いつ日本に帰国しようかな。
チケット安い時がいいんだけど。。
でもまだGraduate Permitが出てないから。。
10月には帰りたいな。
I remember when I was in NYC for one year study.
When I planed this abroad study, I knew I was going to be there one year, no longer or shorter.
So it was easy for me to leave after one year. I was even excited about going home....
This time, after spending two years here, having made a quite few friends, made myself really settled.
I don't know when I can leave....
It's not like I can make a lot of money or I have a truely loved girl friend...
It just everything became so natural to me including things I used to hate still can not like..
I used to call being in a different country under the name of Ryugaku or whatever you call it "escape from the reality" Because I just felt it such a easy life.
You are in a different country, it's a whole life change from what you are used to...
You may struggle, stressed to adjust to the new environment
After a while... You find yourself surrounded by other students from different countries or same country. it makes you feel better because now you know somebody..
You start hanging out with those people. go to touristy spots, have home parties. You have ppl coming over at your place, make most of it.
Meanwhile, you may or may not study English at school, I am sure it's fun, because I enjoyed myself so much.
But you know, fun time doesnt last forever, you know that you have to put an end to it sooner or later it just matter of time....
It's hard to stop having fun when you are having it...
I was lucky because I knew this is gonna last only one year... Some people can't stop having fun until they realize that they spent so much time having fun...finding themself stuck...
This time, I spent two years studying in college. I was under a lot of pressure, did not have as much fun, but I felt real life. I feel like I spend time like Canadian. Go to school, pick up part time, try to make ends meet. I felt there is an actual life..
Now I am out there just like anybody else graduated school looking for a job. opportunities are provided equally, well mostly equal.
Not knowing what I want to do... Just like I was in Japan after graduating from school.
Everything became so natural.
It's not that I want to become a xitizen here, but I am scared of going home for good.
I know the situation would be better in Japan, but I can't go home now, there is something that I haven't accomplished here. I am not sure what it is, It could be anything I just dont know yet...
I want to stay at least until I find it out....