へこたれ | NULL Canvas

NULL Canvas

always from scratch

はい、へこたれです。

最近の暑さにやられて家から出たくありません。
何もしたくないです。
仕事探したくないです。お金ないです。

26歳、自分の人生どうしたらいいか分かりません。

なんて甘えた奴なんだ。。。

もうちょっと頑張らねば。。。

でも誰か助けて。




I am feeling weird

Now that I am graduated and not having much to do, I just sit in my room, letting days to pass right by me....

Not being urged by anything, I just sit, and browse the internet, not feel wanting to look for a job. I just let days spend itself. It's not that I have much money to get me by for long, Might I be feeling overwhelmed by the reality that nothing keeps me on the leash anymore. Being on my own can be a scary thing....


Come to think of it, delightful days when I was waiting for the day that Im leaving for Canada to come.

I was so motivated, exhilarated, and so visioned.
I knew exactly what my goal is... knew what I want to achieve....


I dont't have that sparks anymore....

Have I achived what I wanted to achive?

Over the last two years, I feel like I have forgotten what I came here for,,,,,
Not knowing what I want to do tomorrow, day after tomorrow, and so on.....

Wish mere pressure moved me off the chair, straightened me up, and got me ready for something...

I feel that I need sheer determination before I can do something....

How do I get to the point though?

I wish there was somebody I could talk to about this....

I need someone I can open up to,,, someone like my old friend in japan... wish he was here to push my back...

I haven't spoken my parents in a while, maybe I should call and see what they say.....

26yrs old is such a kid not being able to direct your own life without parental support.... what a joke..

please can somebody help me out?