[ch 195] A Promise that Mami Forced upon Chizuru

[chapter 195] A Promise that Mami Forced upon Chizuru

■The original Japanese version

■Previous article

Hello! Are you enjoying Kanokari?

I'm Korakuone, and I've been absent for chapters 193 and 194. It was a "swimsuit episode break". It seems that I'm interested in what's inside Chizuru Mizuhara, but not in what's outside. Lol.

If I could talk about it on my blog, I would say, "enjoy her swimsuit!". That's about it. I didn't have anything to say, so I took a break.

In chapter 195, there was an unexpected Mister Donut episode, a confrontation between Mami-chan and Chizuru. It was really interesting and spectacular. It's been a while since I've talked about it, so I'm updating.

Chizuru's situation was more serious than I imagined...

Chizuru and Kazuya in a Good Mood: Like Real Lovers

◆O-OH, LOOK AT THAT! LOOKS FUN! (194)

Kazuya and Chizuru come to the pool, and they look nice. It's like at Umi-kun's party, isn't it? I like that Chizuru is being more honest now (getting used to the fact that Kazuya likes her?) and that she's not making any "love avoidances" to him. I guess she's decided not to say anything that would make him misunderstand her. If so, that's cute. When they went on the water slide, Chizuru before Kazuya's confession would have said, "Don't get me wrong. Kibe-kun recommended it to me, so I had no choice". She might have made up some excuse to hide her feelings of "I like you" and "I want to have fun with you". Being able to be with Kazuya without making excuses is a nice sign.

Before coming to Hawaiians (the theme park where they went in this trip), Chizuru was very worried about whether what Ruka said was true or not, but Kazuya's confession has probably solved that problem. Even though she still has a little bit of anxiety, she can now clearly see a future where she and Kazuya can become lovers ([ch 192] Rising Chizuru's Heartbeat). In this pool where there are a lot of people, Kazuya won't confess to her, and Ruka won't check up on her because she's relieved that they won't be alone. Grandma Nagomi is also here, so she won't see Mami-san. Chizuru, who has been on her toes for so long, seems to be relaxing a bit.

NOTE: Japanese people try to be alone with each other when they confess. This is because they don't want people around them to hear their extremely private conversations. If you try to confess in a place where there are a lot of people, you will usually be rejected.

◆Chizuru riding the water slide with Kazuya (195)

Besides, she is a rental girlfriend, but she can be Kazuya's girlfriend for now. If they were in a real relationship, Chizuru would be so embarrassed and nervous about going on the water slide together that she would freak out. But Kazuya will think of it as a rental girlfriend job for now. No matter how much she gets along with him or how much she does girlfriend-like things, it doesn't mean that she loves Kazuya. Kazuya won't find out her love for him. So she doesn't feel confused. Chizuru is enjoying her time as a "girlfriend" just as much, if not more, than she did on the uniform date or the cheer-up date. After they slide down the water slide, Chizuru replies, "Yep, I'm fine". But even if you changed that to, "Yeah, it's a lot of fun!," it wouldn't be uncomfortable. That's how much she looks so excited.

It's a brief moment of boyfriend/girlfriend time, the calm before the storm, but I feel like the story is about to take a violent turn.

The second stage of Mami and Chizuru's confrontation at Misudo (Mister Donut) in chapter 195 had more serious consequences than I expected...

Chizuru Can't Move at All

In the first stage of the confrontation with Mami at Misudo (chapter 183), Chizuru finds herself in an untenable situation ([ch 183] Five cards from Mami).

◆BUT... YOU KNOW... THAT'S EXACTLY WHY i FEEL BAD WHEN I THIN ABOUT HER BEING DECEIVED. (183)

BUT... YOU KNOW... THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I FEEL BAD WHEN I THIN ABOUT HER BEING DECEIVED.

Mami pressures Chizuru in a roundabout way, saying, "Depending on how you answer, I will reveal that you are lying". Besides,

◆HOW ABOUT YOU AND I... BRING AN END TO THIS? ALL OF IT! (183)

HE'S CRAZY...
AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T WANTO YOU TO WORRY. I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
ANNOYING CLIENT'S CLUNG ON TO YOU...AND YOU ARE BOUND TO CONFIDENTIALITY, SO YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING, RIGHT?

BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO LET HIM MANIPULATE YOU ANYMORE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? HOW ABOUT YOU AND I... BRING AN END TO THIS? ALL OF IT!
I'LL SAVE YOU FROM KAZU-KUN.

"Kazu-kun has fallen seriously in love with you, his rental girlfriend. You're not in the mood, are you? That is annoying, right? Then I'll help you tell Kazu-kun to stop following you around." That's what she suggested to her (chapter 183).

(1) Grandmother Nagomi will find out that her relationship with Kazuya is a lie.
(2) Tell Kazuya that he's bothering her by following her around. Get him misunderstand that she dislike him.

Chizuru ended up being forced to choose between these two options. No, it would be better to say that she was forced to make the second option (the proposal from Mami) while holding the first hostage.

If she said yes to Mami's proposal, it would be the same as telling Kazuya that she hates him. There was no way she could do something that would hurt him and almost dump him, even though she wanted to be Kazuya's girlfriend now. Besides, Kazuya's family and Grandma Nagomi would misunderstand that she's always hated him. She doesn't want to create such a misunderstanding.

Chizuru wants to say no. But, on this day, Chizuru tried not to offend Mami by telling her that there was nothing between her and Kazuya and that their relationship when they made the movie was just an actress and a producer. Chizuru doesn't want to upset Mami, so she can't explain to her that she has been in a fake relationship with Kazuya because she didn't want to lose a connection with him. Chizuru can't explain why she says no.

The only way she could say no to Mami's proposal would be to explain that the reason for continuing the relationship was because she didn't want to make Grandma Nagomi sad. But if she gave such an excuse, Mami would say, "That's just too sad for her. OK. I'll just tell her the truth".

Grandma Nagomi is very important to Chizuru now. She is the person who will become her family in the future. She loves Chizuru and trusts her, and Chizuru herself loves Grandma Nagmoi. If she finds out that Kazuya and Chizuru-hime are not lovers, it will make Nagomi sad, and she might dislike Chizuru because she had lied to Kazuya's family and Gramma Sayuri. Chizuru thinks so, and has even this excuse blocked by Mami.

Chizuru has no choice in the matter. After leaving Mami, Chizuru goes to a batting cage (chapter 184).

There is no doubt Mami-san doesn't like that we have continued the fake relationship.

If Mami-san gets serious, it will be easy to expose my relationship with Kazuya as a lie. She told me that she would end my relationship with Kazuya.

But how? What does Mami-san have in mind? If she does, what am I supposed to do?

Chizuru no longer has the means to stop Mami. If she doesn't, she'll be exposed as lying about her relationship with Kazuya. She doesn't know what Mami is trying to do. It might end up misleading Kazuya.

Even though Kazuya told me that he was in love with me.

If there is a way for Chizuru not to lose Grandma Nagomi's trust, a way not to hurt Kazuya, there is only one way. It's to turn their lies into the truth.

◆AND WHEN THE TIME COMES... I...(184)

"She's gonna find out, they're gonna find out..." When I saw Chizuru worrying about this, I thought that in her mind, she didn't have the option of treating Kazuya like a stalker (taking Mami's proposal). I thought that Chizuru had chosen to accept Mami exposing their lie, and that she was thinking about what she should do based on that.

But in reality, that was not the case. Mami told her that she would end the relationship with Kazuya as a rental girlfriend and a client, which has resulted in almost as if they had made a pact. That's why during this trip, Chizuru was very worried about Mami's proposal in addition to the lie being exposed. Chapter 195 depicted that.

Promise to Mami-san

◆HE'S CRAZY... (183)

At the Misudo, Mami said, Kazu-kun has fallen seriously in love with you, his rental girlfriend. You're not in the mood, are you? It's annoying, isn't it? Then I'll help you tell Kazu-kun not to hang around." That's what she suggested (chapter 183).

Of course, Chizuru got troubled by such a proposal. There was no such thing as stalking as Mami said, and there was no way she could tell Kazuya that he was bothering her. She wants to say that it's just a misunderstanding on Mami's part, and somehow turn down her proposal.

◆KAZUYA-SAN... A STALKER? THAT'S TAKING IT TOO FAR. (195)　

KAZUYA-SAN... A STALKER?
THAT'S TAKING IT TOO FAR.

As Chizuru leaves the Misudo, she tries to convince Mami that this is not necessary. Again, at this point, Chizuru is not simply saying this because she is upset that Kazuya has been treated like a stalker. Kazuya-san is not a stalker, and I am not in trouble. So I can't accept your proposal. So that's what Chizuru is saying, and she's arguing against Mami.

However, Mami puts up a perfectly right argument.

◆OH NO! YOU'RE SO NAIVE... THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOU GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, YOU KNOW. (195)　

OH NO! YOU'RE SO NAIVE...
THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOU GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, YOU KNOW.
AND YOU HAVE TO THINK OF HOW IT LOOKS TO YOUR OTHER, RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T SHOW FAVORISOM. YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO DRAW A LINE.

What Mami is talking about is "the right way to be a rental girlfriend". It's not good to say nothing when a client is seriously love in with you. It's wrong to treat only certain clients specially. If you do that, you could be in danger.

◆NO, THATS... BUT I... (195)

NO, THATS...

BUT I...

Chizuru then tried to refuse Mami's proposal. At that moment!

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM...?
IT KINDA...SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM.

◆ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM...? IT KINDA...SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM. (195)

Is it because you love Kazu-kun...
that you continue to "play the lover"?
Right? Make it clear.

When Mami said that, Chizuru couldn't refute any of it. What Mami is saying is exactly right, and Chizuru has no reason to refute it. The reason why she is trying to refuse Mami's proposal is all because she loves Kazuya. This is because she wants to be his girlfriend, he's important to her, and she can't tell him that she was troubled or annoyed by him liking her.

I'm sure Chizuru doesn't want Mami to know her true feelings for him, and just now she explained that there is nothing between Kazuya and her so as not to upset Mami. There's no way she can tell her that she really likes Kazuya too.

I can't tell her. I shouldn't tell her.

◆NO...THE WHOLE IDEA IS... (195)

NO...THE WHOLE IDEA IS...

Chizuru wanted to somehow convince Mami that Kazuya-san was not a problematic client and therefore she did not need to do anything. But in the end, Chizuru, who had no justifiable reason for being a rental girlfriend, couldn't refute any of it. As a result, it ended up as if she made a promise to Mami.

And then the Hawaiians. Mami appeared there.

There is no doubt Mami-san doesn't like that we have continued the fake relationship.

If Mami-san gets serious, it will be easy to expose my relationship with Kazuya as a lie. She told me that she would end my relationship with Kazuya.

But how? What does Mami-san have in mind? If she does, what am I supposed to do?

She doesn't know what Mami is going to do. But she will do something for sure. That must be the reason why she came along on this trip.

But if Mami does something concrete, Chizuru, who can't tell the truth (that she wants to be Kazuya's girlfriend and doesn't want to tell him she's bothered by him), won't have any way to stop her. If Mami asks again, "Do you love Kazu-kun? Explain why," Chizuru won't be able to refute anything and stop her. The only thing Chizuru can do on this trip is to keep an eye on Mami and make sure she doesn't expose their lies.

Promise to Chizuru Mizuhara

Now let's look at the promise from Mami's point of view.

Mami knows that Chizuru has been in a fake relationship with Kazuya for over a year and a half. Furthermore, six months ago, when she warned her that they should stop playing lovers, Chizuru tried very hard to be there for Kazuya, who was supposed to be just a client, and asked her to face him (chapters 47-49). It's also clear that Kazuya is in love with Chizuru (chapter 61). Mami also knows that the two of them even worked together to set up a crowdfunding campaign to make a movie (chapter 183).

◆THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT THERE (183)

Normally, it would be more difficult to believe that there was nothing between the two of them. Mami must be quite suspicious that there is definitely something going on between them and that it is a special relationship.

And on this day, Mami proposes to Chizuru that she will end her rental relationship with Kazu-kun. Mami may have wanted to justify her actions by getting Chizuru to accept her proposal, or she may have wanted to make Chizuru put it bluntly that she's in love with Kazuya by making a proposal that Chizuru could not refuse.

Either way, or both, Mami suggests to Chizuru that she will end her rental relationship with Kazu-kun. Continuing a false lover relationship for a year and a half is an excessive interference in private life and a clear violation of the terms of service. As a rental girlfriend, you have to avoid the danger of being approached by clients. That's why Chizuru Mizuhara, a rental girlfriend, is supposed to say, "You're right. I will end my relationship with him". But...

◆KAZUYA-SAN... A STALKER? THAT'S TAKING IT TOO FAR. (195)　

KAZUYA-SAN... A STALKER?
THAT'S TAKING IT TOO FAR.

That's what Chizuru Mizuhara says and has been opposing her proposal. Huh? You're not going to stop it? Then you're still in love with Kazu-kun, that's why you want to refuse. The moment Chizuru objected, Mami must have had an idea why Chizuru was against it.

◆OH NO! YOU'RE SO NAIVE... THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOU GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, YOU KNOW. (195)　

Mami's eyes turning pitch black.

After that, Chizuru Mizuhara continued to oppose her proposal without any justifiable reason. In Mami's mind, her suspicion must have turned to certainty. There was only one reason for her opposition.

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM...?
IT KINDA...SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM.

◆ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM...? IT KINDA...SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM. (195)

Is it because you love Kazu-kun...
that you continue to "play the lover"?
Right? Make it clear.

"ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM...?" This question may have been the last chance Mami gave Chizuru. She has been "playing lover" with Kazu-kun for a long time, and even though she is clearly in love with him, she won't tell her that she loves him. I lost the person I loved to a fake lover, a rental girlfriend, and was hurt. If you love him, say so clearly. If you make it clear, then I'll accept everything you've done for me. Maybe that's how she was feeling. But...

◆NO...THE WHOLE IDEA IS... (195)

NO...THE WHOLE IDEA IS...

Chizuru Mizuhara still didn't say that she was in love with him. Seeing Chizuru give an ambiguous answer in frustration, Mami must have been convinced that she loved Kazu-kun at that time at the latest.

Then some emotion moves in Mami's mind (bottom right panel).

You're in love with Kazu-kun, right?
And yet you don't say you love him? You don't admit it?
Make it clear. If you don't, then I'll...

Chizuru Mizuhara lied that nothing is going on between her and Kazuya, and she won't admit that she loves him. She doesn't even want to quit being a rental girlfriend. Even though she's clearly in love with Kazu-kun, she tries to keep on "playing the lover" forever. I guess she hated Chizuru's unclear attitude.

In any case, at this moment, Mami's decision must have been made. She was determined to end the rental relationship between Chizuru-san and Kazu-kun, even if she had to do it by force.

Up until now, Mami had never done anything that would be criticized by those around her. For those who don't know about the real relationship between Chizuru and Kazuya, there is no reason for Mami's actions to be criticized at all. She's just helping out a rental girlfriend because she's being followed around by a client she doesn't like. If Chizuru had been able to clearly say, "I really want to be his girlfriend," even Mami would not have been able to commit the obviously outrageous act of breaking up the two people who want to be lovers.

However, Chizuru did not ask her to stop because she loved Kazuya. Mami was able to get Chizuru to swallow her proposal on the surface with this conversation. So even if Mami uses forceful means to end the relationship between Chizuru and Kazuya, she will be allowed to do so because "it's my promise to Chizuru-san". So Chizuru put Mami in a situation where she could do anything she wanted, because she couldn't tell her that she loved Kazuya.

A Wounded Heroine: Mami Nanami

As I was sorting out the dialogue between Mami and Chizuru, my image of Mami became clearer, so I would like to talk a little about that. We don't have much information about Mami, so some part of my image of her is based on my imagination and fantasy. I'm sure my views will change in the future, but I'll tell you what I think of Mami's story at the moment. I hope you'll enjoy it, and think of it as a hypothesis.

One month after going out with Kazuya, Mami dumps him. I don't know why. Maybe it was because of "that guy" (chapter 20), or maybe she just didn't like the fact that she was dating an unattractive guy like Kazuya.

Two weeks after their breakup, she finds out that Kazuya has a new girlfriend (chapter 5). Mami couldn't forgive them for this.

When they were dating, Kazuya was totally in love with Mami. He always called her cute, forgave her for everything, and worked hard for her. She felt comfortable when she was with Kazuya, and she liked him that way. I think she was in love with him.

◆そっか　ごめんね　よしよし（I see. I'm sorry. There, there.） (6)

そっか　ごめんね　よしよし

（I see. I'm sorry. There, there.）

But after they broke up, Kazuya got a girlfriend soon after. At a drinking party, Mami wanted to make sure Kazuya was still hers. She badmouthed Kazuya to Chizuru and said something like, "Why don't you stop going out with this guy?" She also said to Kazuya, "Right? Kazu-kun". That's how she tries to show his new girlfriend (Chizuru) that Kazuya is on her side no matter how much she badmouths him. "What are you talking about, Chizuru?" I'm that kind of guy," Kazuya says to defend Mami. She is happy to see Kazuya defending her like that. On the way home, even though she ends up rejecting him, she feels relieved when he tells her that he still has feelings for her.

Up to this point, things were going according to Mami's wishes. However

◆水原はそんなコじゃないよ（Mizuhara is not kind of girl.） (6)

水原はそんなコじゃないよ

（Mizuhara is not kind of girl.）

Kazuya, who was supposed to love her, took the side of his new girlfriend and left her.

That's absolutely not true. It's just that he has a new girlfriend, so his feelings are focused on her right now. I'm sure Kazu-kun still loves me the most. Mami must have really hated the fact that he wasn't hers anymore. She vented discontent about Kazuya and Chizuru on Twitter.

Not wanting to believe that Kazuya's feelings had left her, she decided to seduce him at the beach. Kazuya tells his friends, "We (I and Chizuru) have been talking about breaking up". For a while, it looked as if she was able to get Kazuya and Chizuru to break up, and win Kazuya's heart for herself. Mami tells Kazuya that she will be waiting for him at the pool and wants him to come.

However, Kazuya never came to the pool and went to save Chizuru from drowning in the ocean (chapter 15).

◆Kazuya broke his promise to Mami. (16)

Kazuya always called Mami cute and did everything what she wanted. She was sure that would never change. But in reality, the person he was with has become not herself, but his current girlfriend. Mami was completely dumped by Kazuya.

Being a "tsuyogari (bluff)" person (which means those who can't admit the fact they are actually not tough and try to hide their weakness), Mami might have found it hard to admit how painful it was to be dumped by Kazuya. I don't want to be with that stupid guy. That's why virgins are no good. She may have told herself that she was not hurt at all.

◆恋なんかしないって　決めてるんだから (I've had enough of love. I've already decided I won't fall in love with anyone.) (20)

恋なんかしないって　決めてるんだから

(I've had enough of love. I've already decided I won't fall in love with anyone.)

But that's not what Mami really feels. She is really hurt and hates that Kazuya doesn't look at her anymore.

Later, Mami learns that Kazuya's girlfriend, Chizuru Mizuhara, is actually a rental girlfriend.

◆Mami learned that Chizuru Mizuhara was a rental girlfriend. (44)

She had lost the person she loved to a half-baked, fake, unlovable, and fruitless "girlfriend". She was being hurt by something that was neither love nor anything else. If Kazuya and Chizuru had been real lovers, it would have taken Mami a long time to accept the reality of being rejected and hurt, but she would have done nothing and just endured it.

◆もう「恋人ごっこ」は　やめて？ (Can you stop "playing lovers"?) (47)

もう「恋人ごっこ」は　やめて？

(Can you stop "playing lovers"?)

Mami finds out that a rental girlfriend, who is not his lover or anything, has hurt her. This is when Mami's story of ending their relationship has begun.

◆和くん　人生は一回なんだよっ (Kazu-kun, you only live once.) (62)

However, Mami can't be enough honest to say, "I'm hurt because of a rental girlfriend and I hate the fact that they're still continue a fake relationship". This is because It's almost like she's saying, "I really like you, Kazu-kun, and I'm hurt that you rejected me".

I don't care what that fucking virgin thinks of me, I'm fine.
It's just that he wanted to go out with me, so I was just going out with him to pass the time.

Kazu-kun, you only live once.
"If you don't have a real girlfriend, you'll lose it. (chapter 61)

But Chizuru doesn't need to be pushed around anymore.
Let's end this. Together... everything. (chapter 183)

I don't have feelings for Kazu-kun anymore, and I'm not upset that they're continuing their fake relationship. As if to assert this, Mami says that it's wrong to continue playing lovers and that it's not good for either of them.

To me, it looks like Mami is really heartbroken and wants to put her pain and frustration straight into Chizuru and Kazuya, but she can't do it. She doesn't want to admit to herself that she's hurt, and she doesn't want others to think so either. Like Chizuru, Mami is also very "tsuyogari" and seems to be trying her best to hide her hurt feelings by insisting that she is on their side.

Mami is hiding her hurt feelings under the mask of being fine. This is my image of Mami at the moment. If I'm right, then the reason why she met with Chizuru again and pushed her proposal and made a kind of promise was probably because she wanted to make up justifiable reasons and hide her hurt feelings. Also, seeing how Mami reacted to (and was irritated by) Chizuru when she said she didn't have feelings for Kazuya, along with that, she must have been frustrated with Chizuru for being in a half-hearted and fake relationship forever, and wanted Chizuru to make it clear.

However, Chizuru wouldn't admit her feelings for Kazuya or stop playing the lover. As a result, she accepted her proposal. Then, I'm sure there is only one action for Mami to take. It is to end Chizuru's rental relationship with Kazuya or make her quit her job as a rental girlfriend.

From Mami's words and actions, it seems that her goal in this trip is to end the relationship between Kazuya and Chizuru, who are playing lovers. However, since the background is not described, it is difficult to read the feelings hidden behind her actions. In fact, she may be trying to destroy the real relationship between Chizuru and Kazuya (the state of affinity), or she may have a different purpose. Let's hope for that in the future.

So that's how I looked back at chapter 195. Well, it might be more correct to say that I organized the conversation between Mami and Chizuru.

It was roughly described in chapter 183, but after Mami appeared on the trip, her proposal was explained again. So I'm sure it will have something to do with what happens next. The cornered Chizuru may have to make a big decision, and as I mentioned before, she may have to show her love for Kazuya. Let's keep our eyes on Mami and see what she does.

See you in the next post!

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