞いたのは。。。パパで育てた子は。。。単語色々知っている。 パパ達は”赤ちゃん言葉”あまり使わないから
It could be true.
ｍｍｍ、そうかも
It is said that children raised by single fathers are more interested in science and other aspects of education
そして、シングルパパで育てた子の方が科学とか。。。の興味ある。
But...I am sure there are plenty of wonderful single moms who encourage their kids to get into science too
けど。。。きっとパパだけじゃなくて。。。シングルママ科学を子供に教えるママもいる
But.......according to some, single mothers are more likely to get their daughters into just fashion, shopping, and
ある記事書いてたのは。。。シングルママで子育てた子は。。。娘の興味は買い物とファションぐらいだけ。
All I know...is that I myself grew up with newspapers, US News, and Popular Science magazines around me.
私知っているのは。。。私のパパ、シングルパパは。。。いつも周り。。。新聞、ニュース雑誌、と科学雑誌が置いてあった
My uncle always had "Scientific American" "National geographic" "astronomy" and the local paper at his house...I was often poking my nose into those... They were always fascinating and explained why he always knew so much about just about everything.
カナダの叔父さん。。。沢山科学関係雑誌を持ってた。 私よくその雑誌を読んでた。。。面白かった！ だからおじさんは。。。何でもに詳しいです！
In 6th grade, my favorite magazine was "popular science"....ummm, yeah, can we say major geek???......most girls around me at that age were into mags like "Seventeen" or something
６年生の時、私の好きな雑誌は”人気科学”だった。 オタクでしょう？！ 周りの女の子は。。。皆ファション雑誌を読んでたけど
My father hated fashion magazines and it was not until my last year of high school that I actually started buying some
家のパパは。。。ファション雑誌何て大嫌いだった。 私は。。。高校生の最後の一年から、買った
And...strangely enough...after I started to buy them, it was just like dad said.
そして、パパが言ったとうり。。。。。
I felt uglier, less fashionable, was less satisfied with what I had, started to be conscious about my belly and weight, and just wanted more material goods.
読むと自分が”ぶさい”と思って、自分の体は太っていると思って、自信がなくなって、”物”を欲しくなって、ファションを気にしてた。
Terrible. So many fashion mags just make us feel bad. Why do we even buy them?
最低です。 ファション雑誌を読むと。。。気が悪くなる。。。 よく買うね、皆！
Now when I see them, I think of it as "art" and not reality
今、ファション雑誌を見る時、”アート”と思っている。 事実じゃなくて、アートです。
That and lots of photoshopping (photo editing) (most photos in American mags are all heavily photoshopped...from the curves of models......to even teeth color)
あああ、アメリカのファション雑誌。。。けっこ写真編集やっていますよ！
Which is why......I don't want my own daughter buy fashion magazines until she has finished high school.
だから、リナを大きくなって。。。余り読んで欲しくない、ファション雑誌
Girls have enough insecurities as it is, why exacerbate it with magazines that just prey on their fears?
女性。。。も十分不安ので。。。ファション雑誌を読むと、よけい不安になるじゃない？
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
One thing I see time and time here in Japan......
日本でよく見るのは
Is mothers who spoil their children...and do EVERYTHING FOR THEM.
ママは全て、ス・べ・テ子供にやってあげること。。。
I understand they want to be a good mom and all
いいお母さんになりたい。。。。。。 気持ち分かるけど
But they are in fact doing them a great disservice and hindering their child's development
けど。。。実際。。。そうすると。。。子供は成長出来ない
I observed Lina's class with the parents twice
何回リナのクラスに行って（クラス見学見たい）
Each time........quite often.....the parent just finished the darn thing for the child
と毎回見た。 全部子供のためにやっている親
Okay.......and this helps your child how???
子供。。。成長出来ないじゃ。。。
Is this your art project or your child's?
誰のアートですか？ 親の？ 子供の？
We went to a kindergarten two years ago to see what the kindy was like.
１回。。。ある幼稚園の未就園児に行って。。。 その幼稚園の雰囲気などを知りたかった
They told us to make a craft
クラフトを一緒に作る
I just let Lina go wild...
リナに任せした
The other parents made their craft exactly like the "sample" one they showed
他の子のは。。。親が作ったそれとも。。。親を全部教えた。 皆のは。。。見本とソックリ
(Lina's looked nothing like the example リナのは。。。見本のと全然違う。。。先生がビックリしたみたい)
I thought "this is not the right kindergarten for my child" "not at all"
私は思ったのは。。。”この幼稚園は。。。全然家に子にむいていない” ”全然！”
I will admit...sometimes I just want to do the whole thing for my daughter...and my husband comes over and says "hey......who's art is it after all?"
私もたまに。。。リナのアートをやってあげたい。。。全部やりたい時ある。。。 と。。。ハニーは。。。それを見て。。。ええええ、大体誰の作品ですか？ を言われちゃう。。。。。
If children are never allowed to do things on their own, how will they ever learn and become independent?
子供は自分で頑張らないと。。。どやって自立になる？
Lina relied on me quite heavily
小さい頃から、リナはけっこ私に頼ってた
Seeing this, I was worried
これを見て。。。少し心配してた
Sure...reliance is a sign of trust. That's a good thing.
親に頼ることが出来るのは。。。モチロンいいこと。。。 親を信頼出来るの素晴らしい事と思う
But she's rely on me to do things she could CLEARLY DO herself.
ただ。。。 本当に簡単な物を私に頼んだ
But overreliance...depending on me for things she could clearly do by herself
頼り過ぎた感じ
That was alarming.
それは心配
And her big thing was whining "I can't do it, I can't do it"
と。。。よく文句言った”出来ない、出来ない””ままああああ、出来ない出来ない！！！”
So, I started to say a new quote "mom will never ask you to do something you cannot do...I only tell you to do things I KNOW you can do. in the case you cannot do it, I will always be tehre to help you, but things I KNOW you can do, I will not help you with"
その後、新しい事を考えた。私はリナの”できない”を聞く時、これを言います”ママは無理の事を頼まないから。 リナは絶対出来ることしか頼まない。本当に出来ない時助けるから、安心して”
And another thing I have recently started to say (when she says, mamaaaaa, I cannot dooooo it!!!!!!!")
最近。。。も４歳になったから。。。これも言い出した
is, "be smart. If you cannot do it. THINK OF A WAY SO THAT YOU CAN"
出来ないなら、考えて。 頭を使って。。。出来るように頑張って。そのやり方はダメだったら、他の方法をチャレンジしたら？
After she has accomplished something she thought she could not do...
出来なさそう事を出来たら。。。
The look on her face is priceless
あの顔。。。あの顔は。。。”金”です
The look of confidence and "I can do it"
自信ついて、”やった”感じ
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
Long ago I forgot a spoon for our yogurt in our lunch.
大分前、お弁当にスプーンを入れるの忘れた（ヨグールトを食べるために。。。スプーン）
She said "mom, let's ask for a spoon at the supermarket"
リナが言ってたのは。。。スーパーに行こう
I said "sure we can do that...but say there is no supermarket...then what do we do?"
けど。。。私は。。。彼女に言ったのは”もし。。。近くにスーパーがなければ？ そしてどうする？”
"Let's think...can we make a spoon out of something?"
考えよう。。。何かでスプーンを作れない？
Then I made a spoon out of paper that we had in our lunch.
そして。。。紙でスプーンを作った
I want her to think on the spot. Problem-solving early on in life.
その場で考える... 早く自分でを色々解決してほしい
Think creatively and not be boxed in by "boundaries"
創造的な考えを持ってほしいです！
Life is all about improv.
人生は。。。即興すること。。。
If I can teach her to adapt in any situation, solve a problem despite any difficulties.......
頭をよく使えば、問題を簡単に解決できれば、
She can survive anywhere.
どこでも住める
We might not live in Japan in the future...so I want her to be mentally tough.
未来。。。日本に住まないかも知らない。 だから、強くになって欲しいです
Some of my mother friends were surprised by my "rough mother tactics" but I simply told them,
あるママ友驚いた。。。 ”ラフ”だな。。。。と言われた。。。けど私の返事は。。。
"I want to raise a child that can live anywhere in the world, not only insular Japan."
日本だけじゃなくて、どもでも住める子を育ちたい
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
One more thing is praise...
も一つのは。。。褒めること
I agree that all children should be praised and praised often
子供をよく褒めるのは。。。賛成します。。。
But........I don't like to praise lukewarm efforts.
けど。。。イマイチの場合、私余り褒めない
I mean......if a child is praised for just some so-so work.....why should they even bother trying harder?
イマイチの褒めたら、も頑張らなくてもいい感じ。。。（子供思っちゃう）
When my daughter does a mediocre job, my reaction is just that "oh, I see..."
リナは”まあまああ”やった時、私の反応は”あああ、そうね。。。ｍｍｍｍ”
But when she really tries her best, and does an amazing job, I show just how impressed I am "wow, that is really something!!!!"
けど、本当に頑張る時、素晴らしい時、すごい褒める。
She likes to compose music and original songs
自分を作曲する。。。
Usually it's nonsense and not really catchy...
普段。。。くだらない音楽。。。。。。余り人気なさそう歌
But once she came up with a really great tune...and even honey really was impressed......and we often sing it at home
けど。。。１回。。。すごい上手に作曲した！ パパも驚いたぐらい上手だった。 それから、たまに。。。リナの曲を家で歌う、皆で
It goes like this... (the tune is really catchy...I was surprised)
You don't have a good idea
But I have many good ideas
You don't have a good idea
So you're not as good as me (HA HA!)
The last line I added and help change...and it's said in a joking fashion...to poke fun at each other...... 最後のは。。。酷い冗談です。。。
By not praising everything, I am raising her standards for herself...and being honest.
全てを褒めないから、本人も分かる。。。 上に目指さないとダメ。 正直な称賛は一番。
I think children are a bit shocked in life......because they grow up for the first 5 or so years....with everyone telling them how great they are, cute they are, wonderful they are.......and how wonderful everything is
子供は。。。きっと驚いている。 小学生になる前、何でも”すごい””素晴らしい””素敵””上手”。。。。。。。”可愛い”やること。。。何でも”リッパ”です
Suddenly.....they go to elementary school and reality hits.
けど小学生になると。。。事実。。。そして。。。ドン
They realize...dang, they are not so great after all. They are no better than average.
あああ、結局。。。そこまで上手じゃなかった。 フツです。
Not EVERY piece of art they draw or make is great after all.
アートも。。。全て素晴らしいわけじゃない
And that is, yes, probably pretty darn shocking for kids.
ショック受けちゃう？
I think it is better to learn early in life that "all people, at some point, fail"
私の意見だけ。。。だけど。。。子供は早く覚えた方がいい。 失敗するのは当然です
The important being...how you recover after failure
大切のは。。。失敗の経験があって、勉強になる
I was glad the other day my daughter fell off her bike.
先日。。。娘は自転車から落ちえて。。。 あああ、良かったと思った
You read it, yes, I was glad.
そう。 良かった
Because she fell off her bike at a very good location...not too dangerous but......enough so it gave her a good scare
いい場所で転んだ。 危険じゃない所。。。 けど十分彼女を怖がってた
Dang....after that, she was very careful about riding and now, each time gets off her bike when approaching a similar "ditch"
その後、自転車を載って、十分注意して、乗る。。。 そして危ない所があったら、自転車から降りていきます。
Little failures teach us things, make us more careful in life.
人生の失敗は。。。一番勉強になる。。。 失敗すると、もっと気を付ける
When she runs down a steep hill somewhere...I assess the potential damage...........worst case scenario.
彼女は。。。急な坂道を駆け降りる時。。。私は。。。最低のケースを考える。
Usually if I cannot imagine she'll break a leg or bone...I'll let her run down the hill
もし。。。骨がおりそうじゃに。。。。やらせる
Once, a mom just got finished shouting at her kids "DO NOT RUN DOWN THE HILL"
１回。。。あるお母さんが”坂道から走っちゃダメ！”を叫んだ途端、
When Lina told me, "mama, I wanna run down the hill" and I said..."go for it (slightly wet surface)
リナ私に言った”ママ。。。イイ?” そして。。。やらせた（少しだけ濡れた坂道）
I figured, if she fell...she'd become more careful in the future
まああ。。。転んだら、今度もっと気を付ける
(she is cautious, so she almost never runs at full speed down a hill...もともと。。。気を付ける子。。。フールスピードで坂道を下がらない。。。。 If a kid hits their head falling back on a slippery surface it is dangerous...so again, use your judgement! 滑りやすい時、頭を打つ可能性あるので、気を付けてね ）
She did her usual thing, shouting "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" while running down the hill
いつもと同じ叫びながら坂道から降りた。。。。”ういいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい”を叫んだ
It's her favorite thing to do. Shout "weeeeeeeeeeeeee" as she is flying down a big hill.
彼女の大好きな事。。。 坂道を降りながら。。。ウイいいいいい”を叫ぶ
Little things like that are the thrill in life.
それ見たいのは。。。人生の楽しい事です
Even as an adult, I still do it.
私。。。大人のに、まだやっているよ。
People look at me as if I am nuts
周りの人。。。変な顔するけど
But I love it and don't care about anyone's reaction
けど、大好き、周りの人を全然気にしない
We ride our bike down big hills in our town...and shout "weeeeeee" at the top of our lungs until we cannot shout anymore
自転車を載る時。。。大きい坂からすごいスピードで降りるのは。。。最高です。 ウイいいいい。。。を叫びがら。。。。
(not on rainy days and not when autumn leaves are piled up and chances of slipping are high 雨の日しない。。。そして落ち葉多い時もやらない。。。。大変危険ので、さすがその時やらない)
It makes me feel alive and is psychologically so refreshing.
自転車を載って、叫んで。。。ああああ、大変気持ちです。 すごい生きている感じ。
At Potiron no Mori (park near Narita) we went down a big hill and both shouted on the way down
ＰＯＴＩＲＯＮの森。。。大きな坂道があって。。。そこで。。。降りながら叫んだ、私たち
All the Japanese parents were shocked at the sight
いや。。。少し周りの人は驚いてたみたい
Noisy daughter AND mother shouting down the steep path
煩い子供とお母さん。 険路を降りながら、叫んでいる
Some people gave me an irritated look or "you are stupid" look
ある人私を見て”嫌な顔”してた。。。それとも”バカだな”な感じ
But I don't care.
けど。。。別にいい
My daughter loves that hill...and repeatedly runs down it.
リナはその坂道が大好き。。。何回上から下まで走る
When Lina was young.......she did not sense that mom was a bit off kilter compared to others
リナのもっと小さい頃。。。分からなかったみたい。。 ママが変です
But now she is older and goes to kindergarten...
けど最近。。。幼稚園に行っている。。。
And she has finally started to notice....
漸く気づいたみたい
That mom is a bit "weird"
ママは。。。何か変
And different compared to other moms.
他のママと違って、変
I told her, "it is because I am an Alien"
彼女に言った”ママは宇宙人”だから
Look right here (pointing at my ALIEN CARD...it in fact says ALIEN!) at my ID card - it says ALIEN
”ホラ見て。。。ママは宇宙人のカードを持っているよ。。。ホラ。。。書いている。。。宇宙人”
I love kindergarten kids because at that age.......they still think different is cool
幼稚園生が大好き。。。その頃。。。”変わっている人”は楽しいと思っている
However...whenever I go to elementary schools, most kids just give me a weirded out look
けど。。。小学生になると。。。 私みたいの人を見ると”変なの”と思ってしまう
But anyway...I don't care
けど。。。余りかまいません。
I am not Japanese and will never fit in this country, so why bother trying.
私は。。。日本人じゃない。。。いくら長く日本に住んでても。。。”日本人”にならない。。。 だから、余り無理をしていない
So long as I don't am not a public nuisance or danger to others, it's fine
大きな迷惑じゃなければ、危険じゃなければ、大丈夫と思う。
And basically we follow normal rules and basic etiquette in Japan
普段のルール、行儀を守っているし。
Anyway, I have no idea if my way of child-raising is correct.......
とにかく。。。私の子育てやり方は。。。正しいかどうか。。。を分からない
But I do know that Lina is really mature for her age
けど。。知っているのは。。。リナは。。。４歳のに、色々も分かっている
Is very considerate
思いやりある
And has better self-control than even me
そして、私よりセルフコントロールがあるんだ
So.......so far so good, I guess...heh heh.
だから、今のところ。。。大丈夫。 はは。
Get back to me when she's 18
１８歳ぐらいになってから、本当に分かると思う。
昨日東京に行ってきた。。。朝の８時から夜の６時ぐらい
We were seated on the train for perhaps 2 hours of that time.
２時間ぐらい電車を載って
Seated for another one hour.
用事があって。。。その１時間も座ってた
The rest of the time we were on our feet.
けど残りの時間は。。。立ってた、歩いてた
My feet hurt by the end of the day, but I did not admit it and didn't tell my daughter.
私の足。。。も３時ぐらい痛くて、痛くてしょうがない。。。けど。。。娘に言わなかった
I was waiting for her to start whining and say something like, "mom I am tired" or "mom, hold me"
キット。。。後も少しで文句を言いだす。。。と思ったのに。。。言わなかった。 例えば ”ママ疲れた”とか。。。”ママ抱っこ！”
But it was 6pm and we were getting out of the train...
６時電車から下りて
And she was energetic enough to take many flights of stairs up...and go shopping with me (sashimi for dinner)
まだまだ元気だった。。。階段を登って、その後、スーパで買い物 (夕飯の刺身とのり)
Her energy knows no bounds, it is amazing.
わああ、本当に元気、信じられない元気。
I thought she was tough...but she is tougher than even my expectations
強いの分かったけど。。。。。。。私の期待より強い。。。ビックリ
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
Do you know the book about "Tiger mom" by Amy Chua?
"Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"の本ってご存知ですか？
Is is a Chinese woman raised in America by very strict Chinese immigrant parents
厳しい育ちで育てた中国人。。。と彼女の子育ての経験、意見の話
It was a huge sensation in America
アメリカでは。。。大人気。。。
Some people loved the book
ある人。。。その本が大好きだった
While others hated it, were repulsed by it and even sent her death threats
けど。。。好きな人より。。。嫌いな人の方が大方かな？ 彼女に”死ね”のメールもしてたらしい！
She herself raised her children with very high expectations and was really enthusiastic (a freak about?!) her children's education
彼女は。。。厳しく自分の子供を育てた。 すごい、すごい、教育ママです。 熱心だけじゃなくて。。。。。。。本当に”教育”ママでした
She said a few things in the book I do not agree with.
その本で。。。私は。。。同意しない
But she said some things that I found valid.
けど。。。ある書いたこと。。。本当に”正しい”と思った
One such thing is, she said that Chinese mothers assume strength. (of their children)
一つ賛成した事は。。。”中国のママは自分の子が強い”
Chinese parents assume their children are strong.
中国の親は。。。自分の子供は強いと思っている
And assume that their children and withstand a certain amount of criticism
子供は強くて、批判を受けられる
Not only from Amy Chua's book......
彼女の本だけじゃなくて。。。
I read somewhere that..."the more you assume your child is smart and able........the more indeed they will be smart"
どっかニュースや誰かの実験で読みました。 自分は”子供は賢い”と思っていると。。。本当に賢い子になるんだ
I wonder how valid that research is
本当かしら
Ever since my daughter was young, I have always assumed she could do things and understand things even though she was young.
リナの子供頃から、いつも思った”まだ小さいけどできる”
I let her use a knife from a very early age (supervised)
２歳から自分で包丁を持たせた （モチロン私はそばで見ている！）
I ask her questions related to science like "why is it hard to put on dry arm floaties?"
いつも彼女に質問する”なぜ。。。水で濡らしていない手、腕にウキワをはくのは難しい？”
These days if you ask her why it's hard to slide down a wet slide, she'll probably give you an answer related to friction
最近。。。彼女に聞いてみたら”なぜ濡れた滑り台は。。。滑りにくい？”。。。答えは。。。たぶん”摩擦" とかを言います
I taught her early on words that are kind of tough for kids: reflection, friction, and gravity.
難しい言葉少し教えた。。。反射、摩擦、重力
They are basic principles in science...so it is better to be familiar earlier than later, I figure
科学の基礎、基本の物ので、速く覚えといた方がいいと思って
I don't expect her to fully grasp the concepts, but have been surprised by what she already understands.
モチロン。。。完全に”わかる”分けない。。。けど。。。 以外に分かっている
I always assume she is smart.
私の仮定は。。。彼女は賢い。
And sometimes she is smarter than what I think
たまに。。。私の期待より頭がいい。。。ビックリする
One of the big problems I have...is using a simpler English vocabulary when I am around her
行けないのは。。。私いつも簡単な英語しか使わない
But.........surprisingly, her English lexicon.....is much wider than I had expected...sometimes she surprises me.
けど。。。以外に彼女が知っている英語の言葉。。。思ったほど知っている。。。ｍｍｍ。。。たまに驚く
So I have to remember to speak even more difficult words in English without hesitation
だから、忘れず、遠慮なく難しい英語の言葉も使わなきゃ
It is said that children raised by some fathers have a larger lexicon because fathers do not do the "baby talk" thing
聞いたのは。。。パパで育てた子は。。。単語色々知っている。 パパ達は”赤ちゃん言葉”あまり使わないから
It could be true.
ｍｍｍ、そうかも
It is said that children raised by single fathers are more interested in science and other aspects of education
そして、シングルパパで育てた子の方が科学とか。。。の興味ある。
But...I am sure there are plenty of wonderful single moms who encourage their kids to get into science too
けど。。。きっとパパだけじゃなくて。。。シングルママ科学を子供に教えるママもいる
But.......according to some, single mothers are more likely to get their daughters into just fashion, shopping, and
ある記事書いてたのは。。。シングルママで子育てた子は。。。娘の興味は買い物とファションぐらいだけ。
All I know...is that I myself grew up with newspapers, US News, and Popular Science magazines around me.
私知っているのは。。。私のパパ、シングルパパは。。。いつも周り。。。新聞、ニュース雑誌、と科学雑誌が置いてあった
My uncle always had "Scientific American" "National geographic" "astronomy" and the local paper at his house...I was often poking my nose into those... They were always fascinating and explained why he always knew so much about just about everything.
カナダの叔父さん。。。沢山科学関係雑誌を持ってた。 私よくその雑誌を読んでた。。。面白かった！ だからおじさんは。。。何でもに詳しいです！
In 6th grade, my favorite magazine was "popular science"....ummm, yeah, can we say major geek???......most girls around me at that age were into mags like "Seventeen" or something
６年生の時、私の好きな雑誌は”人気科学”だった。 オタクでしょう？！ 周りの女の子は。。。皆ファション雑誌を読んでたけど
My father hated fashion magazines and it was not until my last year of high school that I actually started buying some
家のパパは。。。ファション雑誌何て大嫌いだった。 私は。。。高校生の最後の一年から、買った
And...strangely enough...after I started to buy them, it was just like dad said.
そして、パパが言ったとうり。。。。。
I felt uglier, less fashionable, was less satisfied with what I had, started to be conscious about my belly and weight, and just wanted more material goods.
読むと自分が”ぶさい”と思って、自分の体は太っていると思って、自信がなくなって、”物”を欲しくなって、ファションを気にしてた。
Terrible. So many fashion mags just make us feel bad. Why do we even buy them?
最低です。 ファション雑誌を読むと。。。気が悪くなる。。。 よく買うね、皆！
Now when I see them, I think of it as "art" and not reality
今、ファション雑誌を見る時、”アート”と思っている。 事実じゃなくて、アートです。
That and lots of photoshopping (photo editing) (most photos in American mags are all heavily photoshopped...from the curves of models......to even teeth color)
あああ、アメリカのファション雑誌。。。けっこ写真編集やっていますよ！
Which is why......I don't want my own daughter buy fashion magazines until she has finished high school.
だから、リナを大きくなって。。。余り読んで欲しくない、ファション雑誌
Girls have enough insecurities as it is, why exacerbate it with magazines that just prey on their fears?
女性。。。も十分不安ので。。。ファション雑誌を読むと、よけい不安になるじゃない？
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
One thing I see time and time here in Japan......
日本でよく見るのは
Is mothers who spoil their children...and do EVERYTHING FOR THEM.
ママは全て、ス・べ・テ子供にやってあげること。。。
I understand they want to be a good mom and all
いいお母さんになりたい。。。。。。 気持ち分かるけど
But they are in fact doing them a great disservice and hindering their child's development
けど。。。実際。。。そうすると。。。子供は成長出来ない
I observed Lina's class with the parents twice
何回リナのクラスに行って（クラス見学見たい）
Each time........quite often.....the parent just finished the darn thing for the child
と毎回見た。 全部子供のためにやっている親
Okay.......and this helps your child how???
子供。。。成長出来ないじゃ。。。
Is this your art project or your child's?
誰のアートですか？ 親の？ 子供の？
We went to a kindergarten two years ago to see what the kindy was like.
１回。。。ある幼稚園の未就園児に行って。。。 その幼稚園の雰囲気などを知りたかった
They told us to make a craft
クラフトを一緒に作る
I just let Lina go wild...
リナに任せした
The other parents made their craft exactly like the "sample" one they showed
他の子のは。。。親が作ったそれとも。。。親を全部教えた。 皆のは。。。見本とソックリ
(Lina's looked nothing like the example リナのは。。。見本のと全然違う。。。先生がビックリしたみたい)
I thought "this is not the right kindergarten for my child" "not at all"
私は思ったのは。。。”この幼稚園は。。。全然家に子にむいていない” ”全然！”
I will admit...sometimes I just want to do the whole thing for my daughter...and my husband comes over and says "hey......who's art is it after all?"
私もたまに。。。リナのアートをやってあげたい。。。全部やりたい時ある。。。 と。。。ハニーは。。。それを見て。。。ええええ、大体誰の作品ですか？ を言われちゃう。。。。。
If children are never allowed to do things on their own, how will they ever learn and become independent?
子供は自分で頑張らないと。。。どやって自立になる？
Lina relied on me quite heavily
小さい頃から、リナはけっこ私に頼ってた
Seeing this, I was worried
これを見て。。。少し心配してた
Sure...reliance is a sign of trust. That's a good thing.
親に頼ることが出来るのは。。。モチロンいいこと。。。 親を信頼出来るの素晴らしい事と思う
But she's rely on me to do things she could CLEARLY DO herself.
ただ。。。 本当に簡単な物を私に頼んだ
But overreliance...depending on me for things she could clearly do by herself
頼り過ぎた感じ
That was alarming.
それは心配
And her big thing was whining "I can't do it, I can't do it"
と。。。よく文句言った”出来ない、出来ない””ままああああ、出来ない出来ない！！！”
So, I started to say a new quote "mom will never ask you to do something you cannot do...I only tell you to do things I KNOW you can do. in the case you cannot do it, I will always be tehre to help you, but things I KNOW you can do, I will not help you with"
その後、新しい事を考えた。私はリナの”できない”を聞く時、これを言います”ママは無理の事を頼まないから。 リナは絶対出来ることしか頼まない。本当に出来ない時助けるから、安心して”
And another thing I have recently started to say (when she says, mamaaaaa, I cannot dooooo it!!!!!!!")
最近。。。も４歳になったから。。。これも言い出した
is, "be smart. If you cannot do it. THINK OF A WAY SO THAT YOU CAN"
出来ないなら、考えて。 頭を使って。。。出来るように頑張って。そのやり方はダメだったら、他の方法をチャレンジしたら？
After she has accomplished something she thought she could not do...
出来なさそう事を出来たら。。。
The look on her face is priceless
あの顔。。。あの顔は。。。”金”です
The look of confidence and "I can do it"
自信ついて、”やった”感じ
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
Long ago I forgot a spoon for our yogurt in our lunch.
大分前、お弁当にスプーンを入れるの忘れた（ヨグールトを食べるために。。。スプーン）
She said "mom, let's ask for a spoon at the supermarket"
リナが言ってたのは。。。スーパーに行こう
I said "sure we can do that...but say there is no supermarket...then what do we do?"
けど。。。私は。。。彼女に言ったのは”もし。。。近くにスーパーがなければ？ そしてどうする？”
"Let's think...can we make a spoon out of something?"
考えよう。。。何かでスプーンを作れない？
Then I made a spoon out of paper that we had in our lunch.
そして。。。紙でスプーンを作った
I want her to think on the spot. Problem-solving early on in life.
その場で考える... 早く自分でを色々解決してほしい
Think creatively and not be boxed in by "boundaries"
創造的な考えを持ってほしいです！
Life is all about improv.
人生は。。。即興すること。。。
If I can teach her to adapt in any situation, solve a problem despite any difficulties.......
頭をよく使えば、問題を簡単に解決できれば、
She can survive anywhere.
どこでも住める
We might not live in Japan in the future...so I want her to be mentally tough.
未来。。。日本に住まないかも知らない。 だから、強くになって欲しいです
Some of my mother friends were surprised by my "rough mother tactics" but I simply told them,
あるママ友驚いた。。。 ”ラフ”だな。。。。と言われた。。。けど私の返事は。。。
"I want to raise a child that can live anywhere in the world, not only insular Japan."
日本だけじゃなくて、どもでも住める子を育ちたい
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
One more thing is praise...
も一つのは。。。褒めること
I agree that all children should be praised and praised often
子供をよく褒めるのは。。。賛成します。。。
But........I don't like to praise lukewarm efforts.
けど。。。イマイチの場合、私余り褒めない
I mean......if a child is praised for just some so-so work.....why should they even bother trying harder?
イマイチの褒めたら、も頑張らなくてもいい感じ。。。（子供思っちゃう）
When my daughter does a mediocre job, my reaction is just that "oh, I see..."
リナは”まあまああ”やった時、私の反応は”あああ、そうね。。。ｍｍｍｍ”
But when she really tries her best, and does an amazing job, I show just how impressed I am "wow, that is really something!!!!"
けど、本当に頑張る時、素晴らしい時、すごい褒める。
She likes to compose music and original songs
自分を作曲する。。。
Usually it's nonsense and not really catchy...
普段。。。くだらない音楽。。。。。。余り人気なさそう歌
But once she came up with a really great tune...and even honey really was impressed......and we often sing it at home
けど。。。１回。。。すごい上手に作曲した！ パパも驚いたぐらい上手だった。 それから、たまに。。。リナの曲を家で歌う、皆で
It goes like this... (the tune is really catchy...I was surprised)
You don't have a good idea
But I have many good ideas
You don't have a good idea
So you're not as good as me (HA HA!)
The last line I added and help change...and it's said in a joking fashion...to poke fun at each other...... 最後のは。。。酷い冗談です。。。
By not praising everything, I am raising her standards for herself...and being honest.
全てを褒めないから、本人も分かる。。。 上に目指さないとダメ。 正直な称賛は一番。
I think children are a bit shocked in life......because they grow up for the first 5 or so years....with everyone telling them how great they are, cute they are, wonderful they are.......and how wonderful everything is
子供は。。。きっと驚いている。 小学生になる前、何でも”すごい””素晴らしい””素敵””上手”。。。。。。。”可愛い”やること。。。何でも”リッパ”です
Suddenly.....they go to elementary school and reality hits.
けど小学生になると。。。事実。。。そして。。。ドン
They realize...dang, they are not so great after all. They are no better than average.
あああ、結局。。。そこまで上手じゃなかった。 フツです。
Not EVERY piece of art they draw or make is great after all.
アートも。。。全て素晴らしいわけじゃない
And that is, yes, probably pretty darn shocking for kids.
ショック受けちゃう？
I think it is better to learn early in life that "all people, at some point, fail"
私の意見だけ。。。だけど。。。子供は早く覚えた方がいい。 失敗するのは当然です
The important being...how you recover after failure
大切のは。。。失敗の経験があって、勉強になる
I was glad the other day my daughter fell off her bike.
先日。。。娘は自転車から落ちえて。。。 あああ、良かったと思った
You read it, yes, I was glad.
そう。 良かった
Because she fell off her bike at a very good location...not too dangerous but......enough so it gave her a good scare
いい場所で転んだ。 危険じゃない所。。。 けど十分彼女を怖がってた
Dang....after that, she was very careful about riding and now, each time gets off her bike when approaching a similar "ditch"
その後、自転車を載って、十分注意して、乗る。。。 そして危ない所があったら、自転車から降りていきます。
Little failures teach us things, make us more careful in life.
人生の失敗は。。。一番勉強になる。。。 失敗すると、もっと気を付ける
When she runs down a steep hill somewhere...I assess the potential damage...........worst case scenario.
彼女は。。。急な坂道を駆け降りる時。。。私は。。。最低のケースを考える。
Usually if I cannot imagine she'll break a leg or bone...I'll let her run down the hill
もし。。。骨がおりそうじゃに。。。。やらせる
Once, a mom just got finished shouting at her kids "DO NOT RUN DOWN THE HILL"
１回。。。あるお母さんが”坂道から走っちゃダメ！”を叫んだ途端、
When Lina told me, "mama, I wanna run down the hill" and I said..."go for it (slightly wet surface)
リナ私に言った”ママ。。。イイ?” そして。。。やらせた（少しだけ濡れた坂道）
I figured, if she fell...she'd become more careful in the future
まああ。。。転んだら、今度もっと気を付ける
(she is cautious, so she almost never runs at full speed down a hill...もともと。。。気を付ける子。。。フールスピードで坂道を下がらない。。。。 If a kid hits their head falling back on a slippery surface it is dangerous...so again, use your judgement! 滑りやすい時、頭を打つ可能性あるので、気を付けてね ）
She did her usual thing, shouting "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" while running down the hill
いつもと同じ叫びながら坂道から降りた。。。。”ういいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい”を叫んだ
It's her favorite thing to do. Shout "weeeeeeeeeeeeee" as she is flying down a big hill.
彼女の大好きな事。。。 坂道を降りながら。。。ウイいいいいい”を叫ぶ
Little things like that are the thrill in life.
それ見たいのは。。。人生の楽しい事です
Even as an adult, I still do it.
私。。。大人のに、まだやっているよ。
People look at me as if I am nuts
周りの人。。。変な顔するけど
But I love it and don't care about anyone's reaction
けど、大好き、周りの人を全然気にしない
We ride our bike down big hills in our town...and shout "weeeeeee" at the top of our lungs until we cannot shout anymore
自転車を載る時。。。大きい坂からすごいスピードで降りるのは。。。最高です。 ウイいいいい。。。を叫びがら。。。。
(not on rainy days and not when autumn leaves are piled up and chances of slipping are high 雨の日しない。。。そして落ち葉多い時もやらない。。。。大変危険ので、さすがその時やらない)
It makes me feel alive and is psychologically so refreshing.
自転車を載って、叫んで。。。ああああ、大変気持ちです。 すごい生きている感じ。
At Potiron no Mori (park near Narita) we went down a big hill and both shouted on the way down
ＰＯＴＩＲＯＮの森。。。大きな坂道があって。。。そこで。。。降りながら叫んだ、私たち
All the Japanese parents were shocked at the sight
いや。。。少し周りの人は驚いてたみたい
Noisy daughter AND mother shouting down the steep path
煩い子供とお母さん。 険路を降りながら、叫んでいる
Some people gave me an irritated look or "you are stupid" look
ある人私を見て”嫌な顔”してた。。。それとも”バカだな”な感じ
But I don't care.
けど。。。別にいい
My daughter loves that hill...and repeatedly runs down it.
リナはその坂道が大好き。。。何回上から下まで走る
When Lina was young.......she did not sense that mom was a bit off kilter compared to others
リナのもっと小さい頃。。。分からなかったみたい。。 ママが変です
But now she is older and goes to kindergarten...
けど最近。。。幼稚園に行っている。。。
And she has finally started to notice....
漸く気づいたみたい
That mom is a bit "weird"
ママは。。。何か変
And different compared to other moms.
他のママと違って、変
I told her, "it is because I am an Alien"
彼女に言った”ママは宇宙人”だから
Look right here (pointing at my ALIEN CARD...it in fact says ALIEN!) at my ID card - it says ALIEN
”ホラ見て。。。ママは宇宙人のカードを持っているよ。。。ホラ。。。書いている。。。宇宙人”
I love kindergarten kids because at that age.......they still think different is cool
幼稚園生が大好き。。。その頃。。。”変わっている人”は楽しいと思っている
However...whenever I go to elementary schools, most kids just give me a weirded out look
けど。。。小学生になると。。。 私みたいの人を見ると”変なの”と思ってしまう
But anyway...I don't care
けど。。。余りかまいません。
I am not Japanese and will never fit in this country, so why bother trying.
私は。。。日本人じゃない。。。いくら長く日本に住んでても。。。”日本人”にならない。。。 だから、余り無理をしていない
So long as I don't am not a public nuisance or danger to others, it's fine
大きな迷惑じゃなければ、危険じゃなければ、大丈夫と思う。
And basically we follow normal rules and basic etiquette in Japan
普段のルール、行儀を守っているし。
Anyway, I have no idea if my way of child-raising is correct.......
とにかく。。。私の子育てやり方は。。。正しいかどうか。。。を分からない
But I do know that Lina is really mature for her age
けど。。知っているのは。。。リナは。。。４歳のに、色々も分かっている
Is very considerate
思いやりある
And has better self-control than even me
そして、私よりセルフコントロールがあるんだ
So.......so far so good, I guess...heh heh.
だから、今のところ。。。大丈夫。 はは。
Get back to me when she's 18
１８歳ぐらいになってから、本当に分かると思う。