I never knew my husband could be transferred...
This past March, I found out...he could!
After lunch time I got a mail from my husband
書いてあったのは： I will transfer at Nagoya
I was confused...huh? Today he went to Tokyo...why did he transfer at Nagoya?
一瞬、混乱した、私。 えええ？ 名古屋？ 今日？ なんで名古屋？ なんで名古屋で乗り換えなの？ 今日は東京じゃなかったけ。。。？！？！？！
A small mistake in using prepositions can change the meaning COMPLETELY!
I will transfer to Nagoya.... --> I will get transferred to Nagoya 名古屋へ転勤される
I will transfer at Nagoya = 名古屋で乗り換え
You see......even 12 years of marriage...we still sometimes get confused...
Then it dawned up on me.........TRANSFER?!??!!?
Dizzy, in shock.
I spit out the cracker that was in my mouth into the sink, half-choking...
I lost my appetite
I had lived for over 16 years... in the town that I was an expert in
Goodbye to all my friends........all that I knew...
I told my daughter as soon as I could...she too was in disbelief
My husband came home late that night... there was not much conversation, I recall.
I said, "so...we'll be spending our new life in Nagoya soon, right?"
Let's work hard and make it work
My daughter was mixed...sometimes she was happy and looking forward to our new life...other times, sad and gloomy. One day she was crying and saying she did not want to say goodbye to all her friends. I told her she would meet some new friends, without a problem.
娘は。。。たまに。。。新しい名古屋ライフを楽しみにしていた。 たまに…暗い顔をしてて。。。落ち込んでいた感じ。 ある日、彼女は泣いていて、”やだ、友達にさようならを言いたくない” 私の返事：もうすぐ新しい友達ができるから、心配しないでね。
I tried not to show my sadness in front of her but after a particular goodbye party, I could no longer hide it and burst into tears. 自分の悲しさをあまり見せたくなかったけど、ある日の送別会の後、私が激しく泣き出した。。。と娘が驚きました。 She was surprised. I told her that she was saying bye to friends she had known for about 6 or some years...but I was saying goodbye to good friends I had known since almost day one in Japan. 彼女には説明した。。。ママは日本に来てから、最初の友達たちにさようならを言った、十何年の長い付き合い！
In March....I was working and took some days off to look for a new place in Nagoya with my husband.
Originally I thought we could just make a decision based on photos and description but I am sooooooo glad we came in person to see!
最初。。。不動産屋のネット写真を見て、決めると思ったけど。。。そうしなくてよかった！！！！！ 実際見ないと！ 危なかった！！！ やパリ見ないとね！
Since it was already mid-March...only "leftover" places remained
The morning we were going to leave, we took one last look at another real estate agency's listing...very last-minute. We found an ideal place but it was quite small and pricey considering that! The community and school district seemed nice, so we decided on it.
最後の日。。。いきなり。。。”もう少し見ない、物件”。。。とてもぎりぎりでした。 最後、理想の物件を発見！ 理想的なのところを見つけたケドけっこ狭い。。。高いわりに狭い！ 田舎の値段じゃない、やっぱり。。。都会の金額！ でも環境がすごく良くて、学区も良くて。。。頑張ります！
Before I left for Nagoya, everyone told me how flashy the Nagoyans are, how stingy they are, how salty the food is.... I did not have a very pretty picture of it in my mind!
名古屋に来る前に。。。けっこ。。。言われていた。。。 名古屋の人は。。。派手です。。。 ケチです。。。 食べ物は油濃くて塩辛い。 いやいや。。。 あまり”良い”イメージがない、名古屋？
I tried to ignore the stereotypes and decide for myself
It was pretty overwhelming...finding a good place to live, new school, moving...millions of goodbyes
Now, half a year later...we are enjoying Nagoya life.
The first month was pretty rough...it was quite stressful (a.k.a. some fights!)
There were so many support groups for foreigners here so I joined many
It was really helpful to get new information
I could also get a wonderful network of friends (It does not just happen...you have to put in the effort. I sought out advice, found interest groups and joined many activities and met some really fantastic people through it)
We live in a tight-community of families that are often transferred around Japan
And the local school gets many transfer kids (this year around 25!)
この小学校は転校生が多い。。。 今年25人ぐらい。。。 だから、転校生に優しい
Driving is not as easy here as there are many one-way roads but...like they say "just do it" - everything gets easier with practice
Tomorrow we have a trick-or-treat planned in our neighborhood that I helped plan...40 kids and excited parents, all in costume...
Like in the past in our old town, friends come over and stay at our house until the wee hours - midnight...and even a new record - 2 in the morning!!! Ha ha...no one ever wants to go home. Always a party here.
前と同じ、友達はうちに来ると帰りたくない。朝の夜中までワイワイ。 朝の2時まで！ 新しい記録！！！
It does not matter where we live...it will be okay because "home is where the heart is."
Wishing you the best, wherever you are
I don't really update my blog anymore due to time constraints and new endeavors, but if you have important comments, I'll try my best to reply and post about it.
In response to a comment on my blog, wishing for a supportive group for foreign wives of J-people. There is a group on Facebook called FWJP (foreign wives of Japanese people) where women can seek help from each other. It is all private and everything said is supposed to be confidential. I recommend this for some support, good advice from senpai and moms. We face the same types of challenges and it is helpful to know that we are not alone in the struggles we encounter in an international marriage with a Japanese person. Good luck. Marriage with anyone takes a lot of work...I can guarantee you that an international one...takes more work than one that is not. Marriage: easier done than undone, ha ha ha ha.
That and there is another FB group, for people with children in Japanese public school, called "Parents with Kids in Japanese Schools." This is also a very supportive group and great place for those to get advice, help, and sometimes even translation (of docs, handout from school) help.
Anyway hope this helps!