[chapter 218] There Was Never Any "Love" Between Us
■The original Japanese article
■The prrevious article
[ch 217] What Does the "Lie" Mean to Chizuru
Hello! I hope you are enjoying Kanokari! I’m Korakuone (甲楽わん). Happy New Year to you all!
I've been busy with writing fan fanfiction and, well, a lot of things.
It was HOT! LOL. Chapter 218 was quite a surprise for me too. Chizuru was "in love" with Umi-kun.
I'm also a little confused by the (mainly critical) reaction from people overseas to the expressions that are on the edge of shonen (for-teenagers) magazines.
I don't have much to say today. What is depicted in chapter 218 is not NTR, but nothing more than Kazuya's suffering. It is something that many people have experienced at one time and can relate to.
THERE WAS NEVER ANY... "LOVE" BETWEEN US... MIZUHARA AND I... NEVER HAD ANYTHING...
◆SORRY... (213)
In front of the church, Kazuya confessed his love to Chizuru, but she rejected him (Chapter 213).
From Kazuya's point of view, it was a result he did not want to accept, but it was natural. Mizuhara is a beautiful woman, an actress, and a very nice girl that everyone admires. She was truly the "flower of the high mountains". No matter how hard a guy like him tried, he would never be able to reach her. He and she are disproportionate in everyone's eyes. In reality, Mizuhara deserves to be with a high-spec handsome guy like Umi-kun, and she will never be his.
The reason Kazuya was able to continue his false lover relationship with Mizuhara, the reason he was able to date her, the reason it felt like they were getting closer little by little, was all because he was paying to rent her. The dreamy time he had with Mizuhara was something he paid for, and her smile was a rental (an act, a fake), not because she had any special feelings for him.
He is just in love with her on his own. Mizuhara had no intention of turning their lie into the truth.
Kazuya confessed to Mizuhara, breaking both the terms of service and their promise not to have romantic feelings for each other (Chapter 32). There was no way he could rent Mizuhara again. That time will never come back.
That's the reality that confronted him.
Have you ever been rejected by someone you were in love with? Have you ever been shocked to find out that the person you were in love with has a girlfriend/boyfriend? Did you suffer from the fact that there was no future with her/him? Did you feel pain in your heart as you imagined her/him smiling with someone other than yourself? That's exactly the feeling depicted in chapter 218. Nothing more, nothing less.
Kazuya managed to get up and head for the pool.
◆THIS IS RIDICULOUS. A CUTE GIRL LIKE HER IS SAYING SHE LOVES ME... I SHOULD FEEL LIKE THE LUCKIEST GUY ON EARTH. (218)
◆THAT'S RIGHT! I JUST NEED TO GO BACK TO MY LIFE BEFORE SHE WAS THERE! (218)
◆THERE WAS NEVER ANY... "LOVE" BETWEEN US... MIZUHARA AND I... NEVER HAD ANYTHING... (218)
THIS IS RIDICULOUS. A CUTE GIRL LIKE HER IS SAYING SHE LOVES ME...
I SHOULD FEEL LIKE THE LUCKIEST GUY ON EARTH.
THAT'S RIGHT! I JUST NEED TO GO BACK TO MY LIFE BEFORE SHE WAS THERE!
I'VE GOT MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, MY OLD, CAREFREE LIFE...
THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. WHATEVER I THOUGHT WAS HAPPENING WAS AN ILLUSION.
THERE WAS NEVER ANY... "LOVE" BETWEEN US...
MIZUHARA AND I... NEVER HAD ANYTHING...
Kazuya tells himself that even if he loses his love for Mizuhara, he is happy, and that it is "ILLUSION" and not "LOVE". He desperately tries to reason with himself, turning away from the reality of losing Mizuhara and covering the sadness that threatens to overflow.
However, this love was too big for Kazuya.
AH! KAZUYA-KUN! DID I KEEP YOU WAITING?
◆AH! KAZUYA-KUN! DID I KEEP YOU WAITING? (218)
The time he spent with Mizuhara came back to his mind at the slightest hint. Those days when he was so excited to be with her, when she was always encouraging him even when he was not good enough, and when she was so loving.
That "love" was a rental. It was false, fake, tentative, and virtual. But Kazuya was serious. If it was possible, he wanted to make Mizuhara happy with his own hands. He wanted her to fall in love with him, not anyone else. It was a 1% truth born out of a 99% lie.
But to Mizuhara, it was just a pure "lie". There was no "truth" in her. To Mizuhara, he was just a guy who didn't matter. The time with Mizuhara, the most important time in Kazuya's life, would never come again.
Mizuhara will fall in love with someone who is not him, laugh happily, have sex with him, and get married.
◆Kazuya struggles with the reality that Chizuru seriously will fall in love with someone other than him and have sex with that guy. (218)
He wanted to date Mizuhara, have sex with her, and be there for her forever. He wanted to make her happy with his own hands. But Mizuhara herself didn't want that. Her love, her affection, and her body belonged to someone else.
Kazuya suffers from the "reality" that is hard to accept. The "reality" overflows one after another, tightening his chest. He doesn't want to think about it. But he can't stop thinking about it.
Kazuya can't let out his pain to anyone, and he can't let anyone see him cry, so he jumps into the pool.
◆Kazuya cries in the pool. (218)
He cried alone in a place where no one would know.
Some people say that Kazuya's fantasy in chapter 218 is NTR, but apart from joking about it, it is clearly misinterpreted. NTR refers to "the preference to enjoy watching someone you love having sex with someone else. Kazuya neither wants such a situation nor enjoys fantasizing about it. He doesn't want to imagine a future between Mizuhara and anyone else, but he's just confronted with it as reality. It's just that this reality is too painful for him.
From the reactions I've seen on Twitter and Magapoke, Japanese fans are just as surprised by Kazuya's fantasy (sexual expression) as foreign fans. Some of them feel uncomfortable. However, there hasn't been much of a critical movement (perhaps because Japanese people are not very good at publicly criticizing anything, though). Most seem to see it as a striking manga representation of Kazuya's suffering. Japanese fans do not seem to get caught up in the sexual expression itself, but rather take into account the context and correctly understand its meaning, and stay close to Kazuya's suffering.
In Kazuya's imagination, the "memory" of his life and dating with Chizuru is paired with an unacceptable "reality" (a future where Mizuhara and a handsome man are having sex). It's a combination of the painful facts. He lost his lover relationship (rental relationship) with Chizuru and will lost her to another man in the future.
However, it might be more correct to look at it differently and see it as a contrast between the fake (rental) and the real. In Kazuya's mind, the love between himself and Chizuru (including Chizuru's feelings for him) is a fake that he paid for, while the love between her and the handsome man is the real thing. Mizuhara's real love and affection and her body can't be obtained by renting.
The good times between himself and Mizuhara will never come back. Mizuhara will fall in love with a handsome man, date him, have sex with him, and get married. The smiles that Mizuhara has shown him so far are fake ones that he paid for. Real love is never given to him. I can feel his pain from the pairing of "memory" and "reality".
So that's how I look back on chapter 218.
I want Kazuya to get back on his feet as soon as possible, but I also want him to stay depressed and unfulfilled. Kazuya's recovery now means that he will give up on Chizuru and face a new love.
Kazuya may confess his lie. He might go out with Ruka to avoid worrying Mizuhara any more, to show her that he has recovered, or to cover up his loneliness.
And it will be Chizuru who will have a much harder time. Chizuru has only Kazuya to support her by her side. She will be shocked and depressed to the point of helplessness when she realizes that she has dumped him by mistake. There will be nights that will be even more lonely and painful than when he lost Sayuri. I want to jump into the manga right now and hug her, telling her it's going to be okay.
Still, all I can see is a future where Chizuru and Kazuya become together. That's because there is a "truth" between them. They love each other so much. There's no room for doubt about their bright future. As for me, though, I can't help but feel anxious until I see Chizuru's heartfelt smile. lol.
Let's keep an eye on the future of the two of them.
Thank you for your continued support of this blog.