自分が相手の立場だったら、相手が辛い時はこうするだろうと期待する支えを、1番近いと思っていた人からもらえないこと以上に、「最後は自分で乗り切るしかない」という彼の考えは、私の家族や友人が一生懸命それぞれのやり方で支えてくれていることを無意味と言われているようで、それはもっと納得が行かなかった
私が手術や治療を今まで乗り越え、頑張って無理にでも笑っていられるのは彼らのおかげだった
それを無意味と言われる筋合いはないと思った
根本的な価値観の違いは他にもいっぱいあったけど、それだけは許し難かった
The expectation of how I would support my partner if I was in my partner’s shoes and not recieving it even after having asked for it was painful enough
But his idea that “we all go through pain alone” felt as if I was told that everything that my family and friends were doing for me were meaningless.
I knew I was on my two feet, desperately but still on my two feet, managing to force a smile and get through what I had gone through - because I had my family and friend’s support. If not for them, I knew I wouldn’t be how I was mentally.
I couldn’t deal with the fact that my other half could not understand that, or dismiss it. There were many values we couldn’t come to terms with, but this was one too much.