いつ帰るか

いつ日本に帰国しようかな。
チケット安い時がいいんだけど。。

でもまだGraduate Permitが出てないから。。
10月には帰りたいな。　



I remember when I was in NYC for one year study.

When I planed this abroad study, I knew I was going to be there one year, no longer or shorter.

So it was easy for me to leave after one year. I was even excited about going home....

This time, after spending two years here, having made a quite few friends, made myself really settled.

I don't know when I can leave....


It's not like I can make a lot of money or I have a truely loved girl friend...

It just everything became so natural to me including things I used to hate still can not like..

I used to call being in a different country under the name of Ryugaku or whatever you call it "escape from the reality" Because I just felt it such a easy life.

You are in a different country, it's a whole life change from what you are used to...
You may struggle, stressed to adjust to the new environment

After a while... You find yourself surrounded by other students from different countries or same country. it makes you feel better because now you know somebody..

You start hanging out with those people. go to touristy spots, have home parties. You have ppl coming over at your place, make most of it.

Meanwhile, you may or may not study English at school, I am sure it's fun, because I enjoyed myself so much.


But you know, fun time doesnt last forever, you know that you have to put an end to it sooner or later it just matter of time....

It's hard to stop having fun when you are having it...

I was lucky because I knew this is gonna last only one year... Some people can't stop having fun until they realize that they spent so much time having fun...finding themself stuck...



This time, I spent two years studying in college. I was under a lot of pressure, did not have as much fun, but I felt real life. I feel like I spend time like Canadian. Go to school, pick up part time, try to make ends meet. I felt there is an actual life..

Now I am out there just like anybody else graduated school looking for a job. opportunities are provided equally, well mostly equal.


Not knowing what I want to do... Just like I was in Japan after graduating from school.

Everything became so natural.

It's not that I want to become a xitizen here, but I am scared of going home for good.

I know the situation would be better in Japan, but I can't go home now, there is something that I haven't accomplished here. I am not sure what it is, It could be anything I just dont know yet...


I want to stay at least until I find it out....

へこたれ

はい、へこたれです。

最近の暑さにやられて家から出たくありません。
何もしたくないです。
仕事探したくないです。お金ないです。

26歳、自分の人生どうしたらいいか分かりません。

なんて甘えた奴なんだ。。。

もうちょっと頑張らねば。。。

でも誰か助けて。




I am feeling weird

Now that I am graduated and not having much to do, I just sit in my room, letting days to pass right by me....

Not being urged by anything, I just sit, and browse the internet, not feel wanting to look for a job. I just let days spend itself. It's not that I have much money to get me by for long, Might I be feeling overwhelmed by the reality that nothing keeps me on the leash anymore. Being on my own can be a scary thing....


Come to think of it, delightful days when I was waiting for the day that Im leaving for Canada to come.

I was so motivated, exhilarated, and so visioned.
I knew exactly what my goal is... knew what I want to achieve....


I dont't have that sparks anymore....

Have I achived what I wanted to achive?

Over the last two years, I feel like I have forgotten what I came here for,,,,,
Not knowing what I want to do tomorrow, day after tomorrow, and so on.....

Wish mere pressure moved me off the chair, straightened me up, and got me ready for something...

I feel that I need sheer determination before I can do something....

How do I get to the point though?

I wish there was somebody I could talk to about this....

I need someone I can open up to,,, someone like my old friend in japan... wish he was here to push my back...

I haven't spoken my parents in a while, maybe I should call and see what they say.....

26yrs old is such a kid not being able to direct your own life without parental support.... what a joke..

please can somebody help me out?

卒業

今日で全科目終了しました。

もう学校行きません。
2年早かったな～

日本かえりて。

仕事探さなきゃな～、あんまやりたくないんだけども。。

とりあえず2年間全学期で優秀な成績を収められてことだけは良くやり遂げられたなと思います。

明日から何しようかな？



hello!

It's finally done! I no longer go to school!
Two years has been past, it was a blast, I still remember the first day of the school.....
Can't feel it's done. No longer student, I am officially off lease.

What's left here is to look for a job? Do I want to? I think so... not too excited though.
This might sounds too good to be true if it really was true, and I wanted it to be true.

I had a job interview today this afternoon. I was notified on this job yesterday, so I didn't have much time to prepare for it but I was expecting this would be a chance for me to get a full time position right out of gekko without doing much.

Well, apparently things aren't made that good for me.
I was somehow prepped in a shape with such short notice, and filled with a little excitment and hope.

The job is.....

Not what I want to do in a merely way.....
I don't want to take 100 calls a day, and people ask me all sort of stupid questions like not able to logon because they don't know differences between "-" and "_"???? and I have to spend my time to help out some idiots??? No-------------

i mean, after having spent 2 yrs in school studying all technical stuff, and I have to deal with something as fucking simple as this????

I am very dissapointed,,,

Nothing is really easy without an effort eh?

Gotta do it on my own

電動歯ブラシ

電動歯ブラシすげー
すげくきれいに歯磨ける。感動、歯医者さんが進める理由がようやく分かったｗ

みんなも買え！

Ink2

今日デザインをお店に持ってっておいてきました。
初めて入るタトゥーショップの雰囲気に緊張してしまいましたがなんとか言いたいこと伝えてきました。
約2週間後にタトゥー用のスケッチが出来上がりそれを見た上で本予約して墨入れになります。
どんなスケッチになるか楽しみです。。